I had shared parts of myself with him, and I know he did the same with me. Now it’s gone, and I’m grieving.
Plus, I’m worried about Arlo.
This will hit him so hard, and my heart aches for him.
When the time comes, I honestly don’t know how I’m going to break the news to him, and it will have to be me because Drew is a stranger, and we need to tread carefully when we introduce father and son.
But nothing hurts more than the message I’ve just received.
Beast wants to meet Vixen for a session.
It all clicked for me recently—all the little things my subconscious had registered. I know Drew is my beast, and I really should have figured it out sooner.
There is no man more perfect for me, and I’ve already lost him.
Perhaps it’s my punishment for the heinous deeds I’ve committed in my father’s name.
I planned to talk to Drew about it after the Arlo revelation. I didn’t think it was urgent because Drew has been canceling for weeks. I stupidly believed it was because he’d caught feelings for me too and the thought of fucking anyone else repulsed him.
He’s obviously gotten over it.
Gotten over me.
Because he’s ready to get Vixen under him again, and it crushes my heart.
I should message and tell him who I am, but that’s not what I do. I confirm I’ll meet him there, and I go to my apartment to get ready.
If this is all I get now, I want one more time with him where I know whose hands are touching my body.
It will be the last secret between us.
When we’re done, I’ll tell him I want to end our arrangement, and I’ll never step foot in that club again.
* * *
I am there before him this time, and I wonder if he’ll stand me up. As I kneel naked in front of the cross in the dark room, like he instructed in his message, I can’t work out if that will make me happy or sad.
The door clicks open behind me, and I bow my head, keeping utterly still as he walks into the room. My heart is thumping against my rib cage, and my throat is dry. My core pulses with need, and I want to feel him inside me, but now the moment is upon me, I don’t know if I can go through with it. Not when I know his identity, and it would be the ultimate deception. I’m just about to speak up when he beats me to it.
“Vixen.”
“I’m here,” I whisper.
The air distorts behind me, and butterflies swoop into my chest as my heart beats out of control.
“I shouldn’t have come,” he says in a pained tone. “I thought I could fuck my feelings away. Lose myself in you and forget about all the shit in my head, but I can’t do it. I can’t do it to her.”
My breath stutters in my throat, and I want to speak up, but the words lie idle on my tongue.
“I met someone,” he continues. “Someone who turned my world upside down. Someone who makes me feel things I have never felt before. It’s all fucked up now, and I don’t know where we stand, but I know I can’t do this. It feels like the worst betrayal, and the only hands I want on my body are hers. I’m sorry. I?—”
“Drew.” I get to my feet and turn to face his shadowy form. “It’s me.”
He sucks in a gasp. We stand facing one another for a few beats until he walks away. Pain glides between my ribs, slicing and dicing its way up to that mushy lump in my chest that used to house my heart.
I hiss and squeeze my eyes shut as the lights flip on.
“Look at me,” he commands in a booming voice.
