To be honest, the vibe is better with Ro as our drummer. It feels like this is always how Toxic Gods was meant to be. It also means Jay and I now have our own bedrooms. I love Jamie like a brother, but he’s a messy fucker, and while we often tag team girls, banging birds together all the time was getting old. Having a private space to fuck girls makes life easier even if I still kick most of them out after we’re done. I don’t like waking up with random girls in my bed.
We bought a sofa bed for the sitting room, and Ro sleeps there at weekends after we play our regular gigs at Whelans and Bruxelles. Both pubs are big venues on the indie rock scene in Dublin, and we have amassed a hardcore following who show up for us week in and week out.
After Ro sits his Leaving Cert next summer, we plan to look for a four-bed townhouse in Inchicore or Drumcondra. It won’t be as central as our current place, but any four-bed gaffs in the city are way out of our price range. If we live a little farther out, we can get around on our bikes or use public transport.
Uncle Eamonn gave us his van when he bought a new one. He could have traded it in, but he knew we needed a van to transport our equipment to and from gigs, and he kindly offered it to us. My uncle is a legend, and we owe him one. Usually, we pay a guy to drive the van back home after every gig so we can stay and party.
“Be happy our children want to be independent,” Da says, yanking me out of the inner monologue in my head. He dries his hands down the front of his black cargo pants because Ash hasn’t unpacked any towels yet.
“Plus, we don’t live a million miles away,” Ash reminds her, shucking out of Ma’s hold.
“And we come to Sunday dinner at least once a month,” I add. I made Ma a promise a year ago when we moved out, and I’ve kept it.
“I know I’m being silly,” she says, standing. “I can’t help worrying, and I miss you.” She sniffles, and Da pulls her into his arms. “I don’t know what I’ll do with myself when Ronan leaves and we have an empty nest.”
“You have Chloe to keep you busy,” I say. “And I’m sure Fi and Shane will give you lots more babies once they get married.” My oldest brother is now engaged to his longtime girlfriend, and they’re planning their wedding for next summer.
“Ciarán will probably propose to Susie soon and I bet they’ll give you more grandkids too,” Ash supplies. “Just don’t go counting on me. I’m still sworn off relationships.”
“Or me,” I say. “I have zero plans to ever get married or have kids.”
“You might want to change your promiscuous lifestyle then.” Ash arches a brow, and I flash her a warning look to quit it. The less Ma knows about the stuff I get up to, the better.
“On that note, we’ll go home.” Ma hugs us one at a time. “Don’t be strangers. Love you.” She kisses my cheek. “Watch over your sister, Dillon. Make sure she’s safe.”
“Always, Ma.” She doesn’t see Ash rolling her eyes behind her back.
“Don’t forget we’re only a phone call away if either of you need anything,” Da says, slapping me on the back.
“Let me know if you need any more money,” he tells Ash as he hugs her.
“I’ll be grand, Da. You and Dil have done enough for me already.”
I gave Ash half the money for her deposit, and my parents gave her the rest. She worked part-time in Centra Kilcoole while in first year, and she worked full-time this summer to save money for moving to the city. Our parents are paying her college fees, but she buys all her own books and materials. She managed to get a part-time job in Centra on Dame Street, which is only a few minutes’ walk from Trinners and not too far from her flat either. I told her I’ll help out where I can, though I don’t have a lot of spare cash. Any extra money we make is going into a savings account for paying for a recording studio.
“Do you need help unpacking?” I ask after our parents have left.
“Nah. I’ll manage. I know your shift starts in a few hours. Go home and rest.” Her face sours.
“What’s that look for?”
“Nothing.” She starts unloading the box on the kitchen counter.
“Ash.”
She sighs. “Is Aoife living at your place now?” She nibbles on her lip as she removes items from the box, looking everywhere but at me.
“No. Why’d you ask?”
We met Aoife at Whelans a couple months ago. She’s one of a number of girls who follow us around, eager to fuck us. Unlike the other girls, she’s chill, and we decided we’d appoint her as our regular band bird. Feels a little crass thinking that, but she’s fucked me, Jay, and Conor, on several occasions, so if the cap fits… There is no shortage of pussy if we want it, but having regular pussy on tap has its advantages, so we’re trying this out.
Ash shrugs, but her shoulders are corded into muscles, and she’s not fooling me. “She just seems to always be there lately.”
I think I know what this is about. She’s jealous Aoife is sleeping with Jamie. I have a suspicion that something happened this summer between my sister and my best mate. I have no proof. It’s just a gut feeling. When I asked Jay, I’m pretty sure he lied to my face. I used it as an opportunity to warn him to keep his fucking hands off my sister.
After Cillian, I’m extra protective of my only sister. She’s fucked a few blokes at college, but I always make sure they know I’ll rearrange their insides and their faces if they hurt her. Ash doesn’t seem interested in getting serious with anyone. She appears happy to just have casual sex, and I’m okay with it. Less chance of her being betrayed that way. Ash needs to find a nice, decent guy when she’s ready to commit to a relationship again. The last thing she needs is a hound like Jamie Fleming. And I’m not being hypocritical. I’m as much of a slut as he is. I just don’twant that kind of guy for my sister even if he is one of the best guys I know.
Anyway, if something was going on between them, it’s definitely not now. Jay has been with several girls these past couple weeks, including Aoife. Ash is back to constantly bitching about him, and my mate goes out of his way to avoid her. It’s for the best. Jamie is not the man for my sister. End of.
