Her features soften, her eyes blaze brightly, and her mouth curves into a smile, and I’m transfixed. She is the most beautiful woman in the whole world. When she looks at me, nothing else matters.
Only her.
Fuck it. It’s all or nothing now. I hold her hand over my heart as I lower my face to hers, leaving only a tiny gap between our mouths. Her chest visibly heaves, and a rosy hue creeps up her neck and onto her cheeks. I swear she has stopped breathing. “My heart beats only for you.” I squeeze her hand. “Do you feel that? You sustain it. You make it grow. You fill it so fully that none of the other shit in my life matters. The only thing that does is you.” I rest my brow against hers, peering deep into her eyes as I admit the ultimate truth. “I love you, and there is absolutely nothing wrong about that.”
6
KENDALL
Vander is staring at me, but his mind is gone, and I suspect he’s reliving the night of his eighteenth birthday party, like I just was.
“I love you, and there is absolutely nothing wrong about that.”His words are etched in my brain, and I think of them, and him, often. The memory provides both comfort and pain. Comfort because, when I’m at my lowest, I think of the way Vander looked at me when he admitted his feelings, and I have never felt more loved or cherished than in that moment. Pain because it can’t happen, no matter how we feel.
I might be unhappy in my relationship, but I’m still married, I’m no cheater, and I won’t disregard my wedding vows because I won’t be responsible for tearing our family apart. No one would understand, even if I did. Least of all, West, and my kids come first. That’s why I fled Vander’s house after he uttered those words, without replying for fear of saying or doing the wrong thing.
Because I was tempted.
So fucking tempted.
But my life is already complicated, and I won’t add to it.
“Vander.” Removing his hand from my face, I sidestep him, glancing over my shoulder at the door, grateful no one witnessed what just transpired between us. “You can’t get involved.”
“The hell I can’t,” he says, snapping out of his head.
He runs a hand through his hair, messing up the styling, sending waves of dark locks tumbling across his brow, and oh, how I long to touch him. I wish I knew what it feels like to thread my fingers through his hair, press my lips to every inch of his body, and let him move inside me. I subtly squeeze my thighs together as liquid lust rushes to my neglected core, reminding me I’m still a sexual being. I should be ashamed for having such thoughts, but lately, I am finding less and less reason to feel guilty for the naughty fantasies I’ve had about Vander Henley.
It should feel wrong. He’s only eighteen, and he’s my son’s best friend. So why does it always feel so right?
“Does he know?” he asks, effectively yanking me from the forbidden thoughts swirling in my head.
“Know what?” My brow scrunches in confusion.
“How we feel about one another.”
“I never told you how I feel,” I stupidly blurt because now definitely isn’t the time for this conversation.
A cocky grin spreads across his kissable mouth. “You don’t need to say it for me to know. I’m not the only one who steals sneaky looks or enjoys spending time together, and you forget I see you, Kendall.” He moves in, closing the gap I just created, taking my hands in his. “I know who you are, and I see the things even you don’t see or refuse to acknowledge.” Warmth seeps into my hands and up my arms as his callused palms cover mine. He frees one hand, lifting it to my scalp as his fingers tangle in my hair. Angling my head back, he stares at my mouth like he wants to devour it, and I’m seconds from throwing all caution to the wind and telling him to do it.
When he looks at me like this, touches me like this, all logical thought and previous convictions fly out the window.
“Our souls are carved from the same entity. You are the other piece of me. I was meant to find you, Kendall. We were always meant to be.”
I can’t contain my shocked gasp as he edges eerily close to confirming Dee’s assertion. I don’t know what is going on here, only it feels like I’m losing control. That I can’t stop whatever force is at play, no matter how hard I try.
Leaning in, he presses his mouth to my ear. His warm breath ghosts over my skin, eliciting a rake of delicious shivers. My core pulses with need, and internally, my soul screams at me to take what is mine. “It’s always just the beginning,” he whispers into my ear, quoting Marcus Aurelius again, and a powerful shudder works its way through me.
How am I expected to resist him when he quotes philosophy at me?
But resist him I must.
It doesn’t matter what he says or what Dee believes; Vander is eighteen. He’s got his whole life ahead of him, and starting something would not end well.
I’m aware I’m especially vulnerable now, but I’ve got to stay strong. “Why are you doing this now? I thought you understood. That’s why you stayed away.” He eases back, still holding my hands. I should pull away, but I don’t. I feel an inner peace whenever I’m touching him, and I cling to it like a lifeline.
“I purposely stayed away because you weren’t ready to admit the truth, but I’m done waiting, Kendall.” He drops my hands, clasping my face in his large, warm palms. “I’m going to fight for you now because you belong with me. That asshole has never appreciated you, and you’re not happy. West and Stella see it, and I see it. I was wrong to walk away, but I won’t be making that mistake again.” Steely determination washes over his face. “Leave him. Be with me. Let me love you the way you deserve to be loved.”
My jaw trails the floor as I stare at him, speechless and completely floored. This is nuts. He’s still in high school, and he has plans to go to college. Even if we could get over the other obstacles, I won’t be the reason he changes his plans and alters his future.
