“Love is worth the risk,” she says. “I wish I could tell you you don’t have to marry that monster. I wish there was a way your papa could extract you from the contract, but there isn’t,tesorino.”
“I hate him, Mama,” I whisper, leaning into her touch. “It won’t be like the marriage you have with Papa. He wants to hurt me. To own me and do what he wants to me.”
“He won’t get away with mistreating you, Natalia. That is not tolerated. Wives are revered. Your father is raising his concerns with Maximo Greco, and he has already agreed that, when you marry Carlo, your bodyguard will go with you.”
“What?!” Horror engulfs me.
“Not Leo.” Mama is quick to reassure me. “I would never inflict such pain on my daughter, and he’s too valuable to Papa. Brando will go with you. He will help to keep you safe, and I know Leo and Mateo are teaching you self-defense and how to use a gun. It will be up to you to keep yourself protected in that man’s house, and I know you can do it. You’re a fighter, Natalia. Carlo will not break your spirit because you won’t let him.”
“I will try,” I say, but I’m not confident in my ability to tame the monster.
“Don’t make my mistakes, Natalia,” she whispers, struggling to keep her eyes open. “Don’t miss out on the opportunity to experience true love and passion.”
She cannot be saying what I think she’s saying. “Mama? You don’t mean…”
“Let yourself love him, Natalia, for however long you have together. Let Leonardo’s love strengthen you before you are forced to give it all up to fulfill your duty. Be selfish now. Take something for yourself and be happy. On dark days, let the memory of his love bolster you and give you the courage to keep fighting.”
I’m so stunned I can’t speak for several seconds. This is not what Mama has said the previous times we spoke about my feelings for this other man. “Why are you saying this now when before you spoke to me about accepting my fate and making peace with it?”
“Life is too short to have regrets, and wasted opportunities will haunt you for the rest of your life. I wasn’t brave enough or mature enough to do what I should have done, but you are, Natalia.”
“What if we get caught?” I whisper.
“Don’t get caught.” She waggles her brows.
I bark out a laugh. “You say that like it’s easy.”
“It’s not, but you are both clever, and he’s your bodyguard now. He has an excuse to be around you.” A buoyant smile graces her elegant mouth.
“Did you have something to do with that?” I inquire.
Her eyes light up. “I might have suggested Leo to your papa.”
“Mama.” I’m overwhelmed with love for my mother, and resenting God all over again for doing this to her. For taking her from us. Gently, I circle my arms around her neck. “I am so grateful to have you as my mother. I hope one day I can be as amazing a woman as you are. You will always be my greatest inspiration.”
“You will always be my greatest achievement.” She presses frail lips to my brow as a yawn slips from her mouth. Mama spends a lot of time sleeping these days. “I am so proud of you, Natalia, and wherever I am, I will always be watching over you.”
“I love you, Mama,” I choke out over a sob.
“I love you too.” She tilts my chin up. “Be happy,cuore mio, but be careful too. Only take measured risks, and caution your heart to accept that it is only temporary. Make every moment count, and you will have those memories with you forever.”
16
Leo
Mama Rosa held on for another month before passing away in her sleep, two nights ago, surrounded by her family. It’s three weeks until Christmas, and already the ground outside the Mazzone mansion is coated in a fine layer of snow. Soft white flakes rain down on the guests as they arrive from the church and graveyard to pay their last respects to a woman who was a pillar of our community and the heart of this family.
“Poor Natalia,” my mama says, coming up alongside me, as I stand by the long buffet table, laden with a glorious feast of Italian food.
Mydolcezzais never far from my sight. Watching her fall apart in Mateo’s arms at the graveyard was almost too much to bear. The need to comfort her almost overwhelming.
“Losing a parent is never easy, especially when you are on the cusp of major life changes.”
“They were as close as you and Giuliana,” I say, watching Nat as she stares off into space on the couch, situated between her brother and my little sister. Giuliana is snuggled into her side with her arms wrapped around Nat, looking sadder than I have ever seen her.
Angelo is in front of the fireplace, the glow of the roaring fire surrounding him like a fiery halo, as he speaks with Agosti and Maximo Greco. Carlo skulks in a corner with two of hissoldati, his eyes burning a hole in the side of my head. Either I’m being too obvious or he knows something. Neither thought is comforting, so I tear my gaze from Natalia and focus on my mother.
“I think it’s why this is hitting your sister so hard.” Mom absently rubs my arm while watching her only daughter try to comfort the love of my life.
