Although, I remember wanting to tell my mom.
Feeling uneasy.
But Juanita was so excited. We had daydreamed about being models. About becoming the next Giselle Bundchen or Amber Valletta. So, I forced my gut instinct aside and went with my best friend that fateful day.
It was the last time I ever saw her. And not a day goes by I don’t wonder what happened to her.
Becoming a model has been bittersweet, because it was something Juanita and I had planned together. And it took a long time for me to agree to model for Kennedy Apparel, because the thought of random men getting off to pictures of me has always made me sick. It’s why I never do lingerie or swimwear shoots—well, that and the obvious scars on my thighs, stomach, and chest—and another reason why I don’t do runway shows. I’m fortunate to be in a position where I can pick and choose what shoots I commit to. Ironically, limiting myself to modeling with KA, and only with Keanu, elevated my status, and brands are clamoring to sign me. It wasn’t intentional. And I definitely didn’t want or ask for the attention, but it’s what has happened.
I was nervous about accepting Miranda Fanning’s offer to become the face of her new collection because this level of fame comes with a price. But Miranda is the hottest new designer in the industry, and it would’ve been career suicide to turn her down. Besides, she has an ex-military brother-in-law who suffers with PTSD, and she’s been supportive and accepting of my terms and conditions. I’m in safe hands with her and her team, and that is always half the battle for me.
But I’m concerned about the extra coverage and publicity, and I know it’s only a matter of time before that bastard Lawrence sees me on a billboard or in a magazine and figures out who I am.
I knew this day might come when I accepted such a high-profile campaign, but I can’t live my life in fear. I can’t continue to let those bastards control who I am and what I become. I did that for far too long. Both when I was imprisoned and in the years after my escape when I withdrew into myself and hid away from the world.
It has to end.
I can’t move forward until the past has been dealt with.
So even though I’m scared, one part of me is glad I stumbled across him at the casting call. Because now I have the upper hand. I know whereheis. He doesn’t know where I am yet, and that gives us an advantage.
Whatever we decide today, I’m not backing down.
I’m ready to fight. To take back control of my future and to finally kill the hold those sick bastards have over me.
12
Keanu
“That was fantastic, Selena,” Keven says, patting his full stomach as he pushes his empty plate away. “You’ll have to email the recipe to Cheryl so I can bribe her into cooking it for me.”
“You’re welcome.” She beams from ear to ear, and I could kiss Kev. He’s been absolutely wonderful with her all night, and it warms my heart to see Selena like this. Yes, she’s still shy and quiet, and she still sits close to my side, looking to me for reassurance on occasion, but she’s comfortable around this table, laughing and looking relaxed, not stressed out or cowering behind me.
And I’m in awe of her.
Of how far she has come.
And I think I’m beginning to realize some truths.
Our breakup really had nothing to do with me.
She needed this. To find herself.
She moves to clear the table, but Kent and I won’t hear of it. House rules. She cooked. We clean. I escort her to the couch, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as she sits beside her mom, and Kev plonks his butt into one of the low armchairs.
“I like her,” Kent says, talking in hushed tones as we rinse and stack the dishwasher.
“I love her.” I’m not ashamed to admit it. For years, I told my family nothing about the girl who had captured my heart. Now, things have changed, and I’m not going to hide her or my feelings anymore.
“I know, bro. I always have.”
“I’m not letting her go this time,” I say, wiping down the counter. “Selena is it for me.”
Kent eyes me circumspectly. “You really mean that.”
I toss the damp dishcloth in the sink. “Yeah. I do.”
He thumps me in the shoulder. “Guess I’ve permanently lost my wingman, huh?”
