“Your mom came through for you in the end,” I say, tucking her hair behind her ears.
“She did, or at least she tried. I also suspect she was the reason why that hadn’t happened on my sixteenth birthday. I guess there was still some part of her trying to protect me, even if she wasn’t coherent or sober most of the time. She told the john to get off me, and I scrambled off the bed, going to her side. Bob was trying to placate her, all the while inching toward her. Her hand was shaking, and I knew she wasn’t strong enough to fight him off, but she surprised me. When Bob lunged at her, she put up an impressive struggle. I was rooted to the spot, terrorized and incapable of moving. They fought, but she held onto the knife even as he pulled at her wrist, trying to get her to drop it. The john decided now was a great time to get the fuck out of there, and he shoved them aside in his haste to get out the door.”
Tears spill down her cheeks. “I’m not quite sure what happened, because as the asshole fled, I saw Bob’s best friend Clive lounging in the hallway, quietly watching everything go down. He’d made no secret of his desire for me, and fresh panic raced through me. His eyes were roaming my naked body with obvious intent, and I was terrified all over again. Then Mom screamed, and it was the worst sound I’d ever heard. Nothing else mattered then. I turned around and froze. Somehow, she’d lost the knife, and Bob made a grab for it as she turned toward me. I’ll never forget her screams as the knife embedded in her chest. She howled in pain, dropping to her knees, turning white in the face. Blood gushed from her chest, and I couldn’t stop screaming.”
She pauses for a few seconds, drawing deep breaths and swiping at her tears. “I was crouched over her dead body, sobbing, a couple minutes later, when the police arrived. One of the neighbors had heard my earlier screams and called the cops so Bob hadn’t had time to get out of there. He fed the cops a pack of lies, and when he told them I did it, I didn’t refute his claims because I didn’t think they’d believe me. And I thought I’d be safer in juvie.”
She looks down, sliding a hand across her bandaged belly. “But I’m not safe anywhere.” She looks up at me with forlorn eyes. “And now I’m trapped. That one lie is going to ruin my life, and I don’t see that I have any way out.”
12
Zeta
“You’ve got to fess up, Zeta,” he tells me. “Talk to your attorney, and tell her what you told me.”
“She’s useless, and I have no faith that she’s on my side. She hasn’t even bothered to update me on whether she located my aunt or not, and I’m not sure she cares enough to hear the truth.”
“What about Dr. Reynolds? Does she know the truth?”
I shake my head. “I wanted to tell her, but I wasn’t sure I could trust her. And what if I tell the truth and he gets away with it? He’s still my guardian, and I’d be sent back to him. I’d rather rot in a jail cell for the next eight years than go back to that house.”
He scrubs a hand over the thin layer of stubble on his jawline. “I guess that’s a risk, but if you tell them everything, surely they’ll investigate him, and I can’t imagine it would take much to verify he’s a pimp.” He gently cups my face. “I know it’s not my call to make, but I’d take the risk.”
“And what if I tell her and it changes nothing? I don’t want to go to jail.”
“I’m not going to let that happen.” He kisses my head again, and the gesture makes me feel so loved.
“You won’t be able to stop it.”
“I’m getting out in three months’ time, and I can help. I’ll find your aunt and get you a new attorney.”
“You probably won’t even remember me once you get a taste of freedom.”
Hurt glimmers in his eyes. “How can you say that?” He holds my face in both his hands. “Do my words mean nothing? Don’t you realize the strength of my feelings for you?”
I place my hands over his. “I can’t ask you to wait for me. You have your whole life ahead of you, and I could be stuck in prison for years. I can’t ask you to put your life on hold for me.”
He leans in closer, and his warm breath fans across my face. “You’re not asking. I’m telling you I’ll wait for you, because you’re my girl, Zeta. I love you, and I don’t want anyone else. I will do whatever is necessary to set you free. You can count on it.”
“I don’t deserve you. Not after what I’ve done.” I hang my head. “I’m just like her, aren’t I? Maybe Bob knew what he was doing, forcing me to watch.” I tap my temple. “Maybe it’s ingrained in here subliminally, and there’s nothing I can do to avoid my fate.”
“No, babe.” He shakes his head, tracing his finger across my lower lip. “You’re not your mother. It was a mistake, a bad judgment call, but your heart was in the right place. If you were just like her, you wouldn’t still be a virgin. You wouldn’t be holding out for the right person.”
His eyes drill into mine, and I get lost in the tenderness and love there. “Our environments, and our pasts, only define us, if we let them. We choose how to deal with the consequences, and you’re a fighter, a survivor, a good person, through and through. There is greatness in your future, Zeta. I truly believe that.”
“Ryder.” My voice is choked, my heart swollen with love for this amazing boy who has entered my world and turned it upside down. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and I’ve never had anyone believe in me the way you do.”
“I know the feeling.” He brings my hand up to his mouth, kissing my knuckles, and I feel it all the way to the tips of my toes. In this moment, there’s no pain, only longing.
“You’re the other half of my heart and soul, Zeta. We belong together. Of that, I’m sure.”
The biggest smile spreads across my mouth at his words. “I feel the same way. From the moment I met you, I knew you were different and that you were going to be important to me.”
“I think about you all the time,” he whispers, his eyes drifting to my lips. “I think about holding you, kissing you, touching you, loving you.” My mouth turns dry, and my eyes drift to his lips as he leans in closer until there’s barely any space between our mouths. “I think about building a life together when we’re free. You bring out the best in me, Zeta, and I don’t ever want to be without you.”
He closes the tiny distance between us, pressing his lips against mine. His kiss is soft and tender and everything I’d dreamed it would be and more. He holds my face in his hands as I tilt my neck, allowing him to deepen the kiss. Our lips glide effortlessly against one another, and my heart is fit to burst in my chest, my body coming alive under his touch.
“Ahem.” A throat clearing breaks us apart, and I know my face is flushed, my eyes swimming in love and lust. “I’m sorry, but it’s time for Ryder to leave.” Powell pats the top of my head. “You have one minute to say your final goodbyes, and then we’ll be on our way.”
