“And put what I’m doing on his radar? No thanks.”
Charlie’s brow puckers. “Who else could it be?”
“I don’t know, and we’re getting sidetracked. Whoever they are, they told me they knew what I was investigating and to drop it. To let her go, or I’d be sorry. I agreed and made a deal with them so they’d let me go. They offered me closure, but it was vague as fuck. I didn’t do anything obvious for months while I waited for some sign, and then I got it.”
I gulp over the lump in my throat. “I was sent coordinates to a warehouse down by the docks. Took a team in case it was another ambush.” I bark out a harsh laugh. “It was but more of the emotional kind.”
“They sent you her body,” he quietly says, and I’m grateful he said the words I couldn’t say.
“Someone had taken care to wash her and dress her in fresh clothing, and she was in an expensive casket.” My voice cracks, and I clear it as Charlie places his hand on my shoulder. “But they couldn’t erase the scars and marks covering her exposed skin, the burst blood vessels in her eyes, nor disguise how thin her hair was or hide her malnourished bones. When I removed the scarf from around her neck, I discovered bruising and finger marks, and the swelling indicated a broken hyoid bone.” I almost choke on the next words. “When I inspected the rest of her body, I found knife marks all over her chest and?—”
I pause to draw a deep breath. My hand shakes while holding my glass. I pull myself together, reinforcing the walls around my heart, and forge on. “Her vagina was hacked to pieces, her ass all cut up.”
His eyes close, and I raise a shaky hand to my mouth, swallowing more bourbon. “I’m so sorry, Drew. You shouldn’t have had to endure that pain alone.”
“I fell apart after that,” I admit in a dead tone. “Grief is too flippant a word for what I went through. I told everyone I was in London those six months because I needed to be hands-on as we set up the UK office, but it was a lie. I barely stepped foot in our new building, leaving it all to the management teams.” I hang my head, breathing deeply and feeling that pain as if it was yesterday.
Charlie squeezes my shoulder.
“I was barely functioning. I knew what it meant, and I was plagued with nightmares of the things she must have endured. I was consumed with guilt. I promised Jane I’d always protect her, and I failed. Worse than that, I betrayed her with Shandra. I fucked around with another woman while the love of my life was trafficked and abused.”
“It was one time, Drew, years after Jane had gone, and you stopped it before going all the way because of your love for Jane. That is the last thing you should feel guilty about.”
“I wasn’t exactly thinking logical thoughts back then, and I still hate myself for the way things were between Shandra and me.”
“You might have given off a few mixed signals, but you were always straight with her. You’re not to blame if she built it up to be more than it was. I still think you should have set Abby straight about that part.”
“I have never wanted to come between Abby and her friend.”
“Enough time has passed, and Shandra is dating Rick now. Demi says it’s serious.”
“I’m happy for them, and I hope it works out. Shandra deserves to be happy.”
“Rick does too. He went through hell with Rebecca.”
Rick’s ex-wife is a piece of work. Kai never thought they were right for one another, and none of us were surprised when the marriage failed.
“It’s water under the bridge now, and you should at least let Abby know the truth of what happened between you two.”
“I can’t. She’ll only ask questions about Jane.” I finish my drink and set the glass down on the coffee table.
Charlie levels me with a stern look. “I think she deserves the truth. You weren’t the only one who lost her. She was Abby’s childhood best friend.”
“How can I tell her this?” I claw my hands through my hair and lean back against the couch. “It would devastate her.”
“She will always wonder if you don’t.”
I turn my head to look at him. “I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Let Abby imagine her off happy somewhere. Married with kids and living her best life. It’s what would’ve happened if she’d never fallen for me.”
“I think Abby would still want to know. If you think she hasn’t considered the worst, you don’t know your sister.”
“Thinking and knowing are two different things.”
“At least if she knew the truth, she could process her emotions, grieve for her friend, and support you. She worries about you so much. Abby is not dumb. She knows you are hiding secrets, and she suspects they’re to do with Jane. You’re not fooling anyone.”
“I’m not arguing with you about this again. I’m not telling the others. End of.”
Air whooshes from his mouth as he raises his palms in the air. “Okay, okay. I don’t agree, but I’ll let it go.” He lowers his hands to his lap. “What happened after London?”
