“Please.” I smile at him.
He jumps up and rounds the couch. “Coming right up,” he says from behind me, leaning down to press a sweet kiss to the top of my head.
When he’s gone, I sit with my silent thoughts, acknowledging how easy it’s been to have Jared back in my life. We have settled seamlessly into a new routine. We don’t do anything exciting. Mostly we hang around our houses and the beach. Entertain our friends on occasion. Take regular weekly trips together to the grocery store. It’s all been pretty mundane, and it should be boring.
But it’s not.
I wake every day excited to see him.
This past month has given me a taste of what it would be like to be with him, and I don’t dislike it.
Not one little bit.
My mind keeps returning to Toria and his son.
It hurts.
It fucking kills.
I know I’m going to have to tell him the truth soon. I see the way he looks at me whenever he mentions his ex, which isn’t often, but I’m betting he thinks I’m being a bitch because I know I come across as disinterested and resentful. It’s not fair to him, and I know it hurts him.
I just don’t see how I can get past this. It’s not like I can force myself to not feel these things. I can’t help it.
“You look like you’re a million miles away.” Rounding the couch, he hands me a mug with my tea.
“I was.” I cup my hands around the mug, siphoning its warmth.
“Am I allowed to know what has you so lost in thought?” He reclaims his seat beside me with his coffee.
“I was just thinking about Vittoria and the baby.”
“What about them?”
“You haven’t mentioned anything in weeks.”
“Because it seems to hurt you,” he quietly says.
“It does.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Please don’t apologize. Not about that.”
“I’m actually glad you brought her up.” His jaw tightens. “We had her six-month checkup at the ob-gyn’s last week, and she threw a hissy fit after we left the building.” He places his coffee down on the table and drags a hand through his hair, emitting a heavy sigh. “I’m afraid to say this to you in case you tell me it’s not worth being my friend, but I’m afraid not to say it in case you get caught in the crossfire.”
“Just tell me,” I say before sipping my tea.
“Word has gotten out about me living in Half Moon Bay. It’s only a matter of time before they discover my house. Then I’ll have fans showing up and the odd paparazzo. We spend a lot of time together, and I want to keep you safe. From fans, the media, and especially my ex.”
“What exactly are you saying, J?”
“I’d like to hire you a bodyguard and install some security features at your house.”
“No.” I vigorously shake my head. “Absolutely no to the bodyguard. You know how much I hated them growing up.”
He leans forward, pleading with his eyes. “It wouldn’t be like that. He wouldn’t be there to spy on you, just to keep you safe. He’d be in the background, and you’d barely even know he was there.”
“I’dknow he was there. It would make me paranoid, and it feels too controlling.”
