I hold her tighter, letting my tears drip down my face as we both succumb to our grief. She kicks off her shoes and moves her knees up closer, snuggling into me like she wishes she could dive inside me.
I don’t know how long we sit there like that, clinging to one another and crying, but eventually our tears dry up, and she moves her head, setting it on my chest. One of her hands grips my sodden shirt, and she holds me close. I rest my chin on her head, running my fingers through her hair, and this is the first moment all week where I’m not in agonizing pain. Her warmth and her touch comfort me in a way no one else can.
“I told him I hated him,” she says, lifting her tear-stained face to mine. “I slapped him.” Her lower lip wobbles, and tears pool in her eyes again. “I was so angry at him. At you. I took it all out on him and he died thinking I hated him. If I had known those were the last things I would ever say to my brother—the last interaction we would ever have—I would have taken every hateful word back.” Wracking sobs heave from her chest, and a tight pain slices across my chest, knowing I’m the cause of this.
“He knew you loved him,dolcezza. He never doubted that. And he loved you so fucking much.” I hold her tight to my chest, and her body shakes against me. “I am so sorry for the things I said and the things I did. I hate myself for it. I see the look on your face every night when I close my eyes.” I deserve to be haunted by her heartbreak every night for the rest of my life.
“Did you fuck her?” she whispers, sniffling.
I clasp her face, peering deep into her bloodshot eyes. “No. What I did was for show. Once you left, I got rid of her.” Mandy wasnothappy about that. Though it didn’t take her long to find a willing body.
“It killed me,” she says, tearing another strip off my heart. “I don’t know if I can ever forgive you for it, but I can’t think about that now.” More tears cascade down her face. “He’s gone, Leo. Mateo is gone. What am I going to do without him?” Agonizing howls filter through the eerie quietness of my apartment, and I feel her pain as acutely as my own. I wish I could take it all. To free her from the devastation, but I can’t. I can’t even tell her I’ll be here for her because I won’t be. I can’t be. Neither of us is strong enough to resist temptation, so returning to just being friends won’t cut it anymore.
Not when our hearts are fully invested.
“I don’t know, Nat,” I truthfully reply, swiping at the tears coursing down her face. “I don’t know how I’m going to survive without him either.” Tears fill my eyes, and I let them fall. I’m not ashamed for her to see.
“It’s all so pointless,” she says in a soft, husky voice that is unquestionably seductive, but I know it’s not on purpose.
The way Natalia speaks and moves oozes sexuality without any conscious effort on her part.
“Why are we denying what we want when we could both be dead tomorrow?” Her eyes pin mine in place, and in this moment, I can’t think of a single reason why we shouldn’t just give in to our desires. “I need to forget. Just for a little while,” she says, brushing her mouth against mine, making her intent clear. “I think you do too.”
25
Leo
My hands grip her head through her hair, and I pull her face closer. “Dolcezza,” I croak. “I love you,” I add before crushing my mouth to hers.
God,this.
This is what I’ve been missing these past seven weeks.
Natalia breathes life into my body with every sweep of her lips and every stroke of her tongue, and I forget everything except the way she feels pressed up against me and the taste of her on my tongue. Our kissing quickly heats, and she moves so she’s straddling me, her softness pressing against where I’m so fucking hard for her. Her hands creep up under my shirt, and I grab fistfuls of her ass, grinding her against me as I cant my hips upward.
She moans into my mouth, and precum leaks from my cock. Gathering her hair around my fist, I gently tug her head back, cautioning my inner beast to go slow. She is inexperienced, and she deserves the softest touch. My lips suction to her neck as she arches it back, granting me full access. I graze my mouth up and down the column of her elegant neck as she rocks on top of me. My cock jerks behind my sweats, and the need to claim her is almost too much to bear. I push her black blouse off one shoulder, trailing my lips across her silky flesh, somehow managing to resist the urge to bite her skin and leave my mark.
“Leo,” she pants, moaning as she sways on top of me. “I need more.”
Fuck it. “Wrap your legs around my waist and your arms around my neck,” I command in a gruff tone, struggling to leash my arousal. My lust for her is at an all-time high, and though I know this is dangerous, I don’t fucking care.
She wraps her arms and legs around me, and I carry her out of the room and into my bedroom, carefully laying her down on the bed before I crawl over her, keeping myself propped up by my hands so I’m not smothering her. “What do you want?” I ask, brushing stray strands of hair off her face.
“I want you to touch me. I need it.”
“Here?” I ask, gently placing my hand on her right breast, through her flimsy blouse.
She nods before taking my hand and moving it lower. “And here.” She places my hand over her pussy through her black pencil skirt.
Blood rushes to my cock, and I’m straining against the front of my sweats. My dick is dying to drive into her virgin pussy and take what has always been mine.
Somehow, I find and cling to restraint. “Are you sure?” I sit back on my heels. “If we do this, there is only one way it ends.”
“I know, and I want it. I want you.”
“Sit up,” I instruct, whipping my shirt off. I toss it on the floor, leaving me in only my sweats. Her eyes trail over my chest and down to my abs and lower, and I’m burning up under her hungry gaze. “Your turn,” I say, my voice heavy with desire.
She unbuttons her blouse with shaky fingers while maintaining eye contact with me. Flinging her gorgeous hair over her shoulder, she slips the blouse off, letting it fall beside my shirt on the floor. Her chest heaves, her nipples trying to poke holes in her flimsy red lace bra. Holding my gaze, she unclips her bra, letting it fall aside.
