“It’s fucked up all right. Like history repeating itself. Monica wrote to him via the army, but he was overseas on a tour, and he only received her letter when he returned. She told him she’d had a baby boy and she needed help. He called her and arranged for her to come up to Boston. Once he confirmed that Cory was his, he set her up in an apartment and looked after them. He wasn’t with her, as he’d already met Clare by then, but he told her he’d support them both until Cory was eighteen.”
“That’s where they disappeared to,” I say, remembering the period when Cory was gone.
She nods. “Noel had to go away for a few weeks, and when he returned, Monica was gone. He guessed she’d returned to the old neighborhood, and he was disgusted to find she’d returned to her old lifestyle. He was in the process of seeking full custody of Cory when he … when he died,” she quietly adds.
“Fuck.” I rest my head on her shoulder, and she runs her fingers through my hair. Pain slices through me as I think about how close Cory came to getting out of there. To having a normal life.
“Noel now thinks Monica lied to your mom about who Cory’s father was and that she only handed over his contact details while you were on trial to stick the knife in further.”
“What a bitch.”
“Yep. Although, it’s possible that Brenda hadn’t told Monica the truth about your father either and it all only came out later.” Zeta shrugs, smoothing a hand up and down my back, and we don’t talk for ages.
When I lift my head, her face is bursting with concern. I kiss her cheek. “I’m okay. I mean, I don’t know what to do about Noel or my brothers, but I suppose it helps that he didn’t deliberately abandon Cory either.”
“He didn’t willingly abandon either of you, and I know enough about him to believe he would’ve taken both of you out of that situation if he’d been aware in time.”
“That does change things, but I still can’t believe he can find it in his heart to forgive me enough to want to have a relationship with me. I’m ashamed, and I don’t know if I can face him, face any of them.”
“You don’t need to make a decision on it now. Think about it. Let me know if you want to talk more about it or discuss it with your therapist. No one is rushing you. They will still be there waiting, whether it’s one month or one year from now.” She cradles my face in her hands. “And I’ll be with you, every step of the way, supporting your decision, no matter what you decide.”
42
Zeta
“Are you nervous?” I ask Ryder, turning around and sweeping my hair up into a messy pile on top of my head.
“Fucking terrified,” he admits, pulling the zipper up on my maternity dress. He plants a soft kiss to the nape of my neck, and I tingle all over.
I spin around, draping my hands on his shoulders as my hair tumbles down my back. I move as close as I can get before landing one on him. I’m twenty-eight weeks pregnant now, and my belly’s ginormous. But I can’t complain because this pregnancy has been a dream. And Ryder’s joy every step of the way has only made me love him even more. He hasn’t missed a single appointment, and he treats me like a princess. My heightened sex drive and bigger boobs have only added to his enthusiasm, and our sex life is off the charts. We still can’t get enough of one another, and I love it. I hope the fire that burns bright between us never fades.
“Your fans are going to love it, and I know you’ll be amazing.” This is Ryder’s first time on stage since the VMAs, and after the last eight months we’ve had, he’s understandably nervous.
He’s also officially unveiling the Cory Barnes Foundation for Neglected Children tonight. Luc has worked tirelessly to set it up with the support of a small administrative team, and Ryder and I have been very hands on too. Ryder appointed Luc as CEO, and he’s going to take charge of the charity because Ryder is busy with the label and the band is still promoting Torment’s new album. The guys all agreed to postpone the tour, and now that they’re not beholden to any record label, they can make that call and not have someone screaming in their ear. Linda, Scott’s wife, is pregnant with their second child, and neither Ryder nor Scott wanted to be away touring when both babies are so small.
Luc moved into his own apartment in Greenwich Village the same time we moved into our new brownstone. He’s only a few blocks away, which means we still see a lot of each other. He’s been quietly dating one of the girls working for Torment’s label for the last few weeks, and every time I see him, he has the biggest smile on his face. It warms my heart to know everyone is in such a good place.
Ryder’s doing great, but he hasn’t resolved anything with Noel or met his brothers yet although he did write back to them, and they are sharing regular messages and emails now. The Ren issue is still a noose around our neck, too, but I refuse to think any negative thoughts tonight, because this is a time to celebrate.
The band booked a small, exclusive venue for the show tonight. There were only one thousand tickets available, and they raffled two hundred tickets that were given out to members of their fan club. The other tickets sold at premium value with all proceeds going to the charity. The Cory Barnes Foundation will now be the sole beneficiary of the funds raised from the annual Torment charity concert too.
Fans line all roads leading to the venue, and a couple of press helicopters hovers in the skies overhead when we arrive. My eardrums protest loudly when Ryder helps me out of the limo to deafening roars and excited screams and shouts. The band members wave to their fans and pose for a few quick pictures before they’re ushered inside.
I make my way to the private area secured for family and friends with Linda, Kayla, Mike, and a couple of other bodyguards. Savage Mania is playing a few numbers before Torment headlines, and it’s their first official gig since they signed with the label. The guys pull off an incredible opener, and the enthusiastic crowd gives them a standing ovation when they finish.
My heart almost bursts with pride when they play the song I wrote for them, and it’s definitely a moment I will cherish for the rest of my life. I’m working with them and another new sign-up on another couple of songs.
It seems Ryder’s determined to make all my dreams come true.
As if I needed additional reasons to love my husband.
The audience almost lifts the roof off when Torment appears, and I’m screaming and shouting along with them. Watching Ryder on stage is hypnotizing. It’s so easy to tell he’s in his happy place when he’s up there, serenading the crowd with his sultry voice, heartfelt lyrics, and flawless guitar playing. The songs from the new album are a big hit, and I especially love “Rewrite Our History,” the song he wrote and dedicated to me. They play a pared-down acoustic version of it tonight with Ryder on guitar and Scott on the drums, and there isn’t a dry eye in the house.
After the show is finished, I rush backstage to congratulate my husband. He swings me up into his arms—no easy feat with the extra weight I’m carrying—kissing me all over my face. His joy is contagious, and I’m grinning ear to ear when he finally puts me back down. They crack open a few bottles of bubbly, sharing the celebration with Savage Mania. I nudge Ryder in the ribs when I spot him glaring at Gus. “Stop that!”
“Don’t worry, baby,” he purrs, wrapping his arms around my belly from behind and whispering in my ear. “I love winding him up any chance I get.”
“You’re terrible.” I roll my eyes, but I’m grinning. Gus raises his glass to me from the other side of the room, waiting until Ryder looks up before blowing me a kiss. I crack up laughing. “I think you might have met your match with Gus.”
