22
Ryder
My heart is heavy as I exit the building where Zeta lives. Pulling the collar of my jacket up and keeping my head down low, I run across the street to where Mike has the SUV parked. I climb in the back, and he starts up the engine. “Where to, boss?”
“Home.” I stare out the window, not really seeing anything. I was all fired up on my way over to speak to her, but now I’m definitely feeling the blues.
She’s going to turn it down.
She’s built a cage around her heart, and she’s determined to keep me out.
The fact she still loves me is of no consequence if I can’t get through to her. I remove the flask from my inside jacket pocket and gulp back a few mouthfuls of vodka.
“You doing okay, Ryder?” Mike asks, glancing briefly at me through the mirror.
“She’ll never forgive me,” I murmur, keeping my eyes locked on the window as we navigate our way out of Queens.
“What’s the deal with this woman anyway?” Mike must have guessed by now she’s important to me, but he’s never asked me about her before.
I meet his gaze in the mirror. “She’s my one and only, Mike. She means the world to me.”
He nods. “I thought as much.”
We don’t talk about Zeta anymore, and that’s one of the reasons why Mike is so damned good at his job. He’s discreet, and he knows when to put a sock in it.
My inclination is to drown my sorrows in the usual way, and it’d be easy to block all my feelings out, but I can’t get despondent at the first hurdle. Nothing worth fighting for in life comes easy, and I’ve got to stop feeling sorry for myself and finally fucking do something to take back control of my life.
I pull out my cell and call up my financial guy. I don’t care that it’s almost midnight. I pay him enough to take my fucking call no matter what time of the day or night it is. He answers on the fifth ring. “Mr. Stone. What can I do you for?”
“Two things. That financial transaction I asked you to take care of a few months back, that was done, right?”
“I handled it. The debt has been cleared, and the monthly mortgage payment is being redirected into an interest-bearing account.”
“Good. There’s something I need you to do for me now, and it can’t wait.”
“Whatever you need, consider it done.”
“I need you to purchaseRockOutmagazine.”
* * *
“You’ve lost it,dude. You’ve seriously fucking lost it.” Gar looks at me like I’ve grown ten heads overnight. “Are you shitting me right now, or you actually fucking did it?”
I shrug, refilling my coffee cup. “I did it. I’m now the proud owner ofRockOutmagazine.”
“You really love this girl?” Scott inquires, looking genuinely interested as he leans his elbows on the counter in my kitchen.
“She’s the only girl I’ve ever loved. The only one I ever will.”
“So why are we only hearing about her now?” Micah asks, crossing his legs at the ankles.
“It’s complicated.” I wonder how much to say. I’m not sure how much Zeta tells people about her past, but if she’s going to live with us for the next few months, I doubt it’s something either one of us can keep hidden, so I figure I might as well set the scene. “We actually met in juvie.”
“Fuck. Me.” Gar runs a hand through his hair, shaking his head and sulking.
“What now?” I regard him warily.
“She’s sexy, fiery, smart, and a badass, and she just has to be the one woman I have zero chance of nailing.”
