My mind recalls it so vividly now. Tears streak down my face. “She kicked him in the balls, and he grabbed her by the hair, screaming at her in a foreign language. She spat in his face, and he shoved her to the ground, took out a gun, and shot her in the back of the head.”
I’m full-on crying now, and Keanu turns me in his arms until I’m curled up against him. “There was blood everywhere, and all the girls were crying. I’d fallen to my knees, and I couldn’t stop screaming. Until Freddie yanked me up by my shoulders and told me that would be me next if I didn’t shut up and do what I was told.”
My tears dry up, and I shudder in his arms despite the warmth of the water. “Something vital died in me that day.” I stare deep into his devastated blue eyes. “A switch went off.”
“You went into survival mode,” he whispers.
I nod over the painful lump in my throat. “I was only ten, and I’d just seen my best friend killed, but somehow, I just knew that I had to do whatever they said to survive.”
“It’s why you are here today. It’s that inner strength you’ve always had—even when you refused to see it. I’ve always known it resides in you.”
“The trauma of that day forced the memories from my mind. Every day, for years, I’ve thought of Juanita. Wondered where she was or if she was still alive, when I’ve known all along that she was dead.”
“Your mind was protecting you the only way it knew how.”
“She was my best friend, Keanu. And I blanked how she died.” I stare at him. “If I could forget that, what else have I purposely pushed from my mind?”
14
Keanu
Selena sleeps fretfully, waking up crying and screaming, shaking and clinging to me in the bed. I don’t sleep a wink. I can’t. I’m too worried about her. And I’m so fucking mad at my brother for showing her that picture.What the hell was he thinking?I know he didn’t mean to hurt her, and in some warped way, it might have helped. But I can’t agree it makes it okay. Not when my girl is in agony. Drowning under the weight of the new memories that have resurfaced.
I kiss the top of her head, inhaling the delicate scent of her hair. I still can’t believe she let me take a bath with her. That she let me hold her and comfort her, wash and dry her, and help her into her sleep clothes.
I tried not to look. Not wanting to take advantage of the situation when she was vulnerable and broken. But it was hard. I’m a guy, and the girl I love was naked in my arms. I’m grateful I managed to control my cock and didn’t harden against her. It wasn’t challenging when she started talking because the horror of her abduction killed any lust lounging under the surface.
I want to take this girl and shelter her from the world.
If I could find a hideout where we could disappear to and live out the rest of our days in blissful ignorance and safety, I would do it.
But I know that’s only a fantasy. That it’s not what she needs. She can’t run from her past, especially not when she’s working so hard to confront it head-on.
I hate that Selena thinks she’s weak when she’s one of the strongest people I know. I’ve seen moments of clarity, where she believes that too, but her mind is struggling to hold on to that belief in the midst of what’s happening now.
I want to be her strength until she’s able to reclaim what’s already inside her.
She stirs in my arms, whimpering as she wakes up. “Morning, baby,” I whisper, pressing a kiss to her hair.
“What time is it?” she asks in a sleepy voice.
“Early. It’s not even seven. You should go back to sleep.”
“I can’t.” She shifts, and her leg slides in between mine.
Discreetly, I push my butt back, leaving more of a gap between our bodies so my morning wood doesn’t poke her and make her uncomfortable.
“I was wondering if you wanted to get out of the city?” I ask, threading my fingers through her hair. It’s in soft waves this morning because I only did a quick blow-dry on it last night after we got out of the tub.
She peers up at me, and my heart bangs around my ribcage. Selena is fucking gorgeous, and it’s so difficult keeping my hands to myself. “And go where?”
“To my parent’s place in Wellesley.” A frown dents her smooth forehead. “The house is massive, and it’s only Mom and Dad there. We also have a guest cabin on the grounds. We could stay there if you want complete privacy. It’s nice and peaceful. We could go for a walk in the woods or take a swim, and we have a gym and a home theater.”
I shrug, trying to downplay it, but I’d love to take Selena home. She’s never been to the house. And I want to take her there. She already knows Mom and Dad, and they will stay out of our way if I ask them to.
“I think I’d like that,” she says after a few beats, and I can’t contain my goofy grin.
“Yeah?”
