“Most did.” He unloops my arm and takes my gloved hand in his when we reach the door to my favorite restaurant. “But there is some disgruntlement.”
We halt our conversation while Peter escorts us to my and Chelsea’s usual table. I introduce the men, and we place our orders. Then the waitress retreats to grab our drinks. “Tell me what’s going on,” I say, taking his coat and folding it on top of mine on the little ledge beside our table. I prop the flowers up against the window, smiling at how thoughtful my man is.
“It’s fine.” Moving his chair in closer, he circles his arm around my shoulders. “Most of the men have reacted favorably, but some of the older guys are a little surly because I’m young and I haven’t served years like they have. A few distrust Salerno and the Vegas crew, so my association with them hasn’t helped.”
“You are still you, irrespective of your DNA. They should know that, and as for your age, that will be addressed over time when you prove yourself through your actions.” I cup his gorgeous face, rubbing my fingers against the bristle I find there. “Give it time, and those concerns will go away.”
“I still feel guilty,” he admits, and my heart aches for him.
“I won’t tell you you shouldn’t because you already know that. Me saying it won’t stop the emotion if that’s how you feel.” I rub his arm through his shirt. “But Ben is right. You handing yourself on a silver platter to Saverio isn’t the solution. No one trusts he will deliver his end of the bargain. He has proven he isn’t a man whose words can be trusted. Even if you did this, there is no guarantee he will hand the Russians over. And even if he did, there is no guarantee they can provide any valuable intel or support that will help us to reclaim the territory and get rid of DeLuca for good. All it might achieve is weakening Ben’s position further.”
I don’t mention myself or the kids in this scenario because, when it came up in conversation the night the shit went down with Saverio, we had our first heated argument over it. I tried to tell him we go wherever he goes, but he wouldn’t even entertain the suggestion, citing the danger and his unwillingness to have me around Salerno and his poisonous daughter. I don’t agree, but there is no point discussing it again. It’s hypothetical at this point.
“This.” Taking my hand from his face, he brings it to his mouth, brushing his lips against my knuckles. “This is why you are so good for me.”
I arch a brow and flash him a flirtatious smile. “You are only with me for my conversational skills and advice?”
His mouth glides against mine in a fleeting kiss. “I am with you for many reasons, and you know it.” His eyes burn with lust and love and a whole myriad of emotions, and butterflies swoop into my belly as I melt into the chair, ensnared by the way he is looking at me. Every day, I pinch myself to remind myself this is real. That I have found someone who worships and adores me the same way I worship and adore him. I never thought I’d get to experience this, and it never ceases to thrill me. The fact I can feel like this, with the significant danger that surrounds us right now, is testament to how far I have come in my personal journey.
I know I couldn’t have done it without the support and love of this man. “I love you,” I say. “I love you so much, Alesso.”
His lips claim mine in a passionate kiss. “I love you too, Rena. You and the kids are my entire world. Now and always.” He threads his fingers through mine. “I hope you know that because you are it for me.”
I sense he wants to say more but is holding back, either afraid it might scare me or it’s not the right time to make such declarations.
“You are it for me too, Alesso.” I peer deep into his eyes. “And I don’t want to hold back any longer.”
Hope mingles with desire in his eyes. “What exactly are you saying?”
“I’m saying I am ready to move our relationship to the next level.” I lean into his ear, not wishing anyone to overhear us. Especially the table of bodyguards sitting behind us. “I want you to make love to me this weekend.”
He clasps my face in his hands. “You mean it?”
I can’t keep the smile off my face. “Yes, I mean it.”
At Pamela’s suggestion, we have been doing some controlled sensual touching so my body gets used to the feel of his hands and he learns exactly where and how I like to be touched. I was nervous the first time we did it, but I lit candles in the room, and I had soft music playing in the background, and Alesso relaxed me with his slow careful movements and his perfectly placed humor that ensured I didn’t get locked in my head. I ended up really enjoying it and the body-tingling orgasm he wrenched from me. We have done it a few times since, and I’m completely relaxed with him now and ready to move our relationship to the next stage.
I want to know what it feels like to have him moving inside me.
I am definitely ready.
I press my mouth to his ear again. “I want you so badly it feels like I’m in a permanent state of arousal. Only you can sate my need.”
He bundles me in his arms, and I sink into his comforting warmth. “Ditto, babe,” he murmurs, nipping my ear. “I can’t wait to make love to you.”
33
SERENA
“Fuck, Serena,” Alesso’s tone is raspy and tinged with desperate longing as he stares at me in my new expensive black-and-gold-lace underwear. Nerves prick at my skin as I push off the door to my bedroom and saunter toward him, holding my head up and praying my confidence holds. “You are really spoiling me,” he says, as I slowly approach, his eyes devouring me from head to toe. “First with dinner, and now this.”
I slaved away in the kitchen all afternoon preparing a sumptuous dinner and dessert because I want him to know how much he means to me and I want tonight to be special. “You deserve to be spoiled. You look after me so well, and now it’s my turn to look after you.” Sensual music floods the room, and the walls and ceiling are aglow with the flickering of soft candlelight. I made him stay in the living room while I got the bedroom ready—lighting candles, lining up romantic music, and tossing some rose petals on the bed. Nat has the kids until tomorrow, so we have complete privacy to make love for the first time.
“I love you.” I toy with his tie as I gently press my body against his. “Although I’m nervous, I can’t wait to feel you inside me.” I start unbuttoning his dress shirt. “This is another first,” I add, yanking his shirt from his pants and unbuckling his belt. “The first time I willingly give every part of myself to a man.” I remove his shirt and toss it aside. “You own me in all the ways a man can own a woman.” Taking his hand, I place it on the swell of my breast, over my heart. “I am yours, Alesso. You own me body, heart, and soul, and for as long as I live, I will never want to share my life with anyone but you.”
With deliberate tenderness, he hauls me into his arms and kisses me deeply and passionately. Gentle fingers run up and down my back, and it amazes me that I can bear touch on the raised skin. But we have worked on this, and I have spoken at length with Pamela on the topic, and I am not ashamed of my scars anymore.
My scars are proof of my inner strength.
