My heart jumps in my chest. “You still have it.”
“It’s one of my most precious gifts,” he admits, lacing his fingers in mine. I cling to his hand, savoring his warmth. “Like the woman who drew it.” His blue eyes find my green ones. “I’m sorry, Firefly. I know you are angry at me and you have every right to be. I hate hurting you. Hurting you hurts me too.”
“I appreciate and accept your apology, but how can I trust you if you continue lying to me, Ben?”
“Sweetheart.” He places the drawing on the table, taking both my hands in his as he swivels on the couch. I twist around so we are facing one another. “I want to be honest with you, but it’s not always going to be possible. I hear how shitty that sounds, but let me explain.” His eyes probe mine and I urge him to continue. “There will always be secrets in my world. Things I can’t tell you because to do so places you at risk. That is not an excuse to keep things from you. It’s the cold hard truth.” He squeezes my hand. “As my wife, you will be a target. My job is to keep you safe. Part of that means ensuring you are not exposed to information that could jeopardize your well-being.”
“I understand that, to a point, Ben. But there have to be exceptions. I have to know enough to be vigilant, and to be able to protect myself, and you can’t keep things from me that Ineedto know.” I peer deep into his eyes. “I needed to know Salerno was here. I needed to know about Anais.”
“I know, and I was wrong to keep it from you. At first, it was because I knew you wouldn’t come here if you knew the truth, and I had to protect you. I don’t think you understand the sheer terror I felt when you called me that day. My only concern was getting you and Rowan out of Chicago to safety.”
“I don’t understand why you couldn’t have just moved Anais and Salerno to a hotel before we arrived. You were able to do it within a few hours this morning.” I was delighted to see them being driven away just before lunch. Good riddance.
“The situation is extremely dangerous with the Russians right now. They have control of Vegas, and it was a bloody battle. Salerno was injured, defeated, and putting them in a hotel would have been too risky.”
“Yet you moved them to one now.”
“I did that for you.”
“Are you saying they are at risk?” I don’t like the man or his daughter, but I don’t want to be responsible for their deaths either.
“Yes, but my team is working around the clock to close the deal on their new property, and I put more of my soldiers on protection duty.”
“I feel bad now.”
He tucks a piece of my hair behind my ears. “Don’t. You are my priority. You and Rowan. And they will be okay for a couple of days.”
“Did you find out how Anais knew about me?”
His face hardens. “The little bitch followed us that night we walked in the woods. She eavesdropped on our conversation and put things together. Rather than confronting her father, she decided to try and chase you off.”
“How old is she?”
“Seventeen.”
“Wow. She’s vicious for someone so young.”
“A lot of the women brought up in our circles are. It’s a conundrum. Most seem to be either wholly innocent or spitefully evil. There doesn’t appear to be much middle ground.”
“I’m not sure that’s true or fair. Natalia isn’t like that.”
“You’re right. She isn’t, and I shouldn’t generalize.”
“You are being very conciliatory tonight,” I admit, extracting one of my hands from his so I can raise my glass of wine to my lips.
“I don’t like fighting with you, and I don’t want to let things fester between us. Today was shitty, and that’s not how I want to start our relationship.”
“Me either.”
“Am I forgiven?” he asks, arching a brow.
“Are you going to keep lying to me about things I need to know?”
He cups one side of my face. “Sierra. I will be as honest with you as I can. I promise to give you the information you need to be vigilant and to be cognizant of anything you need to know that impacts you personally.”
“Okay.”
Air whooshes out of his mouth in grateful relief, and a layer of stress seems to lift from his shoulders. “I didn’t think you would forgive me so easily.”
