I won’t give that bitch the satisfaction of throwing me out on my ass.
I hold my father’s gaze confidently even though I’ve just blatantly lied to his face.
“Is that what really happened?”
“Yes, Daddy. I swear it’s the truth.” The devil on my shoulder chuckles gleefully. There’s no angel to offer a balance because—if guardian angels exist—mine has long since given up on my pathetic ass and left me to my demons.
He cups my cheek. “You know I love you, princess, and you can tell me anything. I will never judge.”
I gulp over the lump clogging my throat. “I know, Daddy,” I whisper as a heavy weight presses down on my chest.
“I failed you once before and I won’t do that again.” He peers deep into my eyes, and I keep my mask in place, because I know what he’s doing, and I can’t go there. “So, if there’s anything I need to know now is a great time to tell me.”
“There isn’t anything to tell,” I lie, plastering a fake smile on my face. “Things are good. I’m working hard, and my grades are steady, and I have Scarlett, and we hang out with a great crowd on the weekends. Life is great.” I’m smiling so wide I fear I’ll end up with lockjaw.
“All I want is to see you happy.” He kisses the top of my grungy head, and I inwardly cringe. I’m betting even my hair smells like puke. It’s like I bathed in that shit. “But I’ll settle for seeing you clean and healthy.” His words are light, infused with humor, but concern is still there in the background.
I think it always will be.
After discovering me unconscious in the front yard during senior year of high school, lying in a pool of my own vomit, with a cold sheen of sweat on my brow, my father will never stop worrying about me. I know I almost gave him a coronary that night. My mother too. But for very different reasons.
“Grab a quick shower and then get into bed before your mother comes home.”
“She’s still out?” I shuck out of his embrace, glancing up at him.
His lips purse. “Working. Apparently.” His tone is clipped, and I can tell he believes it about as much as I do.
My face drops, but I don’t say anything, because what’s there to say?My parent’s marriage is a complete sham but we’re the only three people who know the truth. Mom’s high-powered job as president of Cypress University means appearances matter almost as much as her qualification for the role, so, on the outside, they look like the perfect couple, we look like the perfect family, but it’s all lies.
It’s no wonder I’ve turned out to be such a competent liar.
It’s all I’ve ever known.
After I grab a quick shower, taking extra time washing my hair and brushing my teeth, I climb into bed with a loud yawn. My heart soars when I spot the glass of water and pills on my bedside table. Dad must have put them there while I was showering. At least one of my parents has made an effort to change their neglectful ways since my overdose, but it still doesn’t eradicate the giant, gaping hole in my chest.
* * *
“How are you feeling today?”Scarlett whispers when we meet for coffee on campus the following morning.
“Like death warmed over,” I truthfully admit. “At least, I slept. That’s something.” I have a ton of sleep issues, so getting five hours of uninterrupted sleep is heavenly. Not that it helps me feel any more energetic this morning.
Weekdays are hard, and it’s becoming increasingly challenging to stay away from Molly during the week. I try to focus on my studies and my tutoring, Monday to Friday, and let loose on the weekends, but I’ve been depressed a lot these past few weeks, and the temptation is strong.
I only broke my self-made rules yesterday because Weston fucking Blakely drove me to despair.
“It’s not like you to get high mid-week,” Scarlett admits in a hushed tone, her green eyes appraising “What happened? You weren’t very coherent when I collected you from the hospital.”
“Weston was harassing me again, and I just needed to get away from campus and him. He has photographic evidence of me snorting coke from the last frat party, and he’s threatening to send it to my parents.”
“Fuck.” Scarlett’s eyes pop wide.
“I know. I freaked out and stormed off campus, stopping at Randaddy’s for a drink, and I ended up buying some shit off a random dude. Worst mistake ever. I started convulsing almost straightaway, and the bouncer tossed me out onto the sidewalk. Some good Samaritan called an ambulance.”
“Shit, Em.” Scarlett rubs the spot between her brows. “You should’ve called me to go with. Then maybe it wouldn’t have happened.”
“I just wanted to be alone.” I shrug, sipping on my soy latte. “To figure out what to do about that blackmailing bastard.”
“We should hire a hitman,” she jokes.
