He rolls his eyes, and I smile to myself as I exit his bedroom, padding quietly along the hallway and down the stairs. My smile expands as I pass the myriad of framed family photos adorning the walls. Ky teases me relentlessly because I’m always taking pictures of the kids, and we literally have thousands stored in the cloud. I want to capture every precious moment because they are growing up so fast, and I don’t want to forget a single second. In part, my obsession could be the consequence of losing my parents when I was young and hating how few captured memories there are of the first seventeen years of my life. Mom preferred to live in the moment rather than render a permanent image. I respect her for that, but it’s hard now they are gone and my memories aren’t always reliable. I think my need to document everything stems from that hole existing inside me.
“There you are,” my husband says, walking down the hallway toward me. “I was just coming to find you.” Kyler winds his arms around my waist and rests his chin on top of my head. “Is everything okay?”
I place my hands on his strong, muscular arms, savoring the warmth and solidity of his touch. “Everything is fine. I just got nostalgic looking at our pictures.”
“Do you regret selling your parents’ house?” he asks, turning me around in his arms.
I slide my arms up his chest and around his neck as his hands encircle my back. “It still makes me sad, but it was the right decision. Our family had outgrown it, and this house fits our needs much better.” I sold the house I grew up in when I was pregnant with Connor, our youngest. Every summer, we take a vacation in Ireland because it’s important to me that my kids acknowledge the Irish part of their heritage. We visit my parents’ graves, visit my grandparents in Wexford, hang out with my dad, Adam, if he makes the trip, organize a beach day at Brittas Bay, visit some of the tourist spots, and take in a couple of shows. The kids love it. Even more so the past two summers because we get to hang out with Brad and Rachel and their kids.
My bestie relocated eighteen months ago because Brad needed to be based in Ireland or the UK for business. I miss Rach something fierce, so these summer holidays are crucial. We usually spend three or four weeks here, but we stayed in Massachusetts later than usual because we wanted to be there to see Selena receive her award, and then we spent a week at our Connecticut cabin, so we are only here for ten days this time.
“You seem troubled.” His fingers tuck pieces of my hair behind my ears. “Is it Cathal’s diagnosis?”
I exhale deeply as I rest my head on my husband’s chest and hold him close. “Partly, but it’s more than that.
“Let’s sit outside and talk. I already have a bottle of wine on ice.” He runs his hand up and down my back in a soothing gesture before taking my hand and leading me outside.
After we bought this new build in County Wicklow, we hired landscape gardeners to completely redesign the large back garden. Now, we have a decked area with a large table and an abundance of comfortable seating. Colorful flowerbeds and shrubs run along the entire perimeter of the garden and are dotted throughout the lush grass. A massive playground occupies prime real estate in the middle of the space with swings, a slide, a climbing frame, and a trampoline.
One of my favorite things to do is to sit out under the stars and enjoy the peace and quiet of our surroundings. August in Ireland is warm, but it’s not warm enough to sit outside late at night without heating, so I’m glad to see my thoughtful husband has already lit the patio heaters.
I get comfortable on the couch while Ky pours two glasses of white wine and hands one to me. I snuggle into his side as I sip my drink, enjoying the companionable silence before I voice the decision I have made.
“I love you,” he says, circling his arm tighter around my shoulders. “I think I know what you need to say, and you shouldn’t be afraid to say it.” He tilts my chin up with one finger. “I’ve got your back, babe. Always. Whatever you need, you’ve got it.”
Tears pool in my eyes. Sometimes, I wonder how the hell I got so lucky to have this man in my life. “You’re still my everything, Ky. I hope you know that,” I say through blurry vision, emotion getting the better of me.
“I do, and it’s the same for me. Life may be hectic, and we may not get as much time together as we’d like, but I never doubt your love. I feel it every day, Faye.” He sweeps wispy strands of my long dark hair off my face. “I see it every time I look at our beautiful, amazing children.”
My heart swells with love, like it does anytime I think about our kids. “We did good, didn’t we?”
“We did.” He kisses me and it’s infinitely tender.
When we break our lip-lock, I tell him what’s on my mind. “I want to give up my job.”
“I know.”
I arch a brow. “You do?”
He nods before taking a drink of his wine. “I think you wanted to give it up two years ago when Mom sold the company, but you felt you’d be letting the staff down if you didn’t stay, at least while they were transitioning to new management.”
Setting my wineglass down, I press a fierce kiss to his gorgeous lips and fling my arms around his neck. “I love how well you know me. I even love that you knew it back then but didn’t say anything because you didn’t want to interfere. I love how you let me make my own choices and how eagerly you support me. I know a lot of husbands are not like that.” Jill’s estranged husband pops into my mind, but I force that asshole’s image out, not wanting to think about him when I’m sharing a moment with my man. “I feel so lucky to have you, Ky.” Tears stab my eyes again, and if Ky hadn’t had the snip last year, I’d honestly wonder if I was pregnant because I’ve been super hormonal lately. I think it might just be stress, and there isn’t anything good about that.
“Ditto, babe.” He kisses the tip of my nose. “What is your plan?”
I worry my lower lip between my teeth. “I want to stay home with the kids. They are growing up too quickly, and a lot of time, I feel like I’m squeezing them in around work, and that doesn’t sit right with me.”
“You shouldn’t feel guilty. The kids don’t feel like that. They are healthy and happy, for the most part. They aren’t neglected, and you see how they adore you. You’re a great mom, Faye. Please don’t ever doubt that.”
“God, would you stop?” I playfully swat at his chest as more tears well in my eyes. “I’m going to be bawling in five seconds.”
He puts his wineglass down and hauls me into his lap. “I know these are happy tears, but don’t cry, honey.” He swipes his thumbs under my eyes, brushing the dampness away. “I think it’s amazing you want to do this and I’m all for it, as long as it’s what’ll make you happy.”
“It is.” I chew on the inside of my mouth.
“Out with it.”
“Do you think it’s stupid to throw away my education and just give up a career I enjoy? Because I do enjoy working in human resource management. I love helping people to develop their potential, and it’s so rewarding watching people succeed and kicking ass. But I’m not enjoying working for the company any longer. I hate what they have done to the culture. How they have driven out many good people, and I fucking hate working for that asshole Mark. He’ll probably throw a party the day I resign because I know this is what he was hoping for.”
