“It might not be your fault, Lo. Have you considered that maybe the issue is with Saint? Maybe you should both get tested.”
My chest heaves painfully. “I have considered that, but it would only make things worse. I’d rather I was the failure than Saint thinking it’s him. If he can’t father children, it will devastate him, Jazz.” I swallow over the anguished lump in my throat. “If it was anyone but Saint, they’d deal with it. But Saint won’t handle it well. I know he won’t. He…”
I bury my head in my hands, full-on sobbing, while Jazz hugs me, rubbing a soothing hand up and down my back. “It’s going to be okay, Lo.”
“I wish I could believe that,” I rasp, looking at her through blurry eyes.
“You have had three healthy babies. You’re still young, and you have plenty of time to get pregnant. Even if there are any issues, there are so many options nowadays. Youwillhave another baby. I feel it in my bones.” She bites on the corner of her lip. “Do you want to know what I think?”
“Always.” I nod, sniffling, accepting the tissue she hands to me.
“I think all this stress is stopping you from getting pregnant. I’m no doctor, but this can’t be helping.”
“I think you’re right, but how do I handle this? I’m afraid to say any of this to Saint because I don’t want to hurt his feelings. And I can’t talk to the others because it’s not fair to put them in the middle of this.”
She wipes moisture off my cheeks. “I’m surprised you haven’t spoken to them because communication has always been key in your relationship. I’ve envied you that. You can ask Ken. He’ll tell you I’ve told him our marriage needs to be built on open communication like yours.”
“This is different.”
“It is.” She returns to her seat, handing me another tissue. “This is when communication is even more important. You love Saint and he loves you. He wants a baby with you, and you want a baby with him. You both want the same thing. It’s the way you are going about it that’s all wrong, and if you don’t speak up now, irreparable damage may be caused to your relationship.”
She is not telling me anything I don’t know, but hearing Jazz say it gives me the confidence boost I’ve been lacking.
I’m Harlow fucking Westbrook, and I don’t run from anything.
Especially not from difficult conversations with one of the men I love.
And I never lie down and accept defeat.
Determination zips through my veins, and I blot the last of my tears from my eyes, the first hint of a genuine smile appearing on my lips. “You’re right, and I needed you to tell me that.” I get up, and Jazz stands. I pull her into a hug. “Thank you.”
“It’s going to be okay, Harlow. I just know it is. Get your relationship with Saint back on track. Remove the pressure, and everything will happen naturally, I bet.”
“Can you handle things if I take off?” There is no time like the present. None of the guys are working today, and I know they will either be in the pool or at our private beach with the kids, so it’s the perfect time to pull Saint aside for a heart to heart.
“Go. I’ve got things here.”
I hug her again. “I owe you.”
“Any time. You did the same for me when Ken and I hit that rough patch.”
“That’s what friends are for.”
“Truth, sister.” She releases me with a smile. “Call me later, and let me know how it goes.”
“I will,” I say, grabbing my purse as I exit my office, feeling less burdened than I did when I arrived at work today.
Chapter 5
Saint
“WHERE ARE THEkids?” I ask when I return from the gym, finding the house eerily quiet. Lo is working, but the guys aren’t, so the place should be messy and noisy, and it’s not. I step out onto the patio where Galen, Theo, and Caz are currently lounging by the pool.
“Freya took them out for ice cream.” Freya is one of the neighbor’s kids. She’s sixteen and she recently began babysitting for us, but we generally only hire her at night, when we’re taking Lo out to dinner, so this is unusual.
I dump my gym bag on the ground, running a hand through my freshly-washed hair. “Is there a reason we needed to offload the rugrats?”
The guys trade looks, and I’m instantly on guard.
