“You’ve royally screwed things up.” He shakes his head. “I really don’t get you. It’s like you have this self-destruct button you can’t resist pressing. She’s the best thing to ever happen to you, and you just fucked it all up. You’ll be lucky if she ever speaks to you again, let alone finishes the biography.”
“Who gives a shit about the biography, and I don’t need a lecture,Dad.” The word tastes bitter on my tongue. Maybe if I’d had a dad, or a worthy male figure in my life, I wouldn’t be such a screwup.
A waitress appears with a tray laden down with drinks. Scott hands her a wad of cash and sends her on her way. “Drink this, you stupid fucker.” He thrusts a bottle of water into my chest. I’m about to pour the contents over his smug face when he adds, “I’m trying to help you here. You need to stop snorting that shit up your nose, sober up, and then go and find your girl before it’s too late.”
Panic and fear sticks in my throat, and all my fighting instincts fade, as I realize the enormity of what I’ve just done.
I might have just lost Zeta for good.
Dropping into the seat beside Scott, I knock back three bottles of water without uttering a word. Gar is passed out on the seat across from us, and Micah has disappeared with that actress. I’m sipping coffee, deliberating how to fix this mess, when Scott decides to impart his next words of wisdom. “Did you do that deliberately to ruin things because you think you don’t deserve to be happy?”
I shrug. Truth is, I don’t really know. Since I gothistext earlier today, I’ve been on a downer. That dose of reality crashed into me, forcing me to question everything I’ve been promising Zeta, making me realize how selfish I’ve been. I’ve risked her life, and I haven’t even had the guts to fess up to her yet.
What kind of a bastard does that to the woman he loves?
Did I set out to deliberately hurt her? To say unintentional cruel things to her? To let that fucking bitch crawl all over me because I knew that would be the last straw for Zeta?
No.
I didn’t set out to do that.
But I was on edge all evening, and when Gar offered me the solution just before we went on stage, I didn’t stop to hesitate.
And that’s exactly where I went wrong.
“Boss.” Mike materializes in front of me as if from thin air. His face is a little flushed as he leans in, planting his hands on the table. “We have a bit of a problem.”
“What kind of a problem?” Goose bumps sprout on my arms as a horrible sense of foreboding creeps over me.
“I’ve lost Zeta.”
I jump up. “What do you mean you’ve lost her? I told you to stay with her no matter what. That includes me being a fucking asshole. She comes first. Always.”
“I know, and I was with her, but I think she ditched me. Or, at least, I hope she did.” Frown lines crease his brow.
“You’re not making any sense, and my patience is in limited supply.” I rub my aching head. At least the world isn’t spinning anymore.
“She locked herself into the bathroom on the ground level. I have Denver waiting downstairs for hotel security to arrive to unlock it.”
“Oh fuck.” I start running as horrific thoughts begin floating through my mind. If she’s done anything to hurt herself because of me, I’ll never forgive myself. Never.
I push past people, ignoring their cussing and shouting, slamming into the doors, and out into the hallway. I run five miles most days, and I’m quick on my feet, even in my current fucked-up state, so Mike and Scott don’t catch up to me until I’m at the elevator. The door pings open as they arrive, and we pile in. “This is all my fault.”
“Yeah, fucktard. It is.” Mike doesn’t mince his words.
“You don’t think she’d do anything to hurt herself, do you?”
“I don’t know, boss. She was very upset. Trying not to show it, but I could tell.”
I press my forehead to the wall. “I’ve messed everything up.”
Neither of them dignifies that with a response because we all know it’s the truth.
Denver, one of the new bodyguards, is waiting for us when we emerge on ground level. “I tried your cell, but the call kept dropping,” he explains to Mike. “She’s not in the bathroom, sir. It seems she climbed out the window which leads to the parking garage.”
The fact she wasn’t planning to hurt herself is of little comfort now. Because she’s out there somewhere. Alone. And that asshole could know it. I grab hold of Denver’s shoulders. “Which way to the garage?”
“Follow me.”
