CHAPTER 36
IRUN AFTERhim, slipping in the mud as rain hammers me from all sides. Cursing my stupidity at racing off without changing into more suitable clothing, I focus on staying upright as Saint disappears into the forest in front of me. Wind whips the hood off my head as I give chase, plastering stray strands of hair—that have come loose from my ponytail—to my brow.
Anguished shouting greets my ears when I dip under the shelter of the trees, welcoming the slight reprieve from Mother Nature. Rain still spills between the gaps in the branches, and tiny rivulets flow underfoot as I walk toward Saint, but the blanket of trees offers some respite. His fists pummel the bark of a tree while he roars and curses.
Slowing my pace, I observe from a few feet back, watching him take his aggression out on the poor tree with a pain in my heart. The skin rips across his knuckles, but still he continues to pound away, lifting his leg and kicking the bark when that’s not enough.
I step up beside him, pulling his hand back. “Stop. You’re hurting yourself.”
“I don’t fucking care!” he yells, yanking his arm free of my hold.
Swiping hair out of my eyes, I level him with a stern look. “Look at me!” I grab his arm before he makes contact with the broken bark. “You need to vent. I get that. But you ventwith me.” Grabbing his hand, I place it over my heart. “You own part of this, and every time you hurt yourself, you hurt me.” He tries to wrestle his hand away, but I don’t let him, gripping his wrist tight, forcing his hand lower until he’s cupping my breast through the hoodie. “Take me. Right here. Let me help you work it out.”
Grabbing the nape of my neck with his free hand, he yanks me toward him, forcing my head back at an awkward angle. “You want me to fuck my anger out, queenie? Is that what you’re saying?”
“Yes.” There’s no hesitation in my voice.
The hand around my breast squeezes, and he slams me back against the tree. “You want me to hurt you?”
“If that’s what you need,” I calmly reply, dropping my hand between us and grabbing his erection through his jeans.
His eyes flash manically, and the grip on my neck tightens to the point of pain. He arches my head back farther, kneading my tit through the hoodie. “No.” The word contains finality, and he pulls back, his hands leaving my body bereft. “I won’t do that to you. Ican’thurt you. Not like this.”
If this was any other scenario, I’d tell him I’m proud of how far he’s come, but that sentiment has no place in this moment. Taking a risk, I close the gap between us, slapping him across the face. “You don’t tell me no. Not now. Not ever. And you don’t get to fucking push me away.” I rip at the button of his jeans as he stares at me in shock. “You hurt,Ihurt. That’s the way it’s always been from the moment we met and our connection flared to life,” I remind him, shoving my hand down the front of his boxers, wrapping my fingers around his hard cock. Stretching up, I crush my lips against his, forcing my tongue into his mouth. When he doesn’t kiss me back, I rip my lips from his mouth and pull my hand from his boxers.
“I love you.” I grip his chin. “I. Love. You.” I peer into his eyes, beseeching him to let my love in. “I know your head is going in a million different directions, and I know you’re used to dealing with shit on your own, but you don’t have to do that anymore. I’m your wife, and your pain is my pain.” I unzip the sodden hoodie, throwing it to the wet forest floor, ripping my training top and sports bra off next. “Pain and I are acquainted on an intimate level,” I add, kicking off my sneakers next.
Saint stands transfixed, watching me like I’m some foreign creature he’s never encountered before.
Warmth blossoms in my chest as the truth of those words finds a home inside me. I should be cold, because a storm is raging around us, but there’s a different storm raging inside us, and it’s more powerful, more destructive, more vivid, consuming us in an inferno of flames, heating every part of me. My skin itches with a craving to touch, and from the way Saint shudders, I know he’s feeling it too.
He’s just too fucking stubborn and too angry to admit it.
“Give in to it with me.” I shove my yoga pants down my legs, bracing one hand against the tree as I yank them off my feet. Straightening up, I push my chest out and bare my soul, standing before him completely naked with rain bouncing off my pale, scarred skin, begging him to let go and give in to his instincts. “Lean on me and know that you never have to face anything alone again.”
“Lo,” he croaks, his voice cracking along with his resolve.
“I’m right here,” I whisper, placing my hand on his heart. “I’m here for you. Always,” I add on a whisper, feeling that truth sink beneath my flesh, lodging bone-deep.
Any lingering concern evaporates as Saint lunges at me like a wild beast set free from captivity. His arms band around me as he hauls me against his body, and his lips descend like the thunderous crash of a stormy wave. Our mouths collide in a frenzied kiss, and our tongues battle for control as we ravish one another while the storm outside continues to swirl around us.
One hand trails up my spine, tugging on my ponytail, arching my neck. Biting down on my lower lip, Saint rocks his hips against mine, and I claw at his shirt, ripping it apart with my hands, buttons flying everywhere. His lips graze my jawline, nipping, sucking, and biting, while I shove the wet material off his chest and move my attention to his jeans. A primitive moan escapes my throat as his teeth break the skin along the column of my neck. He bites and sucks, leaving a trail of pleasure-pain in his wake, and I arch my neck farther, granting him greater access, forgetting about his jeans, as I lose myself to his punishing touches.
His hand is still wrapped firmly around my waist, but as he dips me back, he loses his footing and we fall. Twisting around, he bears the brunt of the impact while I land unceremoniously on top of him. “Are you—”
His mouth suctions on mine, trapping my words inside. Three fingers spear inside my pussy, and I scream into his mouth at the sudden intrusion. I attempt to sit up, to pull his jeans down so I can free his dick, but my foot sinks into the soft mud, and I lose my balance, toppling off him, landing sideways in the muddy sludge. His fingers slide out of me, and I mourn their loss. Using my elbows, I push up on my knees, helping him to pull the sopping-wet denim down to his knees.
“Climb on my cock,” he demands, gripping my arms and helping me to get resituated.
Rain cascades down my spine as I lower myself over his cock, and I tilt my head back, closing my eyes, welcoming the droplets of water as they fall onto my face, washing some of the mud away.
Saint thrusts up inside me, and I groan, moving my hips as I start bouncing on him. Nimble hands roam my body, painting streaks of mud along my stomach and over my breasts, and his skillful fingers tweak and pull at my nipples, sending a flurry of pleasure to my core. Liquid warmth floods my cunt, and I whimper as every nerve ending on my body electrifies.
He curses as I clench around his cock, picking up my pace and riding him harder and faster. Outside the forest, rain crashes in voluminous sheets to the ground, and thunder rumbles angrily across the sky. A flash of lightning streaks across the sky, illuminating the Lexus in the distance. I knew the guys wouldn’t leave or intrude, because they understand how much Saint needs this. How muchIneed this.
Saint sits up abruptly, pulling my legs around his waist, while his arms secure around my back. Resting my hands on his shoulders, I lean in and kiss him, adoring this position because I can hold him close as he ruts inside me. “I love the way you fuck me.” I cry out as he slams into me, drilling his point home, plunging his cock in deep, hitting the perfect spot from this angle.
“I will never get enough of this, of you.” He moves his hands to my hips and controls our thrusts. We rock against one another in perfect sync, and the crescendo is building in intensity inside me. He bites at my neck and my collarbone, leaving teeth marks all over my breasts. I welcome the sting, followed by the soothing brush of his tongue as he laves at the bruised, broken skin, and I dig my nails into his back, clawing a path up and down his muscled torso.
