“Kendall, you mind yourself, and trust that I’ll look after our boy.”
“Thanks, Jimmy. That means a lot to me.”
* * *
I stay parked a few blocks from my house for hours, giving in to my grief and my loss, until I’m exhausted and physically incapable of shedding any more tears. Then I call Greg and scream abuse at him down the phone.
“Are you done?” he says when I pause to draw a breath.
“Not even close,” I snarl, already conjuring up ways of ending the bastard.
“This needed to happen to ensure you followed through with it.”
“The hell it did! I was going there to break off our relationship. You didn’t have to do that! You lied to me. You’ve already reneged on our deal. How the fuck can I ever trust you?”
“You can’t. Just like I can’t trust you. That’s the only way this deal works, but I give you my word I won’t do anything else. I will stick to my end of the bargain as long as you do what you said and stay away from my son.”
“Your word means jack shit after what you’ve just done.”
“You should be thanking me!” he yells. “I made that easy on you. He hates you now, and he won’t come looking for you.”
“Don’t pretend like you were doing me any favors. You did that for you.”
He chuckles, and I have an urge to slam my face repeatedly into the wheel. “I might have done that for the entertainment value, but it definitely killed two birds with one stone. Did you see his face when you told him it was true?” His vile laughter has me reconsidering my plans, and I’m close to buying a gun and putting a bullet in his skull. “You broke his little heart, and now he’s drowning his sorrows in beer and weed, and I’m betting it won’t take him long to sink his dick into some young pussy.”
I squeeze my eyes tight as the horrid visual dances before my mind’s eye. I’m guessing that was the intent.
“Curtis got a kick out of it too.”
I’m sure he did, but I couldn’t care less about him now. “You’re a horrible human, and one day you’ll get what’s coming to you. Karma is going to bite your ass big-time.”
“Stop your sniveling, Kendall, and woman up. Quit getting on my case. Go home, pack your shit, and leave this fucking town. If there’s one thing I agree on with my son, it’s that I never want to see your face again.”
46
VANDER
Ispend the weekend in a dazed state of numbness, but it does nothing to diminish the anger searing through my veins like molten lava. The only time I sleep is when I pass out, stoned or drunk or a combination of the two. Every other time I close my eyes, all I see is my dad fucking Kendall, and I want to murder him in cold blood.
West kept me company the first night, and I threw a party last night that bled into Saturday morning. When Jimmy showed up at my door a few hours ago, I expected he was here to rip me a new one, but he said nothing about the state of the place or the stragglers snoring and leaking drool on the floor.
His only concern was me.
I couldn’t tell him. I can’t force those words from my mouth.
West wanted to know what’s wrong, and for a few seconds, I was tempted to tell him, but he’s hurting enough, and I won’t add to his pain. I won’t use him to hurther—even if she deserves it. Kendall is gone from my life, taking our secret with her.
“Thanks for your help,” I tell Hazel a few hours later when my place has been put right. I’m standing outside my studio, staring at the only canvas left intact, wondering why I am incapable of destroying it. It’s hidden behind a layer of bubble wrap and brown paper packaging because I can’t bear to look at it.
Can’t get rid of it.
Can’t tolerate looking at it either.
Painting Kendall that night was the culmination of my every fantasy come to life, and I know it’s my best work to date. I couldn’t throw it away, so now I’m putting it into storage, and maybe someday I’ll be able to uncover it and remember that night, and her, without this constant stabbing pain in my heart.
“No problem, Van. Your friend said someone will be here within the hour to remove the damaged stuff.”
Jimmy arranged for a buddy of his to collect the trashed furniture, and I’ll be sleeping on the couch from now on. No point in buying a new mattress when I’ll be leaving in five weeks, and I have already called Mom to tell her I’ll be joining her next week for Easter after all. I had planned on sticking around for the holidays and spending the summer here, to maximize time with Kendall, but now I can’t get out of Colorado Springs fast enough.
