“Not much.” I dump a spoonful of sugar in my drink and stir it. “The kids are my priority right now. Romeo is still having nightmares and talking incessantly about his dad.”
“What have you told him?”
“That God needed his papa and now he’s guarding us from heaven.” I snort out a harsh laugh. “It’s a miracle I don’t choke on the words, but he can’t know the truth. At least, not until he is older.”
Sierra nods as she licks the back of her spoon. “No good will come from revealing everything now.”
“I dread the day when I have to tell him how it went down because it will shatter everything he believes he knows about his father.” I rub at my arm, right in the spot where I was shot. It still aches on odd days, especially when it rains for some weird reason. My finger glides over the puckered, indented mark on my skin that serves as a constant reminder of how close I was to death. “There’s no way that monster is in heaven. I hope he’s being tortured in the darkest, most depraved pits of hell.”
“Me too. He deserves to suffer for everything he put you through. I still can’t believe he used you as a human shield to try to get out of that hotel alive.”
After things turned to shit at the party when my father was killed, thesoldatibelonging to The Outfit were split in two—some fighting the New York families while others, who were in the know, joined forces with them. Alfredo knew his days were numbered and he tried to make his escape by using me to fend off the incoming bullets. His final act spoke volumes about the type of man he was. He died without honor, and there was never a more deserving man.
“I still can’t believe what Dad and Saskia did to you,” I say. They betrayed Sierra and Ben in the worst way, and they died for their sins.
Karma kicked butt that day.
I hated my father for many things but mostly for forcing me into marriage with his despicable best friend. And when I found out what Saskia had done to me, I turned my back on her and cut her out of my life, as much as I could.
I can’t say I have shed any tears for either of them, but I am sad Saskia’s life ended up like this.
However, they both got what was coming to them.
Silence descends as we get lost in our thoughts. I sip my coffee to ward off the full-body shiver I sense coming on. It’s the same every time I think back to that night. To how close I came to exiting this life. I shudder at the thought of my kids being left with Alfredo. If Alesso hadn’t killed my husband, that is the reality that would most likely exist. I owe him so much, and I don’t know how I will ever repay him.
“Our family is fucked up,” Sierra says, eyeing me over the rim of her mug. “But the best parts survived, and this is a new beginning. A new chapter.” She slides her hand across the table, resting it on mine. “I know it’s so much harder for you, Rena. Like I know you still haven’t told me everything, and that’s okay.” She rushes to reassure me. “But I’m here for you. I’m ready whenever you want to tell me the rest, and you will get through this. At least you are free of that asshole now. He’s dead, and he can’t hurt you anymore.”
I wish that were the truth. But I’m still trapped in a vicious cycle that began the first day he raised his hand to me. Nine years of emotional, psychological, and physical abuse tear your self-confidence to shreds, leaving you a shadow of your former self. I can’t even remember who I was before I became this shell of a person.
I wish I was free, but the truth is, I’m still a prisoner to the man who shattered my soul. The legacy he left behind can’t be undone overnight, and I have never felt more frightened, more alone, or more lost.
2
ALESSO
“Isee you’re perfecting your stalking skills,” Brando says, materializing at my side. I’m outside watching the kids play on the playground while Sierra, Serena, and Natalia—Ben’s sister—take a stroll in the near distance. Ben’s property has tons of walking trails, and the girls make the most of them.
I flip him the bird as I reluctantly drag my gaze from Serena.
“Kissed her again?” he asks, his lips curving into a smirk.
“I told you that was a onetime thing, and for the millionth time, I wish I’d never confided in you.”
Brando slaps a hand over his chest. “You wound me. Deeply.”
I grin, nudging his shoulder. “You’re such an idiot.”
“That, my friend, is the very definition of you.” He casts his glance over my head in the direction of the women. “She’s single now. Why haven’t you made a move?”
There are a bunch of reasons why I haven’t, but it’s not something I want to discuss with anyone. “It’s only been six weeks since that asshole she was married to died. Rena’s got a lot on her plate. She doesn’t need any additional complications.” As much as I’d love to complicate her life, I can see how badly she’s floundering.
“It’s Rena now, huh?” He flashes me another smirk, and I briefly consider punching him, purely to wipe it off his face.
“We’re friends.” I shrug. “That’s what her friends call her.”
“You could do the whole friends-with-benefits thing,” he adds, still wearing the smug grin. “Nothing too complicated about that.”
“Are you kidding me? Friends having sex is as complicated as it gets.” Besides, Serena is skittish as fuck, and I’ve noticed how she sometimes flinches when touched. She’s relaxed when Sierra or Natalia hugs her, but I’ve seen how jumpy she is if Ben or Leo gets close, and I have purposely kept a physical distance between us so as not to scare her.
