Sadness shrouds her beautiful face. “There was a time that would’ve made me ecstatically happy, but that time has passed.”
Remembering what my brother said in the car on the way to Cartier yesterday, about making myself vulnerable and showing her the real me, I prepare to admit some truths. “I’ve never been on a date. Never asked anyone out. You’re the first. Deep down, I was saving this for you. I don’t know the first thing about being in a relationship, but I’m willing to try for you because you mean everything to me, Lili.” Raw sincerity bleeds from my eyes and my voice as I open myself up in a way I have never opened myself up to any other woman. “I’m sorry it took me so long to get on the same page, but I’m there now.”
Her jaw momentarily trails the floor before she picks it back up. “I wish I could believe it, but I don’t believe a word that comes from your mouth anymore, Caleb.”
“Please, Lili.” I tentatively step toward her. “I know I have fucked up real bad when it comes to you, but let me make it up to you. At least let me try.”
“You can’t undo the fact you had sex with my enemy. And you’re too late, Caleb. It’s just too late. I’m worn out from the effort involved in loving you. It took too much from me, and now it’s time I put myself first.” She steps right up to me with defiance in her eyes. “You’re not good for me, and I don’t want to be an experiment. I want to be with someone who loves me for me. Someone who doesn’t deny the truth for years while screwing around with anything in a skirt. I want someone who would never hurt me like that. Someone who puts me first, and I will never come first in your life. Someone like me could never satisfy someone like you, and vice versa.”
“That isn’t true.” I snatch her hand as she moves to walk away from me. “You are all I need and want. My past, the way I’ve behaved, it was never about you. It was always about me. I never believed I was worthy of you. Of love. Of having the things my brother craved, but I was wrong. About a lot of things.”
“If you’re having some kind of epiphany, I’m glad for you because you deserve to be happy, Caleb.” She yanks her hand out of mine. “It just won’t be with me.”
Pain infiltrates every nook and cranny as I watch her walk down the hallway and out of my life. She stops with her hand curled around the handle, casting a glance back at me. “I like Seb, and I’m committing to my relationship with him. If youthinkyou love me, you won’t mess this up for me. Leave him alone, Caleb. Let me be, and maybe in time, we might be friends again, but that’s all we will ever be.” Steely determination resonates in the look she gives me. “You had your chance, and you blew it. Now you get to watch from the sidelines while I’m with someone else. Let’s see how you like it.”
Chapter Sixteen
Caleb
“How do I woo her? Tell me. You’re good at this shit,” I say to my buddy a week later when we’re out for a drink.
Cristian chuckles. “If I have to tell you, you’re going about this all wrong.”
“She won’t talk to me,” I grumble, knocking back more of my beer and avoiding looking at the woman across the way eye fucking me every time her boyfriend gets up from the table. “It’s been a week, and she’s dating that douche and avoiding me. How do I fix this? How do I get her attention and get her to agree to give us a try? How do I woo her?”
“You know who she is, Caleb. You already know how to claim her attention.” He taps my temple. “You have that knowledge up here. You just need to unlock it.”
“What if I don’t have the key?”
He chuckles. “Man, I never thought I’d see the unconquerable Caleb Accardi tied into knots over a woman. Elisa really has you in a tailspin.”
“I’ve lost my appetite, and my sleep is shot to shit. She has consumed my brain, and she’s all I think about. Even all thismafiosocrap isn’t distracting me from my Lili. I need to be withher, but she has completely shut me out. I think she blocked my number too as my text bounced back last night.”
“I know you’re hurting, but I’m proud of Elisa,” he says, earning him an elbow in the ribs.
“You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“I am on your side, but you’ve got to admit it’s poetic justice at its finest. Elisa was your little puppy dog for years, and you gave her scraps, Caleb. Fuckingscraps.”
“I know all the ways I’ve fucked up. I don’t need you to rehash it.”
“Think about how you’d feel if the shoe was on the other foot.” He arches a brow as he pulls his bottle to his lips. “Imagine her out there screwing her way through the city.”
“Do you actually want me to put a bullet through your skull?”
“The truth hurts, bruh.” He clamps a hand on my shoulder, fighting a grin. “You pushed her to her breaking point. You forced her to move on. If you want to prove you are serious, you have to show her. No matter how long it takes, you go the distance, Caleb. You prove you can be loyal and patient. Just like she’s been.” He eyeballs me with a solemn look. “Are you committed enough that you’d wait years for her like she did for you?”
“Yes,” I reply without hesitation.
He shakes his head. “You haven’t dived deep enough to answer that with complete commitment. Until you do, don’t chase after her. Give her space, and when you’re sure you are completely committed to her, and only her, when you’re prepared to wait for her, no matter how long that is, then and only then should you pursue her.” He finishes his beer and stands. “You’ll only get one shot at it. Don’t blow it.”
“What’s this about?” I ask Joshua the next day as we meet bright and early at Commission Central for an emergency meeting.
“I don’t know. Must be an update on Vegas or Florida or maybe Cruz.”
“Thanks for meeting on such short notice,” Massimo says, opening the meeting when we are all seated around the table. It’s the first time the four new dons are here. The official announcement was made recently, and now all made men in the US are aware The Commission is a ten-man fully representative board.
“I have some intel to share, but first I’d like an update on the situation in Vegas.” Massimo hands the floor to Mantegna and Agessi.
