Now to face Sam and his thousand questions. I don’t want to lie to him. But I don’t want to have this conversation right now either.
“How do you know a guy like that?” Sam asks, suspicion threading through his tone. “He’s shady as fuck. Are you in trouble, Adam?”
I can’t look him in the face, and I won’t lie to him. I’m not sure I can stay in the dorm room tonight.
I start for the building when Sam grabs my arm. “Dude, answer me.”
“I don’t want to get you in the middle of this.” That’s the truth. The last thing I need is to worry about my roomie, someone I consider a brother. “Can we talk about this later?” I give one of my pleading looks that usually work on Mom and might work on Sam. “I promise I’ll tell you, but I’m beat, my head is throbbing, and I want to talk to Emily.”
He scans my face, studying me like he can read right through me. “I’ll give you some space, but I’m here for you. You know that.”
I clutch his shoulder. “And that’s why I love ya, dude.” There’s a door to hell with my name on it. A huge fucking knot forms in my stomach, and I just pray that when I finally tell Sam he’ll understand.
Right now, I need to hear my girl’s voice. I need her to calm me down because I’m finding she’s the only one who can.
* * *
Where the fuck is she?I can’t get ahold of Emily, and it’s driving me fucking insane. I want to pull out every hair on my head. I’m standing in the locker room at Greenville College, staring at my phone, feeling an almost uncontrollable urge to throw it at the wall.
This week sucked balls. Ray’s watching my every move. When I visited some clients, one of Ray’s goons shadowed me. Clearly, Ray doesn’t trust me now. And that makes me nervous. Fucker.
Coach rode the team hard, keeping us late at practice every night. This game with Greenville is huge. If we win, we could get an invitation to a bowl game.
Gnawing on the inside of my cheek, I lace up my cleats while the team gets dressed. I need to get my fucked-up head in the game. If I only knew Emily was okay, I might be able to think clearly.
Carter slaps me on the back. “Hoss, what’s wrong. Is Phoebe okay? Were you able to talk to your mom?”
On the bus ride up, I filled Carter in about Phoebe. I wanted to tell him I haven’t been able to get a hold of Emily and it was driving me bonkers, but it was too risky with Coach sitting only seats in front of us and the guys all around us.
Maybe she has cold feet. Maybe she changed her mind about coming out about us to her dad. Maybe she’s feeling like she told me she loved me too soon. Or... Nah, I don’t want to think that she fell off the wagon. My heart sputters at that thought. But I shake it off. Wes is securely in jail and not around to mess with her.
Wes isn’t the only one to drive Emily to drugs, dude.
Ah, fuck. Maybe she got into a fight with her mother.
Then something hits me. I should call Zach. He might have heard from Emily. That thought drives a knife into my chest only because when I think of Zach I think of him fucking my girl in that video, and I want to spill his blood.
Carter snaps his fingers in my ear. “Adam. Your phone is ringing.”
I shoot up and fumble with the locker door.
Carter mumbles something under his breath that I can’t make out. Right now, I really don’t give a shit anyway. But I know I need to focus. I can’t let the guys down. I can’t let Coach down. If I do, he probably won’t let me date Emily.
I finally have my phone in hand, and Sam’s name appears on the screen. Déjà vu blankets me. Something is wrong. Sam knows I’m about to play. He wouldn’t call unless it was an emergency. Suddenly, I’m taking a road trip back to early September when he came running down the track to tell me Phoebe was in the hospital.
“Everything okay, man? I have maybe five minutes at most,” I rush out in a huff. “My sister okay?” I went home mid-week to see Phoebe for a quick visit. As sick as she’s feeling, she still had a smile on her face, especially when she asked about Emily.
“Sorry,” Sam says in a dire tone. “I thought you wouldn’t pick up. I was going to leave you a voicemail. Look, we need to have a serious talk when you get back.”
He knows about Ray.
I should’ve known Sam would do some digging on Ray. After all, Ray introduced himself to Sam.
I bang my head against the locker door. “Sure thing.” I have no other words, and I don’t want to talk about it now or rather I can’t, not with Carter listening and the rest of the team in proximity. Plus, I need to tell Sam to his face. It’s not a conversation to have over the phone. Nausea sits heavy in my stomach. “As soon as I return tomorrow.” Or maybe not the minute I return, because if I don’t hear from Emily, I will hunt her down even if I have to storm her house to find her.
I had every intention of waiting for Emily outside the tutoring center one night this week, but that didn’t happen. The only reason I haven’t scoured campus is because Sam told me he saw Emily briefly and she was fine. Honestly, hearing that on Thursday kept me calm, but when Friday rolled around and she still hadn’t responded to my text or phone call, I was beside myself. I almost didn’t get on the bus to come here.
I hang up and return my phone to the locker.
