“It must have been, back in the day, but now the Luminary families are extensive, and the structure is designed in such a way that it is morally acceptable in the modern world without risking tainting the bloodlines.”
My brows knit together as I think it through.
“You look confused.”
“I am. This is why Jase is supposed to marry Julia, right?”
She nods. “The Stewarts are the Lust & Envy Luminary and the Manfords are Sloth. It is forbidden to marry within your own Luminary family, so matches are made with other eligible Luminary offspring.”
I chew on my lip as a thought occurs to me. “All of this,” I say, waving my hands around the room. “This is because I’m a Manford now, yes?”
“That is correct.”
“So why can’t I marry Jase?” It’s not like I want to get married before I’ve even turned nineteen, but if it saves him from that witch and it’s a way for us to be together, I’ll do it. It’s only a fucking piece of paper anyway. The commitment is one I’m prepared to make with or without a marriage certificate because I love him. Chad too.
They are both as vital to me as breathing.
Sympathy splays across her beautiful face. “I wish it were that simple, but it’s not. Matches are not chosen on a whim. There is a lot of thought put into them. I told you it’s about checks and balances, and it’s important to ensure no single Luminary family grows too powerful. Otherwise, the whole system would collapse. It works because power is shared equally among the four families. Matches are carefully planned to ensure this balance isn’t upset. Julia is an heir, which means she can’t marry another heir. Ideally, her match must be a second son, which Jason is.”
“Because his older brother Baz is the heir.”
“Correct.” Her proud smile is firmly back in place.
“You saidideally.” A kernel of hope flares in my chest. “So, can someone else marry her instead? Because I got to say, Mom, family dinners are going to be hell on earth if Julia marries the man I love.”
“It’s a foregone conclusion, honey. I’m sorry, but I really don’t see how Jason can avoid his fate. Their match was decided when they were kids. When both of them graduate LU, they will be married.”
A familiar pain spears me through the heart. “But Dad isn’t a Luminary, and you got to marry him. I don’t understand.”
“I rebelled, and it’s not something I’d recommend.” She wets her lips and looks down at her lap. “I got pregnant on purpose to avoid marrying the man I was supposed to marry. I was desperate for a way out.” Her lower lip trembles as she lifts her head, and I’m trying not to take this personally, but it’s hard. “Honey.” She clasps my hands in hers. “You were wanted and adored. Don’t ever doubt that.”
“But I do,” I truthfully reply. “I always seemed like an inconvenience.”
Tears pool in her eyes. “I am so sorry, Ashley. I truly, truly am. I was so busy trying to protect you from this world, doing what I needed to do to pay the price for my rebellion, that I didn’t leave enough time to parent you. I cut myself off from emotion, and in doing so, I didn’t show you affection. It’s unacceptable. I know I have failed you. I wasn’t there for you when you needed me.” Her chest heaves as she pauses to draw a breath.
She squeezes my hands, and her eyes glimmer with sincerity. “I can’t turn back the clock, but I am hoping we can start over. You’re going to need me in the months ahead, and I am here for you. Richard is packing up our house in Switzerland as we speak. We’re moving back to Lowell permanently so I can help you to adjust.”
“I would like a do-over,” I admit, staring deep into her eyes. “But there can be no more lies, Mom. I’m an adult now and you can’t shield anything from me anymore.”
“Agreed.” She hugs me.
“So back to you and Dad,” I say when we break our embrace. “Tell me the rest.”
“Your dad was best friends with your uncle James. They met when they both attended Lowell U.” She avoids eye contact as she meanders through her past, staring off into space. “My brother didn’t want me to marry my intended either, so we concocted a plan. I would get knocked up by another man, and James would negotiate for a lenient sentence.”
“What should’ve happened in that scenario?”
“Children are a gift from God. Our society still believes that, so no harm would have ever come to you if that’s what you are asking.”
I run my fingers back and forth along the curved top of the coffin, hoping the crusty dude underneath is cursing us from above for our disrespect. The more I hear about this society, the less I like it. “I wasn’t, but good to know I can cross baby-killing off the list of things I might have to do.”
“Ordinarily, I would be banished to a remote part of Europe and forced to live out a frugal, solitary life with my child, and the father would be killed.”
“Jesus.” I rub my hands down my face. What kind of a warped world is this?
“But James was the newly appointed Sloth Luminary, and he was already doing things differently, building alliances and developing his influence beyond anything known at that time. It was clear he was a force to be reckoned with. The other luminaries were much older and keen to hand the reins to their heirs, so they didn’t want to ruffle any feathers. James proposed Doug and I work as experts for the society as penance while being allowed to remain in Lowell as members of the lower echelons of our world.”
“So, you were demoted in a sense?”
