“Why?” He stops walking, angling his head like I lost my mind.
“Because I have a plan. Of sorts.” The one good thing about being bored out of my tree all weekend at home alone is I had plenty of time to conjure up some potential solutions.
“I’m all ears,” he says, tugging on my hand, and we resume walking.
For the first time in forever, I feel a sense of purpose. “I know this guy, another tutor, and he’s got mad computer skills. I’ve heard rumors he’s into hacking. Mainly targeting big corporations and trying to uncover fraud and evidence of corporate greed. I thought I’d offer to pay him if he’d dig some shit up on Wes. Everyone’s got secrets, and I just need to findonething I can use to hold over his head, and then I can make him go away. This could be exactly what I need.” Giddiness threads through my words.
Oh, the look on Wes’s face if I can pull this off will be priceless.
Zach starts walking again. “How trustworthy is this guy?”
“He’s a good guy and about as trustworthy as they come.”
He scrubs a hand over his jaw. “I can email you a list of names later. But you need to be careful. If Wes finds out what you’re up to, you know there’ll be hell to pay. Besides, the names probably won’t do much good. He terrified all of them into keeping their mouths shut.” A pained look washes over his face. “I tried to out him, but he turned it around on me and got me expelled.”
“What?” I splutter, slamming to a halt again.
“I wasn’t fucking the principal’s underage daughter.Hewas.” A muscle pops in his jaw. “Only I call it rape. She agreed to come forward and fess up, but he got to her somehow. She fessed up all right, but she pointed the finger of blame at me. I guess I should be glad she said it was consensual, but in the eyes of the law, it was rape. I only avoided criminal prosecution because my father made a hefty donation to the school and my parents agreed not to contest the expulsion.”
A dark cloud blocks the sun as I seethe. “I fucking hate that bastard,” I snap. “And now I’m even more determined to bring him down.”
* * *
One week rolls into two,and Mom has been on the warpath. The minute she walks in the door, she’s telling me what a disappointment I am, stating I’ll amount to nothing, telling me how I’m the talk of the campus after what went down at the fundraiser. After she lets loose on me, she turns her madness to Dad, and a fight match always ensues.
The tension, the fighting, her voice, the screaming, it’s all too much. I’m jonesing to get the fuck out of the house, and staring at the same four walls is driving me insane. Molly is my only savior. My only release from the tsunami brewing in my head.
The only time I get to see my friends is at lunchtime, and it’s always over way too fast.
I’ve missed a ton of parties, and it feels like I’m being left behind.
And Sam turned me down flat when I asked him if he’d do some investigative work for me, failing to conceal his shock and his disgust when I suggested it.
My life is on a spin cycle, and I’m spiraling so fast I’m not sure how much more I can take.
The depression is real, painful, maddening, and the only consolation is the bag of goodies Zach supplied. I’ve resorted to taking one pill every night, because it’s the only way I’m getting through this hell. But now, my stash is running low, and I’m on edge.
I pop my second-to-last pill Thursday morning before my first class, ignoring the queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach that says this is a bad idea. It was either do this or slit my wrists, because my mood is the blackest of black today, and I need a hit.
I clench my teeth, as sweat beads on my forehead, attempting to focus. The professor is rambling on about something, and from where I’m sitting in the back of the room, I can barely make out what he’s writing on the board.
Being buzzed in class is…different. I burst out laughing at the most inappropriate times, hum songs that are playing full volume in my head while swaying in my chair, and I’m struggling to keep my butt in my seat. Other times, I’m paranoid people can tell I’m high, and I slink in my chair, tucking my chin into my chest, slyly checking the room to see if anyone’s watching me.
The chick next to me says, “Shh, I’m trying to listen.”
I smile sweetly at her. “Oops, sorry.” My voice is loud, my giggle obvious, causing the professor to stop talking.
All heads turn my way.
I couldn’t give a shit what they think. I’m in my happy place, and nothing or no one can touch me. My mind floats, higher and higher, and I slink lower and lower in my seat, grinning widely as liquid bliss replaces the blood flowing through my veins.
The professor clears his throat. “Ms. Parker, you’re disrupting this class. It’s time for you to leave.”
I waste no time in gathering my things, but when I do, I sway on my feet. The chick next to me offers to help, but I swat her hand away.
Luckily, I’m close to the door, and I manage to walk out without tripping.
I’m sure my not-so-student-like behavior will get back to Mom. But, right now, I don’t care.
