“No, you deserve so much more.”
With those hate-filled parting words, he leaves. Like a glutton for punishment, I stand in my door, watching Julia and Jase greet their new roomie. Even the sight of my archnemesis on crutches doesn’t cheer me up.
“Ouch.”
I jump, not even hearing Ares creep up behind me.
“Julia has all your men. That’s got to hurt.”
“Eat shit and die, asshole,” I say, slamming the front door shut and escaping to my room.
Thankfully, his bike is gone when I leave an hour later after finally dragging my heartsick ass in the shower. I need to get the morning-after pill because it would be just my luck to get knocked up by that fucking prick—even though he came on my tits.
When I return from the pharmacy, Bree is waiting outside my door. I appreciate she didn’t just let herself in, like everyone else does, but that doesn’t mean I want her here. “I don’t want to talk to you,” I say when I reach the top step.
“I get you’re pissed but please let me explain.” Bree has been trying to talk to me since my discovery at the frat party.
“I have no interest in whatever you have to say.” I open the door and step inside, knowing she will follow me. I figure if we’re doing this now, we might as well do it without an audience.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” she says, following me into the kitchen.
I whirl around and glare at her. “I thought you were my friend!”
“I am your friend, Ash. It killed me not telling you about our responsibility.”
“So, why didn’t you?” I fetch a glass from the overhead cupboard.
“Jase asked me not to. He wanted to tell you himself.”
“Bullshit.” I fill the glass with water and open the package from the pharmacy.
“We argued over it, and I was so close to telling you—”
“But you didn’t,” I finish for her before popping the pill and swallowing it down with water.
“I’m so incredibly, unbelievably sorry. How can I make it up to you? Just tell me, and I’ll do it.”
“You can’t.” I finish the water and put the glass in the sink. “Jase was fucking other women the whole time we were together. Every single part of our history together was a lie. You knew that, and you said nothing. You should have told me the day you came to HQ to pick me up. I reunited with him without knowing the facts. You can’t call me your friend and hide something so huge from me.”
“He wasn’t fucking other women the whole time. Our responsibilities only kick in when we come to college. He was faithful to you, Ashley, and you should know he fought against this for as long as he could.”
“Well, it wasn’t long enough.” I have considered The Luminaries put pressure on him to do this, knowing it would split us up. It’s what they wanted after all. But if that was the truth, he should have come and talked to me about it before jumping into bed with other women.
Not that it would have made a difference, so I don’t really know why it matters. It’s not like I could have given him a stamp of approval. There is no scenario where my heart could tolerate this level of constant pain.
Maybe Julia is right, and I am too weak for this world because I hate it. It sickens me, and I don’t know how I am going to do the things expected of me.
“You have had so much dumped on you these past few weeks, it’s completely understandable you are angry. We have had our whole lives to wrap our heads around this, and you’ve been thrown in at the deep end.” Tears pool in her eyes as she takes my cold hands in hers. “Please don’t shut me out. I want to be here for you. I want to prove I can be worthy of your friendship. I promise I won’t ever keep anything from you again, no matter what anyone says.”
I snatch my hands back and wrap them around myself. “It’s too late. You should have told me. You knew what we had planned. You let him have unprotected sex with me knowing he was screwing other women. How could you do that? How could you both take another choice away from me? And don’t spout that responsibility shit at me. He should have told me, and when he didn’t,youshould have. End of.”
“You’re right. I made a bad judgment call.”
“It’s more than that. You were fucking different men and women and letting me believe it was sexual freedom, but it’s the opposite. You lied to me about that too.” I rub at the tight pain spreading across my chest. “Just go, Bree. I need to be alone.”
Tears spill from the corners of her eyes. “I’ve never had a true friend like you before, Ash. I’ll give you space because I understand how badly I have let you down.” She wipes at her tears. “But I’m going nowhere, and I’ll always have your back.”
* * *
