Elizabeth and Lillian are seated at the table, and I’m plating our food when Charlie rushes into the kitchen, looking a little flustered. “Sorry I’m late.”
“You’re not,” I say without looking at him. “I was just about to serve up.”
He stalks toward me, producing a massive bunch of flowers from behind his back. “These are for you.” He leans down and kisses my cheek. “A peace offering for last night. I’m sorry.”
Could he be any more cliché?
“Thank you.” I peck his lips briefly, taking the flowers and placing them in the sink. “I’ll put them in a vase after we’ve eaten. I don’t want our food to go cold.” I place my hands on his chest. “Go talk with your mom and sister while I finish our plates.”
Charlie and I single-handedly keep the conversation going over dinner, and it’s awkward as fuck. We run through the plans for the ceremony tomorrow, but Elizabeth just stares blankly at us the whole time. Lil doesn’t have much of an appetite, pushing food around her plate, appearing sullen and pissed off.
After dinner, I go upstairs with Elizabeth to find something suitable for her to wear tomorrow. She crawls onto the unmade bed the instant we enter her room, and I walk into her closet alone, wondering how she’s ever going to bounce back from this.
Charles and Elizabeth lived for one another, and I don’t know if she knows how to cope without him.
I find several black dresses that will work, walking out into her bedroom with them on the hangers. “What about either of these?” I ask, holding up the two most appropriate ones.
“Whatever,” she mumbles from her place on the bed, not even looking up. She’s curled into a fetal position on top of the disheveled covers, and my heart aches for her.
I return the dresses to her closet, picking one and leaving it out for the morning. I choose matching shoes and a purse before stepping out of the closet and walking toward my fake mother-in-law. Perching on the side of her bed, I brush knotty hair back off her face, caressing her cheek with a feather-light touch. Elizabeth Barron is a beautiful woman, and she usually takes pride in her appearance. But it’s clear it’s been days since she’s showered, and she’s a bit of a hot mess with her red-rimmed eyes, puffy cheeks, and blotchy skin.
Not that I blame her.
She’s heartbroken. Taking care of herself is bottom of her list of priorities.
I lie down beside her. “I’m so sorry, Elizabeth.” I take her hands in mine. “I can’t begin to imagine how much pain you are in.”
Her bloodshot eyes lock on mine. “It’s never getting any better, is it?” she whispers.
“I haven’t lost the man I love,” I say, my heart spiking painfully as the stupid words leave my mouth, because even the thought of anything happening to Kai sends a rush of panic charging through me. My pulse throbs in my neck, and I force myself to calm down. “But I have lost my mom, and I miss her every single day.” I don’t mention the loss of my babies, because it’s still too raw, but that pain is something I carry on my shoulders all the time.
“I miss him so much.” Tears roll down her face. “And I don’t want to go on without him.” More tears cascade down her cheeks. “I know that’s selfish. That Charlie and Lillian need me, but how can I be there for them when I’m so broken on the inside?”
I’m broken on the inside too. But I’m using it to fight back. If I didn’t, I’d be a basket case in bed too. It sounds harsh when I put it like that, and I don’t mean it to be, but it speaks to our environments. I’ve had to claw, bite, and fight my way through my life since my mother passed, whereas Charles Barron worshipped the ground his wife walked on and he went out of his way to shield her and keep her safe.
But his protection has weakened her, and she needs to pull herself together, or the elite will eat her alive.
I wrap my arms around her. “You are stronger than you think. And you know Charles would want you to be strong for your children. He wouldn’t want to see you suffering like this.” I don’t really know if what I’m saying is helping or hindering, as I’ve no experience helping someone deal with their grief, but I’m trying. Sure, Drew and I leaned on one another after Mom died, but we were little kids. We just clung to one another without words, and somehow got ourselves through it.
“I don’t feel, strong, Abigail. I feel utterly weak without him.” She clutches onto me. “He was my everything. My strength. My hope. My joy. My purpose in life.” She sniffles. “I don’t know who I am without him.”
I don’t ever want to be that dependent on Kai. I want him to be all those things for me, but I don’t want to have to rely on him to the point I can’t do things for myself. I wonder if Elizabeth realized that is what was happening with her and she was happy to stay in blissful ignorance, or it just snuck up on her and she’s only realizing now that he’s gone.
Elizabeth Barron is a good woman, and she’s not unintelligent, but her husband made her vulnerable and weak.
I worry about what will become of her now she doesn’t have her husband’s protection.
An icy shiver tiptoes up my spine as I contemplate what might happen within elite circles to the widow of a founding father.
Nothing good I’m sure.
There was a time I could bank on Charlie to safeguard his mom, but I don’t know who he is anymore. Or what exact deal he has made with my father.
“You are still you, Elizabeth.” I tilt her face up to me. “And your children need you to be that strong woman tomorrow.” I press a kiss to her forehead. “You need to be strong for you, because there will be challenges ahead, and you can’t ignore them no matter how much you may want to.” I don’t want to be blunt or appear harsh, so I’m hoping my subtle insinuation will sink into her foggy brain and force her to start taking control of herself. “Can I make a suggestion?” She shrugs. “Let me run you a nice warm bath. You’ll feel a little better after. Please let me do that for you?”
I don’t expect her to agree, but she does. “Okay.”
“Just give me a few minutes, and I’ll set it up.”
