She stops, yanking on my arm. “You’ve fantasized about me blowing you?”
“Multiple times.” I peer directly into her blue peepers. “Especially since I saw you naked. You’re exquisite, and I can’t get you out of my mind.”
She stretches up and brushes her lips against mine. It’s only fleeting, but it heats all the frozen parts inside me. “If it helps, I’ve been daydreaming about you too.”
“Is it as annoying for you as it is for me?” I ask as we resume walking.
Laughter bubbles up her throat. “Extremely. I don’t understand this”—she moves her hand between us—“like at all.”
“Makes two of us.” I shove my hands in the pocket of my coat before I’m tempted to grab her and kiss her.
“What do we do?”
I shrug. “Fuck if I know.”
We’re both quiet as we walk. “I hate him. I scrub myself raw in the shower after every time I’m with him. He literally makesmy skin crawl. I have to purposely tune out to kiss him and work extremely hard not to flinch or shy away when he touches me, which is far too often for my liking.”
I’m glad we only have audio. If I had a visual of every time he grabbed her, I’d have stormed his place and put him six feet underground by now. “It was wrong to ask you to do this.”
“No.” She pulls me over to a bench, and we sit pressed against one another through layers of warm clothes. “You were right to assign this to me. At least we’ve gotten some intel now, and I know I can get more.”
I turn to face her, loving how cute she looks tucked up in a woolly hat with flushed cheeks and a red-tipped nose. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
“I’m being careful.”
“Neither of us are being careful.” I drill her with a knowing look. Searching his bedroom when he was in the room directly across from her was reckless as fuck. “I shouldn’t have argued with my ex in public while you were there. I risked exposing you. I’m really sorry, Gia. I should have showed more restraint and put your safety above my need for revenge.”
She blinks several times, and I quirk a brow in silent question. “You’re being nice to me. I can’t decide if I like it or not.”
A genuine smile ghosts over my mouth. “If this is the benchmark for niceness, you haven’t set it very high.”
“Well, I have been hanging out with that sexist pig. Most any man would measure higher against that misogynist prick.”
“True, but I meant it. I am sorry for putting you in danger.”
She places her hand on my arm and smiles. “Don’t beat yourself up. Nothing has surfaced online, and Liam has been normal with me, so he’s not aware of our ruse. We got away with it.”
“Let’s agree not to put you in a similar position again, and that goes for you putting yourself in danger. Don’t take unnecessary risks, Gia. You’re not dying on my watch.” Even the thought of it sends shards of pain hurtling through my chest.
“I’m going nowhere, Joshua, and I’m going to find more intel. I know we need more to go after Liam, and I’m determined to get it.”
Chapter Eighteen
Gia
“Iwant to talk about Bettina.” I eyeball him so he knows he’s not getting out of this conversation.
“She is the last thing I want to talk about.” He blows on his hands and averts his gaze.
“Which is exactly why you should.” I touch his arm again. I seem to be unable to help myself. I have this irritating urge to be near him all the time. It’s only getting worse, and it pisses me off as much as it excites me. A shrink would have a field day in my head at the moment. “You need to unburden yourself, Joshua. I didn’t realize how much you’re still hurting over her until last week. You’re carrying so much anger and pain.”
“So?” He shrugs, stabbing me with a harsh look.
“Don’t.” I cup his face in my gloved hands. “Don’t put your shield back up. Talk to me.”
“Why?” His hand lands on my hip over my coat. “Why do you even care?”
I swallow a bout of nerves. If I’m asking him to be vulnerable in front of me it’s only fair I return the favor. “Because I care about you. And I hate to see you suffering. I want to help. I know it might not seem like it, but I’m a good listener, and I promise I won’t judge.”
