I wrap myself around him, placing my head on his chest, welcoming the steady vibration of his heartbeat. “Anything,” I agree, my voice muffled against his chest. He smells so divine up close. All citrusy and vibrant and thrumming with life.
He lifts my head up to his. “No more flirting with other men or trying to lose your virginity before your marriage. Please, Nat,” he whispers, peering deep into my eyes. “I am begging you to give up this quest because it is not the solution.”
“Then what is? I don’t want to marry him, Leo. He gives me the creeps.”
“I will talk to Mateo and see if he can talk to Angelo again.”
My eyes pop wide. “Mateo has spoken to Angelo about my marriage contract?”
He nods. “On several occasions.”
“Why? He is all for the traditions and constantly telling me I need to get with the program.”
“It’s true he agrees with contracted marriage, but he doesn’t want Carlo for you either. I think, deep down, Angelo probably doesn’t want him for you too. But his hands are tied. It’s a binding contract, and he can’t afford to instigate a war.”
“So, he’d rather sell his daughter to a monster to keep the peace.”
“It sickens me, but there is nothing anyone can do.”
“What if he was dead?” I blurt, articulating something I have thought about in recent weeks. “He can’t marry me if he’s six feet under.”
“Natalia.” Leo growls, glaring at me. “Do not even say what I think you’re saying. He is the son of Don Greco. No one would get away with killing him and live to see another day.”
“I want out of it desperately, Leo.”
“I know.” Tipping my head up, he dusts kisses all over my face, and I fist his shirt, drawing him closer, inhaling his scent, and siphoning his warmth and his closeness, cursing the fact I was born into the criminal underworld and I’m not free to love this man the way I want to love him.
A bloody pool forms where his injury is, and I pull back, remorseful for hurting him. “You’re bleeding.”
He looks down and curses.
“I didn’t thank you,” I say, cupping his cheek. “You saved me yesterday. You got shot protecting me. I will never forget that.”
“I would take a thousand bullets for you,dolcezza, and you never need to thank me. Protecting you is the one thing I am permitted to do. And I am going to protect you until the day I die, even if I have to cherish you from the shadows.”
A strangled sob bubbles up my throat, and tears pool in my eyes. I open my mouth to tell him I love him again, but he shakes his head, placing his hand over my mouth. “Don’t,” he whispers in a choked voice. “Don’t say it. It hurts too much.”
My heart aches. Like it physically hurts so bad it feels like it’s ready to crack apart. Tears spill over my cheeks, and his eyes glimmer with unshed emotion, and that’s how I know he is feeling this too. Knowing my love isn’t unrequited should make me happy, but it only makes me sadder because we can never be.
Even though I want to throw caution to the wind—to spread my legs and welcome him into my body the same way he has already entered and claimed my heart—I won’t because I won’t take chances with his life.
“What the hell is going on here?” Mateo barks, and Leo and I jerk apart. My brother is standing in the doorway with steam practically billowing from his ears. The sharp glare he slants in Leo’s direction makes me uneasy, so I swing into survival mode.
“Leo’s wound is bleeding again, so I offered to patch him up.” Leaning over, I grab one of Matty’s pressed shirts from the hanging rail. “You don’t mind if he borrows a shirt, do you?”
“Natalia.” Mateo’s frustrated tone tells me he isn’t buying this for a second. Matty closes his eyes, and he’s a little less angry when he reopens them. “Mama is looking for you. The Grecos are on their way. You need to get ready.”
I swing my gaze to Leo, and he nods, telling me to go and he’ll take care of this.
“Don’t hurt him,” I whisper in my brother’s ear. “Remember he saved me yesterday and he has done nothing except loyally protect me. Don’t read into things that aren’t there.”
I have no idea if my brother will swallow the crap I tried to feed him, but they are good enough friends that I’m not too worried. As I trudge up the stairs, the reason my heart feels like dead wood in my chest has everything to do with the reality of the situation. I was almost kidnapped yesterday, and I’m guessing it’s because of who I’m engaged to. Someone wants to make Carlo pay for something, and they were going to use me to do it.
I hate that this is what my life has come to, but I cannot say I have not been prepared. It’s been schooled into me for years by my parents in different ways. Mateo too. None of us may like Carlo Greco, and I’m under no illusion about the kind of marriage we will have, but I am resolved to my fate now.
I can’t have Leo, and I must let him go.
There is no way of getting out of this marriage contract with the Grecos. This time next year, I will be Mrs. Carlo Greco, and I need to find a way of making peace with that.
