“What are you doing here?” he asks, closing the door and walking toward us. His expression is giving nothing away, so I can’t tell if he’s happy to see me or not.
“I came to see you. I was hoping we could talk.”
“We didn’t call her. Presley is here of her own accord,” Selena says, and her words confuse me a little.Why would they have called me?
“We’re going for a walk,” Keanu adds, already standing and towing Selena toward the door.
“Good luck” she mouths before they exit the apartment.
Silence engulfs the room as Kent and I stare at one another. I clear my throat, preparing to eat humble pie. “I missed you so much,” I whisper.
My words propel him into motion, and my heart skips a beat when I think he’s coming for me. But he bypasses me, sitting down on the other couch in the seat his triplet just vacated. “Yet you never called or texted. For twelve fucking days.”
I sit down on the edge of the couch, leaning forward with my elbows on my knees. “I wanted to,” I truthfully admit.
He scoffs. “You never struck me as the type of girl to not go after what she wants, so if that was true, it wouldn’t have taken you this long to show up here.” He grabs the beer his brother was drinking, knocking back a mouthful.
I wet my dry lips, picking up my mug, purely to have something to occupy my hands. “I was upset the first couple of days,” I begin explaining. “Trapped in the past, reliving my pain as if it had only just happened. Then I tortured myself with images of you and Whitney with your baby. Then I realized I’d made a terrible mistake in pushing you away. I let you down when you needed me the most, and I was so ashamed. I worried about you every day, and I went to pick up the phone hundreds of times, but I convinced myself it was better like this. That I would only get in the way.”
“What changed your mind?” His eyes remain glued to my face as he drinks, but he’s wearing a mask, giving me nothing, and I deserve it.
“I spoke to Mo. We talked it through, and I realized I need to get a handle on my grief so it doesn’t derail my future. I can’t go through life getting upset every time I see a baby or little girls the same age as Tillie. And something you said stuck with me, so I found a therapist who specializes in this kind of trauma, and I have an appointment next week.”
“That’s good, Presley, and I hope it helps, but it still doesn’t explain why you’re here.” A muscle ticks in his jaw, and heat flares behind his eyes.
“I’m here because I made a big mistake, and I regret how I treated you and the things I said.” Moisture pools in my eyes, and I stare at him, shielding nothing, wanting him to see everything I’m feeling. “I was scared, Kent, and I’m still scared, but I’m willing to try for you because I don’t want to lose you. Please give me another chance. Let me prove to you that I can support you through this.”
I pause briefly, summoning hidden strength so I don’t lose my nerve. “I can’t promise I won’t have moments when I’m overwhelmed or it hurts, but I promise I will never take that emotion out on you again. I want to be with you. You make me happy, and I know we can be so good. Whatever goes down, we can handle it together. And if it’s your baby, I would be honored to stand by your side as you navigate parenthood.”
It won’t be easy, because Whitney will see to it, but she’s not taking away the first good thing to happen to me in years just because she’s a mean, spiteful little bitch.
Very slowly, Kent sets his beer down on the coffee table, never taking his eyes off mine. His expression is guarded again, and I can’t tell if my words have been enough. He clears his throat. “Come here.” He wiggles his fingers in a come hither gesture.
Setting my tea down, I walk over to him, my calm exterior disguising my shaky insides, and stand between his legs.
In a fluid move, he pulls me down on his lap, circling his strong arms around me. My heart threatens to escape my chest it’s beating so hard and so fast. I peer into his stunning blue eyes, relieved when I see emotion gazing back at me. “You hurt me,” he says, his voice gruff and deep.
“I know, and I’m so sorry.”
He presses one long finger to my lips, shushing me. “More than that, you disappointed me.” He places his hands gently on my hips, but I still feel the warmth from his fingers searing through my shirt.
I nod, because I accept I have disappointed him. I have disappointed myself.
“You have always been so fucking strong, Pres. So confident and self-assured, like nothing would ever faze you. When you kicked me out that night, I was upset, and then anger set in because you tossed me aside so fast. I kept thinking of how Chris let you down and yet you stood by him.”
Tentatively, I rest my hands on his shoulders, staring straight into his eyes as I admit this truth. “The situation with Chris is complex, Kent, and it’s tied up in so much guilt and grief. I told you I didn’t see him for a year, and when he came back, in the state he was in, I couldn’t turn him away. I couldn’t let him sleep on the streets even though I was fucking livid with him. I can see how you would think what you were thinking, but it’s not the same.” I chew on the inside of my mouth before I admit this next truth. “Mo has wanted me to cut ties with Chris for years. She thinks I enable him and it’s my grief talking, and I…I think she’s right.”
“I don’t want to talk about your ex,” he says in a clipped tone.
“Kent.” I cup one side of his face. “Neither do I except I need to say this last thing.” My chest heaves as I prepare to lay myself at his feet. “I’m falling for you, Kent. Like seriously falling in a way I have never fallen before.” I drill my eyes into his. “I never felt this way about Chris. Not even close to it, and there is no competition in my eyes. If it comes down to it and you need me to choose, I will always choose you.”
He can’t know how big that declaration is, because everything I just said is true. “I feel a responsibility toward Chris,” I add, “because of our past and he was Tillie’s father. Her death was the final nail. It was at that point he lost his will to live. I know I’m the only person alive who cares what happens to him, and that is the reason I haven’t abandoned him, but if you need me to do it, I will do it for you.”
Taking my hand, he presses a tender kiss to the inside of my wrist. “I would never force you to make a decision like that. I can’t say I like the guy wandering in and out of your life, but I get that he’s not a threat to what you and I have, and if you are truly all he has, then you can’t abandon him.”
That’s what I’ve been telling myself all these years, but how long can I continue being Chris’s crutch?At some point, I am going to get married and hopefully have a family, and I can’t still be propping Chris up. “I’ve done a lot of deep thinking since we broke up,” I admit. “And come to a lot of realizations. I’m still working through them, but I’m determined to make positive changes in my life.” Steely determination resonates in my tone.
Kent smiles, threading his fingers in mine. “There she is. My little spitfire.”
