She chews on the edge of her lip. “This is a lot to take in in one day. My emotions have veered from one extreme to the other.”
“I get that.” I clasp her hands in mine, squeezing gently. “But it doesn’t change how I feel. I want it all with you now, Stevie, but I’ll settle for moving in together.”
Her brows pinch together as she scowls at me. “You really want to do this again?”
I shrug. “Might as well get it all out on the table. You know how I feel, so I’m hoping it means you’ll consider our living arrangements more seriously when we return to Eugene.” I tuck her hair behind her ears. “I want to wake up beside you every day and go to sleep at night with you curled around my body.”
My eyes probe hers for any sign she’s relaxing her stance on the subject, but she’s giving nothing away. We had this conversation before, and it turned into a steaming argument. “We’re not going to see a huge amount of each other between college and work commitments. At least this way, it’ll make it easier to spend time together.” My fingers caress her soft cheeks. “If you need proof of my love and my intentions toward you, it doesn’t get any clearer than this. Share my life with me, Stevie. Move in with me, baby.” I press a kiss to her brow. “Please.”
Strained silence ensues as we stare at one another, and I can almost see the wheels turning in her head. Pain stabs me all over when she breaks free of my embrace and shakes her head. “This is too much, Garrick. You’re moving too fast, and I can’t think straight.”
Pain drives my next angry words. “What do you want from me then, Stevie?” My voice elevates a few notches. “One minute, you’re accusing me of lying to you and hiding secret feelings for Pepper, yet when I lay it all on the line…when I laymy hearton the line and tell you I want a future with you, you shut me down! I don’t know how to make it any clearer. I want a future with you that involves marriage and kids and growing old together. I have never been surer about anything in my life. It’s a future I want to grasp now with both hands, starting with moving in together.” I throw my hands in the air. “I really don’t get what the issue is? If this isn’t what you want from me, then what is?”
“I don’t know,” she whispers with tears streaming down her face. She swipes angrily at them before jutting her chin up. “I need space. Time to digest all this and work out how I feel.”
The last thing I want to do is give her space to talk herself out of a relationship with me. My anger instantly subsides, replaced with abject fear. “You’re killing me, sunshine.” I hear the dejection in my voice, but I won’t shield it from her. “I don’t know what else I can do. I just want to be with you. That’s it.”
“And I want to be with you.” She steps up to me, carefully circling her arms around my neck. “I do love you, Garrick.” She presses a feather-soft kiss to my lips. A sheen of tears clings to her lashes as she stares at me. “I don’t mean to confuse you, but I’m confused too. Just give me a few days to mull everything over. I promise I will give your proposal about moving in together serious consideration.”
“I need to tell Noah tomorrow if we’re in or out.” The lease on our old place is available, and Noah has asked Will and me if we want to live with him again. Cohen is, thankfully, moving into the frat house for junior year. Noah is the only one who has been in contact with him over the summer. Will and I have cut him out of our lives, and I haven’t lost any sleep over it. “He has to give the landlord an answer, and he doesn’t want to agree unless he knows Will and I are in.”
“Okay. I will let you know tomorrow.”
* * *
Stevie turned me down. Citing distractions and independence and how I need to back off because I’m scaring her with my intensity. Not going to lie. It hurt. A lot. I know she loves me. She shows me in many ways, but I feel like she’s erected some of those shields again, and she’s more cautious with her heart. She’s trying to apply the brakes when I want to go full throttle.
When I’m with her, everything is amazing, but when we’re apart, doubts creep in because I know she’s purposely creating distance between us. And that can’t be good.
Ellen chose to live with Stevie instead of Will. I knew she wouldn’t abandon her bestie even if Will’s girlfriend was open to moving in with him. So, Noah, Will, and I are back living together again, and the girls are in their apartment a few blocks away.
It’s as I predicted. We are struggling to find time to see one another between work and college, and I’m terrified she’s slipping away from me. It’s only October, a couple months into classes, but the course load is savage this year, and I’m already drowning under numerous assignments.
I’m getting ready for my gig at The End Zone Friday night when my cell vibrates with an incoming call. Pain lodges at the base of my throat when I see who the caller is. My mother hasn’t attempted to reach out to me since we had our fateful argument at the end of July. I gave her my ultimatum, like I promised Stevie I would do, and my mother reacted as expected.
I stare at my cell for a few seconds, wondering if I should pick up or not. If she’s offering an olive branch, maybe I need to hear what she has to say. So, I press accept before the ringing stops.
“Garrick.”
“Mother.”
She sniffles. “I hate this.”
“You brought it on yourself.”
“I know.”
Surprise shuttles through me, but I don’t react.
She clears her throat. “I know now I was in the wrong. You are old enough to make your own decisions, and I need to respect that.”
If I was sitting, I’d probably fall off my chair. Ivy Allen-Golding-Smith rarely apologizes, and I feel like I need to record this moment for posterity.
She coughs again. “In my defense, I have only ever had your best interests at heart, but I went about it the wrong way. For that, I am sorry, and I hope you can forgive me.”
“That depends,” I say, propping one hip against the wall as I tap out a quick text to Stevie letting her know I’ll be five minutes late picking her up.
“On what?”
