I regularly take supermodels and actresses to film premieres and industry events. Never the same woman twice, and I’m never interested in dating any of them. I usually fuck them, but the sex does little for me. It’s a release and not much else. They all bore me. Every single woman I’ve ever met fails to match the perfection that is Vivien Lancaster. Every other woman is a pale imitation.
The year I turn twenty-four, I buy my first house, and we settle in L.A. to work on our next album, all of us grateful to put down some roots after a few intense years of touring.
It’s late afternoon, and we’re laying down a new track when my latest mistake sneaks up on me.
“Hey, Dil.”
Ava’s smiling face greets me when I lift my head from my guitar and find her standing at the back of the recording studio at the Capitol Building. Tension brackets my jaw as I inwardly groan. Knew it was a bad idea fucking her at the awards ceremony last month.
For the past couple of years, she’s made her attraction known though I’ve always denied her. Ash warned me not to shit where I eat. Should’ve listened to my sister instead of saying fuck it when I was locked at the awards after party and Ava propositioned me. She has been driving me nuts ever since even though I made it clear it was a one-and-done. “We’re busy,” I reply without even looking at her.
“I just need two minutes of your time. Andy said you’re on a break.”
Our sound engineer is an interfering little shit. “If this is business-related, you can talk to Ash.” I drill her with a look. “If it’s not business-related, I don’t want to hear it.”
The smile slips off her face. “It is personal, but?—”
“Leave,” I snap, the same time Ro says, “Dillon,” in his usual warning tone.
“Butt out, little bro.” I level him with a look as Con smokes a joint on the couch, the twitching of his eyes the only sign he’s paying attention. Conor and I have spent a lot of time together these past few years. He never bugs me about shit I don’t want to talk about, and there’s a certain peace when it’s just him and I together, sharing a joint, jamming, and shite talking about philosophy and spirituality.
“Please, Dillon. I just need?—”
“I’m not interested in fucking you again!” I explode. “How many fucking times do I have to say it? I told you it was one time, and I did not sign up for this clingy shit. For fuck’s sake, Ava, you’ve been around us for years. You’ve seen me screw my way through girls like they’re a dying breed. Why the fuck would you think you’re any different? You’re nothing special, you’re?—”
Tears spill out of her eyes as she runs out of the room sobbing.
“You’re the biggest asshole.” Ro shakes his head as he twirls his sticks between his fingers. “Was there a need to be so cruel?”
“Yes,” I grit out, twisting my neck from side to side to work out the kinks. “She won’t stop calling, emailing, and showing up every chance she gets. I’ve tried letting her down gently, and that didn’t work. Maybe now she’ll get the message.”
“She’s a nice girl.” Ro brings his sticks down on the cymbals, and a high-pitched crashing shimmering sound ricochets off the studio walls. “You should try dating her.”
“You know I don’t fucking date.” Setting my guitar down on the stand, I head to the fridge to grab a beer.
“I know you’re wasting your life pining after a ghost. She’s married, Dillon. You need to move on. It won’t happen unless you try.”
My hands are balled into fists as I swing around and glare at my brother. “Shut your face.”
“I thought you’d be over it by now,” he mumbles, laying his sticks down and standing. He drills me with a look I can’t decipher. “Please move on, Dil. It’s killing me seeing you like this.”
“Fuck off, Ro.” I pop the cap on my beer and knock back a mouthful. “We can’t all be serial daters.”
“At least I’m giving relationships a go. You can’t go through life with a revolving door of casual fucks.”
“Why the fuck not?”
“Because it’s making you miserable!” His nostrils flare. “Would it kill you to take Ava out to dinner? Clearly, there’s some attraction there. She’s smart, pretty, sweet. She knows you’re a jerk and somehow still wants you, and she works in the industry. You won’t find a better woman.”
“I have found better,” I growl. “I had perfection, utter perfection, and I can’t accept less. Ava is boring as fuck, and she was a shitty lay. I have zero interest in dating her. I’d rather chop my cock off than bang her again.”
A shocked gasp, followed by heart-wrenching tears, greets my words, and my stomach drops. I lift my head in time to see Ava fleeing the studio for a second time.
Fuck. I didn’t realize she’d come back, and neither did Ro or he wouldn’t have started that discussion.
Ash rushes into the room and shoves my shoulders. “What the hell is wrong with you? You just destroyed her!” Steam is practically billowing from her ears as she stands before me wearing the angriest face I’ve seen in a long time.
“I didn’t know she was there.”
