He tweaks my nose, and I swat his hand away. “She loves fiercely too. But she has a shy side, and she struggles to open to people.” He squeezes his eyes closed for a few seconds. “I used to think it was because of the way we had to live, but I think now it’s just her personality. She’s quiet and observant most of the time, but she will stand up for herself and her beliefs when the need arises.”
His eyes turn glassy. “I miss her, and I’m so fucking worried, Ash. What has she been through? And will I even know my little sister when we get her back?”
“Let’s worry about one thing at a time. We’ll focus on getting her back, and whatever she needs then, we’ll get it for her.” I run my fingers through his hair, dragging my nails gently through the shorn side parts. “She’s lucky she has a big brother like you. She’ll be fine as long as you’re there.”
His eyes shine in gratitude, and he doesn’t need to say the words for me to hear them.
“I love you,” I say before brushing my lips against his. “What’s happened the past few days doesn’t change that.” I feel that needs to be stated. I hate seeing how lost and vulnerable he looks right now.
Carefully, he circles his arm around my shoulders. “I love you too, but I don’t know how to do this, Ash.” His voice cracks a little, along with my heart. “I don’t know what the rules are now and whether I’m still allowed to touch you.”
“Ares.” I choke out the word over the lump in my throat. I cup his face. “You need to decide whether you can do this with us, but I didn’t mean for you to feel I have pushed you away. We can still be us while you’re figuring it out, as long as you are respectful to my other relationships. I’m still here for you if you need me.”
“I know what I want, Ash.” He rests his brow against mine. “I want you.” His chest heaves, and I close my eyes, absorbing the smell and feel of him against me. “I want to make this work too. The guys are trying. I want to try too. I just don’t know if I can.” Agony is threaded through his tone, and it guts me inside.
Tears stab my eyes, but I push them back down. I refuse to cry on Christmas. “Take your time to think about it. I’m going nowhere.” I lean back and peer into his beautiful hazel eyes. They are more green than brown today, and it makes them seem more earnest somehow. “Just don’t pull any more stunts.”
“I promise I won’t.” He nuzzles his face in my hair, and we cling to one another until Jase approaches.
“We’re leaving in five,” he says, scrutinizing my face, checking to see I’m all right.
I give him a thumbs-up. “We’ll be ready.”
* * *
I have never been to the castle Jase calls home before, and it’s stunning. Mrs. Stewart gives us a quick guided tour, explaining how the castle was modelled after the original Stewart residence in Europe and that a lot of the original features have been replicated inside. She points out pictures of Stewart ancestors, hanging in frames on the walls as she speaks passionately about her husband’s background. She is more reserved when I admire the colorful paintings hanging alongside them, reluctantly admitting those are the fruits of her labor. She is very talented, and I wonder if that’s where Bree gets her creative flair from.
Anna-Lynn—Jase’s mom—has the house beautifully decorated for Christmas with candles, garnishes, and lights adorning the hallways and the rooms we pass. Traditional Christmas music follows us through whatever high-tech sound system they have installed all over the house. It’s warm, welcoming, and Christmassy in a way our home never was.
We congregate in the living room, enjoying glasses of champagne and canapés while we catch up with everyone. Chad’s mom and Jase’s mom aren’t what you’d call best friends, but they know one another because the guys have been best friends since they were little. There is no awkwardness, and the vibe is chill. It’s exactly what we all need after an extremely stressful couple of weeks.
Chad has a tearful reunion with his mom and Tessa. Carole then proceeds to hug the shit out of Jase and me, thanking us profusely for looking after her son. Tessa squeals when she discovers I’m married to her brother, taking my hand and gushing over the rings on my finger. If Carole is startled to hear I’m also married to Jase, she keeps those thoughts to herself, and I appreciate it.
Eric Stewart chats casually with everyone, pulling Jase and me aside to say we will talk privately later. He wants everyone to enjoy the day before we get into all the heavy Luminary shit. I can’t say I disagree with his logic. We could all do with a break from it today.
Dinner is an elaborate affair with a large turkey and all the trimmings. Bree came over earlier to help her mom, Carole, and Jocelyn with the prep. I would have helped out too, but I went over to my mom and Richard’s to give them their gifts and spend a little time with my baby sister. Mom was melancholy and not very talkative. Carter had called her yesterday to tell her about James and her new CEO position at Manford Media. She didn’t ask me anything, and I didn’t volunteer it. I was glad when it was time to leave.
After dinner, Jase and Chad take Tessa to the home movie room to watchThe Polar Express. Ares goes off somewhere with Baz. They were seated together at the dinner table and spent a lot of it with their heads bent together in conversation. They’re close in age and share similar personality traits, so I’m not that surprised at their burgeoning bromance. I like it for Ares. He’s seemed lost since Rocky and Shoulders died, and now with his mom overseas, he’s more than a little adrift. Baz is one of the good guys, and I would welcome it if they became friends.
While my husbands get the movie set up, Bree and I make popcorn and grab some snacks before joining them. I had promised Tessa pizza and a movie before I knew they had to be moved to a safe house, so this is the best alternative I could come up with. I doubt I can fit another morsel in my mouth after that dinner, but Tess is a growing teen, and I’m sure she can find some room.
Chad’s sister is a sweetheart and full of enthusiasm, never once complaining. She’s just happy to be here with all of us. The obvious joy on her face confirms it. She sits snuggled into her brother, whispering and giggling with him throughout the movie, and my heart swells with love watching them together. I imagine this is what Ares is like with Lili. My heart pings with sadness this time, remembering our earlier conversation.
Carter said he was making sure Lili was okay. I’m hoping this is one time he’s not lying.
When the movie ends, Tessa and Carole have to leave. Tessa sobs, clinging to her brother, and I notice Ares watching their interaction avidly. Chad and Ares have so much in common. It’s probably why they have clashed the most in the past. I’m hopeful we have turned a corner and that has changed. Only time will tell.
After Chad’s family leaves, Eric asks me, Jase, Chad, Ares, and Bree to join him and Baz in the library. “Oh my God. I feel like Belle fromBeauty and the Beast,” I say, twirling around when we enter the large space, my eyes lighting up in glee. It’s one of those old-fashioned libraries. All done in dark wood with row upon row of shelving on all sides of the room, stretching upward and touching the ceiling. A rolling ladder affixed to each wall of shelving is the only way to reach the books at the top. A large desk sits propped in front of a window facing the grounds. On each side of it is a window seat and reading nook. In the center of the room is a seating area positioned around a firepit that is encased behind glass. It must be one of those modern electrical fires that looks like a real fire, but I have never seen one that shape.
It’s to this area that Eric leads us. Baz closes and locks the door behind us as we all take seats. I’m sandwiched between Ares and Jase on one side, and heat from their bodies mixes with the heat from the fire, cocooning me in a warm bubble. I stifle a yawn and the urge to curl up on the comfy couch with two of my guys for a cuddle.
Bree tops off our flutes with more champagne while we wait for Jase’s father to speak. Expectation is rife in the air along with a hefty dose of trepidation. “We have a lot to discuss,” Eric says, sitting comfortably in a high-backed red leather chair. He has his feet crossed at the ankles, looking like the epitome of calm and relaxed. Only the slight tapping of his foot gives his anxiety away. “I asked Baz to tell me everything he knew this morning, and I have been fully briefed on everything.”
Jase explodes, and I jump up and sit on him before he can go nuclear on Baz. “Stop. Wait a second.” I wrap my arms around Jase’s neck as I look at Eric. “Are you on our side, Mr. Stewart? Do you want to stop Rhett Carter from becoming Lord of The Luminaries?”
“I am most definitely on your side, and that monster needs to be stopped before he destroys our society and the world as we know it.”
I look down at Jase. “I know you’re mad, but don’t be. Carter needs to be stopped, and Lili is out there somewhere, and we need to find her. Baz didn’t betray our confidence. He told your father what he needed to know so we could accelerate this conversation.” Pressing my mouth to his ear, I whisper, “He’s not our enemy. Please, babe, just let it go.”
