“Go to class, Ash,” he barks, bringing the beer to his lips.
“Not without you.” I was out late at some bullshit house party Julia dragged me to last night, and I slept through my alarm. I can’t afford to miss classes and have the Sloth Luminary getting on my case, but this bullshit with Chad has gone on for two weeks, and I’m done playing nice.
“I’m not going, so you’re wasting your time.”
“Why the hell not?” Pushing his feet down, I sit on the coffee table in front of him. “I know you’re devastated, babe. I’m devastated for you too. Football was your life, but you knew you were risking everything dealing drugs on campus. I warned you this could happen, and you didn’t listen.”
He stands, steam practically billowing from his ears. “If this is your ‘I told you so’ speech, you can save your breath.”
His words anger me. I have been tiptoeing around him since he was arrested for drug possession and discharging a weapon in a public area. My parents got the charges dropped, but they couldn’t save his football dreams. Coach kicked Chad off the team, and he lost his scholarship. Jase pleaded with Coach to give him another chance, but he was adamant there was no going back. He refuses to give Chad any leeway.
I know The Luminaries could fix this. The fact they have refused to let Mom intervene, and they told Jase there was nothing more to be done, means this is deliberate. They are punishing Chad to send me a warning. I suppose I should be grateful they saved him and Ares the night of the bombing. The fact they were the only two men pulled out alive confirms it was a Luminary kill and that someone connected to me requested they be dragged out in time.
“Man the fuck up, Chad, and stop this bullshit. Drinking yourself into an early grave won’t do your mom and sister any favors. You fucked up. Now own it. Jase paid your college fees, so you still have a chance to get a degree and salvage your future. You can go into sports management or open a fitness business or go into coaching. Or you could apply to another school. If you stay clean, you can get on another football team.” It would be challenging as his rep will follow him, but I’m sure Jase could make that go away. I don’t like the thought of Chad moving to another college, but I would support him if that is what he decided to do. “There are still options, and you’re throwing it all away.”
“I don’t want to be a coach,” he roars, getting all up in my face. “I want to play ball for the Lowell Lions and progress to the NFL. And I sure as fuck don’t want my so-called best friend’s charity.”
“Maybe you should have thought about that before you made a deal with the devil. You had choices, and you chose wrong.”
“Fuck you, Ash. What the hell would you know? You have had everything handed to you on a silver platter. You don’t know what it’s like to have everything you had planned ripped out from under you.”
“I relate more than you know.” I sigh as I stand. “Your pride will be the death of you, Chad.” I grab his face. “I love you, and seeing you like this is killing me.”
He removes my hands and avoids my gaze. “You’ve got to give me time, Ash.” Defeat is etched all over his face. “My whole world has come crashing down, and this is the only way I know how to deal with it.”
“Wow, thanks for nothing.” Hurt splays across my face, and I don’t disguise it. I have done everything to support him and hearing him say that, like I mean nothing, crushes me.
“Stop being so fucking sensitive. You know I didn’t mean it like that.”
Do I? We haven’t been intimate in weeks. He hasn’t even kissed me, and he’s been virus free for over a week. All we are doing is arguing, and I hate it. Instead of leaning on me, he’s pushing me away and spewing hurtful comments. A future with him is looking less and less likely. It’s as if I don’t exist except to provide a roof over his head and beer.
Everything has turned to shit. I’m still not pregnant. I’m still on edge knowing they are watching me while I wait for them to decide which Luminary prick I’m to marry. Ares is back to his usual douchey self, but he has been quieter than usual. He’s grieving the loss of his best friends, I assume.
Both Rocky and Shoulders died in the warehouse bombing along with fifty-eight other gangsters. The Sainthood and The Bulls are only shells of their former selves, and I doubt they will ever recover from this. At least it means Ares appears to have forgotten about my debt for now. He has been winding Chad up any chance he gets, but my boyfriend doesn’t even have the energy to fight back, so Ares is quickly losing interest in both of us, which suits me just fine.
Jase has been avoiding me. He’s denying it; claiming work, family, school, and football are keeping him fully occupied. He has been visiting his friends at the hospital too. Thankfully, Nix and Creed survived their horrific car accident, but both suffered serious injuries, and they will be out of action for some time.
I get it to an extent. I am super busy too, but I’m willing to find time for him, and it doesn’t seem like he’s willing to do the same for me. I wonder if our plan even matters to him anymore. It’s not like I can get pregnant when he isn’t fucking me.
So, yeah, everything is falling apart in my world too. But you don’t see me sitting around in dirty sweats, not bothering to shower or shave, and swallowing beer for breakfast.
“I’m leaving. Are you coming or not?” I ask, already knowing what the answer will be.
“Not.” He heads toward the kitchen to grab another beer.
Emitting a frustrated scream, I turn on my heel and stomp out of the house.
* * *
“Don’t you get sick of this?” I ask Julia as we enter our third party of the night. My day started off like shit when I slept through my alarm and had another fight with Chad, and it only got progressively worse. I received a B on my cognitive psychology assignment, which almost made me cry, and now I’m subjected to another night being dragged around various frat parties by Julia as we socialize and spy on our fellow students.
“What’s to get sick of?” Stopping at a mirror in the hallway, she preens at her reflection before blowing herself a kiss. Vain bitch. “We get to party for a living. There could be worse things.” A wicked glint gleams in her eye as she turns around to face me.
“Like what?”
She tweaks my nose, and I swat her hand away.
“You’ll see.” She waggles her fingers in my face. “Go mingle.”
