“Max.”
“Cute name for a cute little boy. He looks so much like you.”
Garrick’s shit-eating grin brings his dimples out, and I remember a time when I used to go gaga for them. “Helena says he’s my mini-me. She’s not happy he doesn’t have any of her features.”
“He’s young, and his looks could change. Or he might have her personality.”
“Let’s hope so. My wife is one of the sweetest, kindest people on the planet.”
“I always liked Helena. I was really happy for you when I read about your engagement.”
“I met Beck one time,” he says, eyeballing me.
“I discovered that when I read my husband’s book.” I didn’t ever ask Beck what happened during that meeting, and his account in the book was brief. When Beck and I reunited, we left Garrick firmly in the past.
“I read it too,” he says, surprising me. “It helped me to understand your relationship and how it had come to be, and it opened my eyes to how much you suffered.”
I smile softly at him. “It was a long time ago, and we’re all in a much better place now.”
“We are, and everything happened for a reason. We ended up with the right people.”
“We did.”
“I love my wife more than I can express, but there will always be a small part of my heart that belongs to you. I’m not telling you anything Lena doesn’t already know. She knows what I want to say to you today, and she has actively encouraged me to find a way to talk to you.”
“When I first got together with Beck, I told him a part of me would always love you, and he has never begrudged it.” I run my fingers over the tattoo. “It’s why he has no issue with the tattoo. He knows how infinite my love is for him.”
“I think everyone harbors a little love for their first loves.”
I’m not sure that’s true in every case, but it’s a nice sentiment. I swig from my water. “If you are feeling any residual guilt, Garrick, let it go. If that’s what this is about, and you need closure, take it. I didn’t blame you for anything back then, and I don’t blame you now.”
“I said terrible things to you, Stevie, and I’m so, so sorry. It was inexcusable. I was cruel, and I took my anger out on you, and you didn’t deserve any of it. I manipulated you and broke up your relationship, and I cringe when I think of the things I said to you that last day. It was unforgivable. Honestly, I don’t know how you can even bear to look at me.”
“It’s in the past, Garrick, but I do appreciate the apology.”
“I didn’t know everything you did for me until I read Beck’s book, and I was so ashamed of my behavior. No one could have done more for me.” His Adam’s apple jumps in his throat as he looks me directly in the eye. His features soften. “Thank you, Stevie. Thank you for loving me like that. Thank you for sacrificing your own happiness to be there for me. You were the one who saved me. I held on for you, and I can’t ever repay you.”
“You continue to live a full and happy life, Garrick. That’s how you repay me.”
“I just need to say one final thing, and then we’d better rejoin the party. It won’t be long before someone sends out a search party.” He looks deep into my eyes. “The accident was never your fault. I know I accused you of it, but it’s not how I feel. These things just happen. No one knows why. I can’t complain about how my life has turned out. I’m in a good place. If any part of you still feels blame, please let it go.”
“I have let it go, Garrick. Years of therapy helped me to deal with all the guilt and blame I felt.” I pat his hand. “You don’t need to worry about me. I’m good. I’m happy. I’m loved.”
“That is all I could ask for you.”
“I hope this has given you the closure you seek,” I say, capping my bottle and standing.
“It has.”
“Good.”
We move slowly side by side toward the bounce house where all the kids are now congregated. I spot our spouses chatting with a couple of other parents.
“Did you hear about Will and Ellen?” he says, switching his son to his other arm so he can push his wheelchair with his less tired arm.
“No. I haven’t spoken to Ellen in years.”
“I didn’t have anything to do with Will after Hudson told me how he treated you when I was in a coma. I just thought you might have seen the articles online.”
