I look away before I betray any hint of emotion in front of my fiancé.
“Thank you, Natalia.” Gino takes my hand, threading his fingers in mine. “I knew you were the perfect choice.” We start walking again, and he keeps his hand tucked in mine.
In the distance, I spot Ben carrying Joshua on his shoulders while he holds Caleb’s hand, and I smile. He is good with children. Someday, he is going to make an amazing father.
“Now, let’s discuss a date, shall we?” Gino says, dragging me back into the moment.
* * *
LEO
I stareat the walls in my living room, bristling with rage and years of pent-up frustration. Moving boxes are stacked to one side, but I can’t summon the energy to finish loading up my stuff. Ben and I are moving into a new luxury apartment in Manhattan midweek, and I should be excited to leave this shithole behind. However, I can’t generate any happy thoughts or derive pleasure from anything anymore. Not now I know Natalia is marrying Gino Accardi in five weeks’ time.
I want to punch Don Accardi in the face every time I think about him putting his hands and his mouth on mydolcezza.
I want to knee him in the balls for forcing her to defer NYU.
And I want to wring his neck for the simple fact he gets to live the rest of his life with her by his side.
I swig from my bottle of beer, seething inside. Why didn’t I ask her to run away with me three years ago? Why has it taken me so long to get my head out of my ass? Why the fuck did I care about this career or pissing the boss off instead of putting her first? Now, I have lost her forever, and I have no one to blame but myself.
I know she thinks I am screwing any female with a pulse, but that is far from the truth. I have been with two women in the past three years, and both were quick fucks from behind while I closed my eyes and imagined it was mydolcezza. I know Ben wants to ask what the fuck is wrong with me. Women throw themselves at us wherever we go, but I can’t move on.
Even if I wanted to, I can’t.
Natalia is all I see when I close my eyes at night and the first image in my mind’s eye when I open them in the morning. Whenever something happens, she is the first person I want to tell. Every time I’m at a family event or out with my friends, it’s always her I wish was by my side.
Cutting her out of my life was like hacking off a limb or removing a vital organ. Some days, I can hardly breathe from the pain in my chest.
I have tried to keep my distance because looking at her reminds me of everything I have lost.
I shouldn’t have approached her at the house last week, but I was desperate when Ben told me the news. Watching Gino kiss her destroyed me. I don’t know how I’m expected to suffer this every day for the rest of my life. I can only imagine the pain and anguish I caused her when I pulled that stunt with Mandy in front of her. I’m sickened at myself, all over again, and regretting all the ways I fucked things up with Nat.
A knock at my door yanks me from my depressive inner monologue. It’s late Saturday night, and I’m not expecting anyone. I know it’s not Ben because he’s over at Monica’s place tonight. At least one of us is getting laid. Let’s just say me and my hand are intimately acquainted with one another these days.
Getting to my feet, I saunter to the door, my bad mood clinging to my skin like a second layer. My eyes widen as I peek through the peephole, startled to find Natalia there. I swing the door open. “What are you doing here?” I ask, peering out into the hallway, looking for her bodyguard. Brando was reassigned a year ago. He’s got too much potential to let him stay on her protection detail forever, so anothersoldatoprotects Nat now. “Where’s Ciro?”
“I ditched the grumpy fuck,” she says, barging past me into my apartment. “And I purposely left my cell phone at home and left my car at the train station.”
“Why the fuck would you do that?” I stare at her like she’s insane. She is the daughter of Don Mazzone and engaged to Don Accardi. That places a big target on her head. “You can’t just go off the grid and tell no one, Nat! It’s not safe. And please tell me you didn’t take a train all alone at this time of night?”
She smirks, and I equally want to throttle her and kiss her. “I took the train and then the subway.” I narrow my eyes at her, and she has the audacity to laugh. “I don’t want anyone knowing I’m here, but I did send Ben a text from the station, telling him I was in safe hands and not to worry.” She plucks the beer from my fingers, bringing it to her lips and drinking from it. “Got any wine?” she asks, making a face as she hands my beer back to me. “That tastes like ass.”
I stare at her, dumbfounded. What is actually going on here? She slides her light trench coat off, and my mouth waters at the tight-fitting red dress clinging to her enviable curves. My dick instantly salutes her, like it’s woken from a three-year hibernation. “What are you doing?” I ask, trailing her into the kitchen as I finally find my voice.
“Looking for a wineglass,” she says, leaving the duh off the end.
“I mean why are you here?” I rub the back of my neck, torn between dragging her into my arms and tossing her into a cab and sending her tempting ass back home.
“Grab me a glass, and I’ll tell you.” She removes a chilled bottle of wine from the refrigerator while I take a glass out of the overhead cabinet. “Expecting company?” she asks, closing the fridge door with her hip.
“No.” I take the bottle from her and place it on the counter beside the glass.
“Why do you have an unopened bottle of wine in your refrigerator then?”
“Mom was over during the week, helping me pack,” I explain as I open the wine and pour her a glass, against my better judgment. I still have no clue why she is here. If anyone found out she was alone in my apartment with me, there would be hell to pay. The engagement announcement has been made, and everyone knows who she is promised to. “I bought that for her, but she didn’t end up drinking it.” I hand her the glass. “Satisfied?”
“Not yet,” she murmurs, prancing past me, sashaying her hips, and shaking that gorgeous ass in my face.
