She falters in the doorway, casting a worried glance at her husband.
Mr. Doyle lets me go with a shove. “Leave, Dillon, and don’t come back.”
I turn around and smirk. “Tell your son to stay away from my sister and my house. I won’t come back here as long as he keeps the fuck away from Ash.”
Mrs. Doyle cringes as if cursing in her presence paints a dark stain on her soul.
“He won’t be going anywhere near your slut of a sister,” Kelly hisses, having stopped her screaming and shrieking. I guess she’s Cillian’s mouthpiece now. I doubt her mother-in-law is impressed with her language either.
“Brave words for a skank who got herself knocked up before she’s even finished school,” I sneer. “Or are they stupid words from a bitch so desperate to hold on to a man she had to steal she’d overlook his blatant cheating while she’s carrying his child? I’d put a tracking device on that one, Kelly.” I jab my finger in Cillian’s direction. He’s sitting on the ground with his knees bent and his head cradled in his hands. “You’re going to need it.”
I purposely shove Mr. Doyle’s shoulder as I walk towards the door. Elizabeth plasters her back to the wall like I’m the devil and she doesn’t want to even breathe the same air as me. I can’thelp leaning into her face and fixing her with my most menacing stare. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” She slides sideways, ducking away from me, and runs to the safety of her husband’s arms. I laugh as I shove my torn, bloody knuckles in the pockets of my school trousers and saunter off shouting “fuck” repeatedly at the top of my lungs.
10
AGE 17
Opening the school app on my way home, I submit a fake absence report so they don’t issue an automatic text to Ma. There’s no way in hell I’m going to school today and leaving my sister alone. I’ll forge Ma’s signature on a note in my journal tomorrow, and I’ll make myself scarce if she returns to the house at lunchtime to check on Ash as I suspect. By the time she gets home this evening, she’ll be none the wiser.
The house is quiet when I return, and I’m guessing Ash is still sleeping. I take a long hot shower and change into a tracksuit before tending to my shredded knuckles. I’m not going to bother hiding them from Ma because it’d be impossible. When she asks, I’ll tell her I beat the crap out of that prick Cillian. She won’t be happy—she hates me fighting—but I doubt she’ll do anything about it when I tell her what he did.
Barging into Ash’s room, I brace myself for a day eating mint chocolate chip ice cream and watchingThe Notebookon repeat, grinding to an immediate halt in complete and utter shock when I find my sister passed out in her pajamas on top of her bed surrounded by a few empty tablet boxes and a half-empty bottle of vodka loosely clutched in her hand. My heart slams into myrib cage, and blood rushes to my head. The ringing in my ears is so loud it’s deafening. Pain races across my chest and I can barely breathe. I’m rooted to the spot initially, frozen with shock, until reality slaps me in the face and I move.
“No, Ash!!” I cry, rushing towards her as anxiety surges through my veins. “No, no, no.” Lifting her limp wrist, I press a trembling finger to her pulse point, but I can’t feel anything. “Fuck no. No, no, no!” Sweat beads on my brow as I shake her shoulders. “Wake up, Ash! Wake the fuck up now!” Moving my fingers to her neck, I’m relieved to feel her pulse against my clammy skin. It’s weak as fuck, but she’s still alive.
I feel like collapsing on the floor, but I can’t fall apart.
My sister needs me.
My hands are shaking as I remove my phone from my pocket and call 999. As I wait for the call to connect, I examine the tablet boxes, finding both empty. A few stray tablets are hidden in the creases of her duvet, but it looks like she’s swallowed most of them. “What the fuck were you thinking, Ash? How could you do this?” I sit on Ash’s bed, resting my back against the headrest as I wait for the call to connect.
“You’re through to Rita. Who am I speaking with?” the responder says.
“Dillon O’Donoghue.”
“What’s your emergency, Dillon, and which service do you require?”
“Ambulance. Please hurry. It’s my sister. She’s swallowed all of my mother’s sleeping pills and drank vodka.” Gently, I lift Ash, placing her head in my lap, praying like I have never prayed before in my life. I’m shaking all over as terror takes hold of every part of me. She can’t die. I won’t let her.
“What’s your location, sir?”
I rattle off our address as I place my fingers back on her neck. “Hurry, please hurry. Her pulse is really weak.”
“We’ll get an ambulance to you as soon as we can, Dillon. I’ll stay on the line until they arrive.”
“I can’t. I need to call my parents.”
She calls out my number to verify it’s correct, tells me to hang up and call my parents, confirming she will ring me back in five minutes.
I cradle Ash in my arms as I call Da. He’s the closest, and I need him. The instant he picks up, I burst into tears.
“Dillon, what’s wrong? Are you hurt or in trouble?”
“Da,” I sob, almost choking on my tears as I rock my unconscious sister in my arms. “It’s Ash. She tried to kill herself.”
“Dear God, no.” His pain is palpable.
“She’s still breathing, but her pulse is weak as shit. The ambulance is on its way,” I croak. “Call Ma and get home now.”
