“It’s something I’ve always wanted to do.” Daddy takes my hands in his much bigger ones. “I wanted to give that special experience to another child so they could enjoy all the wonderful things I did growing up.”
“Your daddy and I have lots and lots of love to give.” Mum’s voice sounds strange, and there’s water in her eyes. “Your Auntie Eileen told us about you, and the minute we met you, we knew you were ours.”
The pain in my tummy is in my chest now. It’s like someone is hammering on me from the inside.
“We loved you instantly, Dillon, and we were happy we could give you a home.” Now Daddy has water in his eyes.
There’s a strange taste in my mouth, and I snuggle in closer to my mummy, feeling cold all over.
“You are our son in the same way Shane, Ciarán, and Ronan are. We love you boys and Aisling equally.” Mum puts her finger under my chin. “Do you understand what we are saying, love?”
I nod, holding on to her shirt even though I don’t really understand.
“It’s a lot to take in.” Daddy kisses my forehead. “I was a bit older than you when I found out, and it was confusing at first.But you don’t need to worry about it for now, and it doesn’t change anything.”
“We’re your parents. Your family.” Mum squeezes me so hard it feels like my bones might break. “And we love you to the moon and back.” She puts kisses all over my face. “Don’t ever doubt how much you are loved, Dillon.”
“Okay.”
“Do you have any questions? Is there anything you want to say or know?” Her forehead is all scrunched up as she stares at me.
I shake my head, and she hugs me closer.
Daddy wraps his arms around both of us. “We just needed you to know. If you don’t have any questions right now, that’s fine.”
“In time, you will.” Mum holds my face in her hands. “Don’t bottle it up, Dillon. Come and talk to us about your feelings. You can tell us anything, and we’ll understand.”
“When you have questions, come to me or your mum, and we’ll do our best to answer them. I promise.”
“Okay,” I say, and they both have funny expressions on their faces. “Can we get pizza now?”
2
AGE 12
“Dillon Thomas O’Donoghue! You are so dead!” My sister screams at me, pushing her long, wet strawberry-blonde hair off her face and trying to look mad. But her lips are twitching, and I know she’s trying not to laugh.
I walk into the cold Irish Sea in my T-shirt and shorts, heading towards her. “Look! I’m in my clothes too. You can’t get mad at me for throwing you in now.”
“You’re a dickhead.” Ash fake glares at me.
“Tell me something new,” I tease.
“Joke’s on you, sucker!” Ash yells, snorting laughter as she grabs my arm and pulls me down fully under the water.
We stay in the sea, swimming, splashing one another, and messing about as the few other people on Kilcoole Beach pack up their things and leave. “Come on. We better get home before Ma starts looking for us.” I hold out my hand, and my sister links her fingers in mine as we stumble out of the sea, shivering, with our clothes stuck to our skin. Grabbing the pink towel, I wrap it around Ash, rubbing my hands up and down her arms and across her back like Ma does.
“Fuck off fussing and dry yourself. I can hear your bones rattling.” Ash flings the blue and green towel at me.
“Ma will kick your arse if you keep cursing,” I remind her as I drag the towel through my messy brown hair before wrapping it around my shoulders.
“You curse as much as I do.” Ash pulls off her swim shoes and shoves her feet into her runners.
“I’m a boy.”
She digs her elbows into my ribs. “That’s sexist. What the fuck has that got to do with anything?”
“You heard Ma. It’s not ladylike. She can hardly say that to me now, can she?” Bending down, I grab my backpack and pull out my runners, switching my swim shoes for them before dumping both our swim shoes in the bag and grabbing my mobile phone. I got one for my tenth birthday. Now all of us have phones except for Ronan. He has another year and a bit to wait before it’s his turn. Ma only let us have phones for safety, and as I stare at all the missed calls and texts, I kinda wish I didn’t have one. “Fuck.” I sling the bag over my shoulder and sigh.
