“Yes. For the first year after she lived with her adopted mom, she screamed anytime anyone tried to touch her. She still doesn’t like strangers touching her, and those close to her have learned to be careful around her.”
“She lets you touch her.”
“Yes, but I’m still careful to make no fast movements, to make her aware I’m going to touch her before I do, or to ask permission.”
“Fuck, man. I had no idea.” Kent shakes his head, and silence engulfs us for a few minutes. His eyes dart to mine. “That’s why you were a virgin.”
I shift uncomfortably on my seat. There are some things I won’t discuss with my brother. With anyone but Selena. I toss him a curt nod.
“Aw, man.” Kent slumps in his seat, squeezing his eyes shut. “I feel like shit for pushing you at that girl now.”
“You didn’t force me to lose my virginity, but I’d be lying if I said I haven’t regretted it.” It was a few weeks after Selena broke things off with me, shattering my heart, and I was a hot mess. My emotions were all over the place, and one night, in a fit of anger, and a haze of alcohol, I lost my virginity to some random girl I met at Torment.
It wasn’t my finest moment.
My voice cracks as I admit the truth to my brother. “I was waiting for Selena. I would have waited forever,” I truthfully admit. “And now she’s here, and I know she still loves me like I love her, and I think we might have a chance of mending our relationship.” I pin anguished eyes on my brother. “But if she finds out what I’ve done in the time we were apart, I’m afraid she’ll want nothing more to do with me.”
11
Selena
“Imadecoq au vin,” I tell the guys when they arrive downstairs an hour later. “It will be ready in thirty minutes.”
“It smells delicious,” Keanu says, smiling as he gives me a subtle nod, confirming he’s spoken to Kent and all is okay.
“It’s Mom’s recipe. I remember how much you loved it.” Heat creeps up my neck, onto my cheeks, and I drop my eyes to the floor.
“Sandrine’s parents were French,” Keanu tells Kent, tilting my face up with his finger. “And she’s the most exquisite cook. Sel too.” He softly cups my chin, his eyes conveying so much.
My heart grows wings, and I swoon at his complimentary words and his adoring gaze. I can’t believe I am here. That the time apart feels like it never happened. That he looks at me the same way. Like I’m his everything in the same way he is to me.
The doorbell chimes, snapping me out of my romantic daze, and I pull away from him.
“That must be Kev. I’ll let him in.”
I stand rooted to the spot, watching Keanu sprint across the open living space toward the front door, failing to disguise my blatant ogling. From the way he looks in his skintight jeans and tight Travis Scott T-shirt, which clings to his toned torso like a second skin, I’m practically frothing at the mouth. I thought Keanu only had tats on his lower arms, but the ink on his left arm now extends up under the edge of his shirt, indicating it stretches higher. I wonder if that’s a recent addition. I’ve never really been keen on tattoos, but Keanu has changed my mind.
Or maybe it’s just because the ink is on him. And he looks hot as fuck.
I didn’t think it was possible to lust after him more than I already did, but this more grown-up version has me weak at the knees. Keanu was a few months shy of his eighteenth birthday, and only really starting to grow into his body, when we broke up, but now, at almost twenty, he is definitely all man.
And my libido has most certainly noticed.
Which is a welcome new development—even if it terrifies me as much as it exhilarates me.
Taking back control of my sexuality is another challenge I must face. One I haven’t felt confident to tackle.
Until Keanu reentered my life.
It’s crazy how comfortable I feel with him after twenty-four hours in his presence. But, honestly, it’s like we were never apart.
A throat clearing draws my attention. “Selena.”
I pin cautious eyes on Kent, anxiety simmering in my chest, hoping he’s not going to discuss specifics.
“I’m so fucking sorry that happened to you, and I’m sorry if I’ve been an ass.”
He’s one hundred percent sincere, and I relax a smidgeon. “Thank you, and it’s okay. I can only imagine what you must have thought of me.” I cringe a little thinking back to the first couple of times I met Kent. How I stood there mute and frightened, clinging to Keanu and silently praying his brother would go away.
