“I missed you so much,” I truthfully admit. “And I’m so sorry, Garrick. If I had just accepted your gift, the accident wouldn’t have happened.”
Some of the light leaves his eyes, and I regret mentioning it. But I’m nervous, and I’m not quite sure what to say. I glance around the room, spotting none of the pictures or things I had bought him for his hospital room. I’m not surprised. Ivy probably cackled while setting them on fire.
Bitch.
“I visited you every day. Usually before work and after work. I read to you and played your favorite music, and I prayed so hard for you to wake, and now you have.”
“Remember,” he says, his eyes dancing all over my face.
My eyes pop wide. “You heard me?”
He nods and winces.
“Try not to move your head, sweetie,” the nurse calls out.
“I’m sorry you’re in pain, but I’m so glad you are awake.”
Tears fill his eyes, and his mouth opens and closes a few times. I press a kiss to his knuckles as I wait him out.
“Beck,” he rasps, and my stomach drops to my toes.
The smile fades from my face. I really don’t want to have this conversation now. It’s too soon and Garrick’s too fragile, but I can’t lie to him either. “Yes, I’m with Beck now,” I quietly say. “I didn’t mean for it to happen, but it did. But I’m still here for you, Garrick. I’m still your friend, and I still love you. That’s not going to change.”
He closes his eyes, and I feel something irreparable crack inside me.
“Hurts,” he says when he opens his eyes, and tears roll down his face.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper as tears leak from my eyes. “I waited for you, and then I was shut out, and it hurt so much. Beck was my friend for almost a year before anything else happened. He helped keep me together when I was missing you so badly and hurting a lot.”
“Mine,” he says, holding my hand tighter. “Mine,” he repeats as fire replaces the moisture in his eyes.
Fuck my life.
“I’m here for you.” I don’t think pointing out I’m not his anymore will help his recovery, so all I can do is fudge my reply.
“Need you.” His familiar eyes bore into mine.
“I’m going nowhere,” I say, praying I haven’t just lied to him.
ChapterSeventy-Six
Stevie
“Sorry, I’m late,” Hadley says, out of breath as she plops into the chair across from me in the restaurant. “This lady wanted to check out a book our system said was on the shelves, but the book fairies must have stolen it because I spent a whole freaking hour trying to find it before I had to call it quits. Then I realized it was lunch and I hadn’t left yet.”
“It’s fine,” I say, stirring the coffee in my mug. It’s my second helping and a much-needed injection of caffeine. “I’ve just been sitting here drowning in dark thoughts while I wait for you.”
“Fill me in.” She hangs her jacket on the back of the chair.
The waitress arrives, and we order salads and smoothies, waiting until she’s gone to talk.
“My life is falling apart, and I seem powerless to stop it.”
“Has Garrick asked to see you again?”
I shake my head. “Not yet, but Hudson said he doesn’t want me to see him like that again, so he’s working hard with his speech therapist these past two weeks to recover his communication skills.”
“And Beck? How are things with him?”
