I sit down and pull him into my arms. “It’s going to be okay.”
His arms wrap around me as I hug him, and I try not to squeeze too hard, but I just love him so much. I would willingly rip my heart from my chest and sacrifice my life if it meant Rodidn’t live in pain anymore. He cries in my arms, and silent tears roll down my face as I hold my little brother together.
After a while, he pulls back, and we stare at one another.
“I love you,” he says. “It will always be me and you. You get that, right?”
I nod, grabbing the box of tissues from the bedstand and handing them to him. I swipe at the dampness on my cheeks with my arm, brushing the moisture away. “Always.”
“But we have a family now, and if I’m going to do this, I need you to promise me something.”
Although I suspect what he’s going to say, I have no hesitation in agreeing. “It’s yours. Whatever you need, you’ve got it.”
“I’m going to rehab. I’m going to deal with my shit, but you need to deal with yours too. Stop shutting our brothers out. Especially Kai. Tell them everything, Zayn. All of it.” He drills me with a knowing look. “I know there is tons I don’t know. That you hide it all to protect me, but it’s got to stop now. We’re not alone anymore, and I want you to let down your walls and share the burden.” He reaches out and takes my hand. “I want you to do it for you, but if not, do it for me. Please.”
“They might kick me out.” I claw a hand through my hair.
“They won’t.” Ro seems to grow a few inches as he straightens up and pierces me with a fierce look. “No matter how bad it is, they will understand.” Steely determination ghosts over his face. “Denton and Hamilton played us for fools, Zayn. They manipulated us for their own gain. It was never to help us, and Denton, he…” His lower lip wobbles, and his voice is quieter when he adds, “He killed Mom and Dad and Pen. I haven’t wanted to accept that truth because it kills me to know I worshipped the man who took our family from us, but I feel it in here.” He slams a hand over his heart.
“We don’t know that for sure.”
“It’s not your fault, Zayn.” Ro grips my hand tighter. “None of it is our fault. Kai has helped me to see that.”
“You like him.”
“I love him. He’s my brother, our family, and he’s been so good to me, to both of us.” He peers deep into my eyes. “Lean on him, Zayn. He wants to take some of the pressure off you, and you deserve to be free of the responsibility you’ve carried for so long.”
“You’re not a responsibility, Ro. You’re my brother. I would die for you if it meant you were safe.”
Tears stab his eyes again. “You’re so much like him. I think that’s partly why you have clashed, but it’s not a bad thing. Instead of fighting him, work with him.” Ro grabs the back of my head, pressing his brow to mine. “No one can ever replace you, Zayn. Not any of our brothers. You and I will always have a special bond, and no one can take that from us, but we don’t need to fight on our own anymore. I’m tired of it and I want this.”
“What exactly are you saying?” I ask as we break apart.
“I’m going to turn my life around. I’ll go to rehab, and then I’ll stay here. Abby is enrolling me in Rydeville High, and I’m going to go there for my senior year and then go to RU. I like it here. It’s a fresh start, a clean slate.”
Though I hate bringing it up, I want to get everything out on the table. “What about Jarvis?”
His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat. “I love him,” he quietly says. “But it’s a toxic love. He’s no good for me. I saw that last night.” His eyes dart all over my face. “I didn’t want to go to that bar, and I didn’t want to inject that shit, but he coaxed me into it and then laughed when I thought I was freaking dying.” Pain flares in his eyes. “He doesn’t love me. He uses me.” He hangs his head.
“You always want to see the good in everyone, and that’s a great trait. I always see the worst, but you’re such a good person, Ro, and you shouldn’t let what’s happened change that side of your personality. There are a lot of good people in the world, and not all of them will abuse your trust.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you,” he says, lifting his chin up.
“It’s okay. I’m glad you see the truth now, and I know it must hurt, but you’re doing the right thing. You deserve someone who will burn the world down for you. Hold out for that kind of love.”
He chews on the corner of his lip. “Do you think…”
“What?” I encourage him with a smile when he trails off.
“Do you think I’m gay because of whatshedid to me? Like, did she scare me off women and I’m with guys ’cause they’re the safer option?”
Bile churns in my gut as I think of that sick bitch. “Only you can answer that question, Ro, but if you’re asking for my opinion, then no, I don’t think that’s why. Growing up, I always felt like you were gay, and don’t ask me to pinpoint a single thing because it wasn’t a single thing. It was a combination of things and a sense I had.”
“That’s similar to what Xavier said.”
“You talked to Daniels about this?” Hurt blooms in my chest, but I try to hide it.
“Don’t get upset.” Ro grips my hand again. “I only spoke to him because he’s gay, and I was confused about a few things, and he was the only one who could really relate.”
