“When I have sex with you, I want to be all in with nothing in the way. Does that make sense?”
“Absolutely.” I don’t like the potential of my twin coming between us like that, but she wouldn’t be the person I know her to be if she didn’t feel like this. “And for the record, I like that this is new for both of us. What we have is different than anything I’ve experienced before. I don’t want to rush into sex either. I want it to be special between us, and I know it will be as long as neither of us are forcing it.”
She slides back onto my lap. “How have you never had a girlfriend before, Dillon? I just don’t understand it.”
“It’s pretty simple.” I run my thumb along her lower lip before lifting my eyes to hers. “I was waiting for you.”
“How did Aoife take the news?” I ask Jay as we wait to go onstage at the Trinity Ball. After Aoife threw a hissy fit a couple of weeks ago when Jay told her she wasn’t invited to come with us tonight, he decided it was time to cut her loose once and for all. Conor has no issue with it either, and I’ve been wanting to sever ties for some time.
“She was upset, but she’s promised to be cool about it as long as we don’t mind her hanging around Whelans and Bruxelles.She still wants to support Toxic Gods even if she’s no longer warming our beds.”
“I hope that’s the truth. If she causes trouble, she’s barred.”
“She has stayed away from Viv after you spoke to her,” Jamie reminds me.
“Because I made it very clear what would happen if she continued that bullshit.”
I was fuming when Ash and Viv told me how Aoife was treating Vivien when my back was turned. I promised Viv the band groupies wouldn’t be an issue, and I intend to stick to my word. I want Vivien to feel comfortable when she’s with me, and no woman is going to make her feel less than on my watch.
“How is Viv? She didn’t seem too upset about the pictures.”
We were in the middle of our soundcheck when Jay showed me the pictures onOK Magazine’s website of Reeve fucking around with Saffron Roberts in Mexico. I know they are splashed all over the print editions in the shops because Ash said that’s how Viv learned of their existence after I called my sister to give her a heads-up.
My twin is such an idiot, and he deserves to lose Vivien forever.
“She’s grand.” I was expecting her mood to be low and maybe some tears, but I’m glad to have been proven wrong. I think Vivien has turned a corner, and I’m happy for her. She didn’t deserve the way he treated her, and now she’s fully exorcised Reeve from her life, the path is clear for me. “He’s a free agent now, and in a weird way, I think it’s given her the closure she needed.”
I don’t tell my mate Viv told me she’s ready for sex because it’s private between her and me. She let me eat her out a few nights ago, and she sucked my dick, and all I’ve been thinking about since is how utterly stunning she is naked and how incredible she felt coming against my lips. It was hands downthe best blowjob of my life, and I know sex with her is going to be out of this world. My cock has been straining against my zip ever since she pulled me aside a few minutes ago and told me she wants to ditch the after-parties later and go back to her place to fuck the rest of the night away.
I am dying to feel her tight cunt hugging my hard dick.
I have never wanted to fast-forward time as badly as I want to fast forward it tonight.
“She loved her presents. You were worrying for nothing.” Jay slaps me on the back.
I might have had a little existential crisis over what to buy my girlfriend for her twentieth birthday. “It’s hard to buy birthday presents for the girl who has everything, especially when I’m on a limited budget.” She seemed to love the Claddagh necklace and the photo album I bought her, and Ash said the breakfast I sent to their gaff was well received. My sister was a little cagey on the phone this morning, and I know she lied when I asked her what Reeve sent Vivien. Maybe it’s best I don’t know. I don’t want anything ruining tonight especially not my twin.
“Dil, you need to let go of this shite. So what if she has wealthy parents and more money than you? Viv doesn’t give a crap about that, and you shouldn’t either. She likes you for you, mate. It’s not about what you can or can’t buy her.”
I wish it was that easy. It’s hard not to compare myself to my twin and difficult not to feel inferior when he can buy her the world and all I’ve got to give her is a part of myself. Maybe if I was being fully honest with her and all the secrets and lies were out on the table, it might be easier to disregard the vast differences in our upbringings and our bank balances.
But that’s an impossibility when I’ve pledged to use her for my own gain.
Even if I wanted to change my mind and fess up now, it’s too late.
It will seem like another betrayal to her, and I’ll lose her anyway.
I doubt she’ll like me very much when she realizes she doesn’t really know me at all.
33
AGE 20
“Hurry, Dillon,” she rasps, collecting her hair in one hand and lifting it so I can access the back of her dress. We tried and failed to find a taxi, racing home on foot, desperate to be together. It’s been a long day and night, but I’ve never felt more awake.
I think I’ll die if I don’t get to fuck her ASAP.
“I’m trying. Could you have made these buttons any smaller?” I curse a few times as I grapple with her dress, and she giggles. The sound of her happiness does weird things to my insides as I fumble with these fucking stupid buttons. “Done,” I say a few seconds later, watching with my tongue hanging out of my mouth as she shimmies out of the gorgeous dress she designed and made especially for the ball.
