PART I
PRE-VIVIEN
1
AGE 6
“Where’s Ash?” I ask, poking my head around Mum and looking for my sister.
“She’s with Nana, love.” Mum messes my hair as she smiles at Nigel and tells him thanks.
I hold the strap of my guitar case as I squeeze past Mum out onto the step. I wave at Daddy, and he waves back. He’s leaning against the side of the car waiting for us. It’s weird that my sister and little brother aren’t in the back seat.
“I’ll see you next week, Dillon,” my guitar teacher says, leaning down and lifting his hand for a high-five.
I smack Nigel’s hand the hardest I can, grinning despite my missing front teeth. Shane keeps calling me goofy. He said Da used to call him that all the time when he was my age. I still don’t know what it means. My older brother is super annoying. Mum says it’s ’cause he’s a teenager now. But Shane’s always been annoying. Just ’cause he’s older doesn’t mean he gets to tell me what to do. He’s not my daddy.
“Good job today, Dillon.” Nigel’s smile gets bigger. “I’ll see you next week, and don’t forget to practice.”
“I won’t!” I call out, jumping off the step onto the driveway and running towards Daddy. He laughs when I charge at him, wrapping his arm around me and kissing the top of my head.
“Where is everyone?” I ask, looking up at him as he takes the case off my back. “And why aren’t you at work?” In the year since I first started my lessons, Daddy never comes to collect me because he’s always busy with the farm. It’s always Mum, Ash, and Ro.
“They’re over at Nana’s. Your mum and I wanted to talk to you alone.”
My frown is instant. “About what?”
Daddy scratches the back of his head before opening the boot and carefully putting my guitar inside. “Let’s wait until we get back to the house.”
My frown deepens.
“If the wind changes, your face will stay all grumpy like that,” Mum teases, coming up beside me.
“You always say that, and it never happens,” I remind her, climbing into the back seat while my parents get into the front.
“Come sit in between us,” Mum says, patting the empty space on the fallen log. There are a few of them on the grass around our playground. My stomach feels funny, and I rub it as I jump down off the swing.
Daddy built the playground last summer close to the house so Mum can see us and so we don’t bother Daddy when he’s working. He moved some of the cows to a new barn on the other side of the farm, and he gave me and my brothers and sister the old barn to play in. It’s still being novated, and we’re not allowed inside until it’s all clean. But Uncle Eamonn came over andhelped Daddy build our playground in the grass at the back of the barn, and it’s so cool! We have our own slides, swings, and a climbing frame, and they made a football pitch on the other side with two goals and everything! Shane and Ciarán play football for St. Anthony’s, but I don’t really care about football.
I only care about my guitar.
And Ash.
My sister is my best friend. Just don’t tell Jamie or Cillian.
“Did I do something wrong?” I peek at Mummy and Daddy, wondering if I’m in trouble again.
“No, honey.” Mum takes my hand as Daddy puts his arm around both of us.
That lump in his throat moves around before he speaks. “We wanted to talk to you about something important, and then we’re going out for pizza and ice cream.”
“I want chocolate chip!” I shout, and the pain in my tummy goes away.
Daddy chuckles. “You can have all the chocolate chip ice cream you want.”
“But what about Ash and Ro and Ciarán and Shane? They’ll be sad if they don’t get pizza and ice cream too.”
“We’re all going, Dillon.” Mum kisses my hair. “Your nana is going to drive them to the restaurant in Greystones to meet us.”
