I thought it was bad when he wasn’t aware of my feelings.
But that pales in comparison to this.
Knowing he knows and he doesn’t want me is a million times worse, and I want to die. I want to lock myself in my room, curl into a ball, and unburden myself on my already sodden pillow.
He turns around. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but this isn’t who you are.” Leo’s voice is softer as he tips my face up with a finger under my chin. “You’re exquisite,dolcezza. So special. Kind, smart, beautiful, and compassionate. And you should remain that way.”
Anger blooms inside me, and I see red. I can’t appreciate his compliments because I know they aren’t true—he’s just trying to let me down gently. He must think I’m so naïve if he expects me to soften with those words. “You’re a hypocrite!” I yell. “Mateo too. Both of you screw anything that moves, and I’m getting lectured because I dared to kiss a boy for the first time in my life and I stupidly threw myself at you!” I push him away, growling when he doesn’t budge. He’s like an unmovable wall of muscle, standing there with his arms crossed over his chest and his sad, slightly puzzled expression.
“You know this is the way things are. The way they have to be.”
His calm reply only fuels the rage coursing through my veins. “I fucking hate it!” I roar. “And I’m not going to lie down and accept it any longer.” Steely determination infiltrates my blood stream. I don’t care how I achieve it, but Iamgoing to get out of this arranged marriage. Papa will be disappointed if I disgrace him, but I have gone along with this charade for long enough. My entire life is at stake, and I can’t sit around and do nothing any longer.
“Natalia,” Leo growls, making a grab for me when I whirl around and move to walk off. “Don’t do anything rash. I’m begging you. You’ll only make things worse.”
“Fuck off, Leo,” I hiss, smothering a laugh when his eyes widen in shock. “This doesn’t concern you. You have made your feelings perfectly clear. I know exactly where I stand now.”
“Dolcezza. Please.” Leo reels me into his body so my back is pressed up against his warm chest. “I don’t want to see you get hurt. You know what they do to women who don’t cooperate.”
“I don’t care. I would rather die than marry Carlo Greco.”
“I’ll talk to him,” he offers. “I’ll warn him to back off.”
I bark out a laugh. “You do that, and he’ll only be more determined.” I shuck out of his hold and glare at him. “Leave it alone, Leo. I’m not your responsibility. I’m not Giuliana. Your responsibility is to your actual sister, not me. I don’t need you or Mateo interfering any more than you already have.” Without waiting to see how he replies, I race back along the path toward the house, ready to lick my wounds in the privacy of my bedroom.
5
Natalia
“Ican’t believe you stripped in front of him,” Frankie says as we collect our things from our lockers at the end of the school day.
“Don’t remind me. It’s humiliating enough without you repeating it.” I filled Frankie in, on what went down with Leo in the orchard yesterday, at lunchtime.
“I want to kick him in the junk for disregarding your feelings. Mateo too for terrorizing poor Vaughan. But maybe Leowastrying to protect you? He just went about it all wrong.”
“I threw myself at him, and he rejected me, Frankie! I don’t care whether he was trying to protect me or not. It’s the most humiliating experience of my life.” I slam my locker closed with more force than necessary. “A man like Leonardo Messina never turns down sex. I have to face the truth. He doesn’t see me like that. I will forever be Mateo’s sweet little sister in his eyes.”
“He’s an idiot for turning you down, and I’m not buying his reaction. You’re a fucking goddess, Nat. No sane man could resist you.” There is a brief pregnant pause. “At least you got some chocolates out of it.”
Leo left a box of my favorite chocolates outside my door at some point yesterday. I only discovered them when I left my room for dinner. I know he had to go out of his way to pick them up from the chocolaterie in White Plains, and ordinarily, that would make me happy, but I’m too butthurt over his dismissal to swoon over the gesture. “I’d rather have had the man,” I admit, because I’m still infatuated with him even though it’s utterly pointless. “Whatever way you look at it, he still rejected me. Trying to sugarcoat it doesn’t change that fact.” Though stuffing my face with chocolate as I silently berated myself for my idiocy did help a little.
“What are you going to do?” she asks, zipping her book bag closed.
I shrug as we join the crowd in the hallway heading toward the doors. “Nothing. If flinging myself at him didn’t work, nothing will.”
“He needs to see you as a desirable woman, not a little girl.” She ponders, rubbing her chin in contemplation as we push out through the double doors. “I know!” She grabs my arm, pulling me aside at the top of the steps. “Are your parents still going away this weekend, and is Mateo still throwing a party?”
I nod. “As far as I know, it’s still on.” It’s not often our parents are both away, so Mateo plans to make the most of it. The weather forecast is predicting high temps this weekend, and it will be the last hurrah before the colder autumn weather sets in.
“That’s it.” Her eyes glint with excitement. “You are going to buy the sexiest two-piece, look hot as hell, and flirt your ass off with guys in front of him. If that doesn’t get a reaction, nothing will.”
“Mateo will never permit it.”
She snorts. “Mateo will be drunk and fucking some piece of ass in the pool house for most of the party. A leopard doesn’t change his spots. We just need to time it to perfection. We will wait until your brother has disappeared and then make our grand entrance.”
Smiling, I loop my arm through hers, tugging her down the steps. “I love the way your mind works. But I’m only doing it if you’re getting a sexy bikini and flirting too. We can shop online after we get our homework done.” Frankie is staying at my place tonight because we have a project to finish that we are working on together.
“Girl, I’m already sold.” Frankie winks.
