“Hey, princess.” Dad bundles me into his arms. “How are you?” He holds me at arm’s length, examining me closely.
“I’m okay,” I admit, tugging on his arm and bringing him out to the sunroom. We claim seats in the far corner where it’s quieter and more private. “It was really rough the first couple weeks but it’s getting better.” Going cold turkey is never easy, but this isn’t my first rodeo. Besides, I can handle the physical symptoms.
The emotional ones are harder to deal with.
Especially now I’m openly talking about the rape and how it made me feel. My relationship with my parents, in particular Mom, is also a hot topic of discussion as it’s all tied up together. Not that I’m blaming them, but if they’d been more present in my life, I might have told them about the rape when it happened. The fact I felt I couldn’t only added to my pain, and I’m trying to work through all my feelings retrospectively.
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve cried myself to sleep or woken up in a cold sweat after hideous nightmares.
“Your psychologist called me. She wants me to attend a therapy session with you next week.”
I nod, knotting my hands in my lap. “She wanted a family session, but I explained about Mom.” I peer into his hazel eyes. “I assume she’s still missing.”
Dad nods, crossing one leg over the other. “They were spotted in Europe, and Interpol went after them, but they managed to escape before they caught up to them. But, it’s only a matter of time. They can’t run forever.”
“I can’t believe she chose him over me,” I admit, hating that a small part of me hurts. You’d think I’d be used to her rejection by now.
“Your mother has always been a vain, self-obsessed, selfish bitch. I thought I was doing the right thing marrying her when she got pregnant, but I would’ve been better taking full custody of you and raising you myself.”
I lean forward, taking his large hands in mine. “Don’t do that, Dad. It’s not your fault. And I’m learning that there’s no point continuously looking back except to examine any important lessons. To ensure we don’t make the same mistakes.”
A wide smile graces his mouth as he tweaks my nose. “There she is. My smart, insightful, compassionate, beautiful daughter.”
I wrap my arms around him in a hug. Just because I feel like it and I can.
He clears his throat after a bit, straightening up, and I sit back in my chair, quirking a brow in silent question.
“Your psychologist said it was okay to talk to you about this. That it’s better to be open than to continue to keep secrets. She believes you are strong enough to handle what I have to say.”
Now, I’m curious. “Okay. Let’s hear it.”
He runs a finger along the collar of his shirt, looking decidedly uncomfortable.
“Dad.” I place my hand on his knee. “No judgment. Just support. Remember?” I pat his knee. “It works both ways, so spit it out.”
“I’m gay,” he blurts, and I almost fall off my chair.
“Uh, I wasn’t expecting that,” I truthfully admit. “But it’s cool.” It’s not a lie. I mean, I’m shocked as shit, but I’ve always been a firm believer you should stay true to yourself. “Have you always known?”
“Yes, but it took me a long time to accept it. I spent a lot of years in denial.”
“So how did you end up with Mom?”
He sighs, rubbing a spot between his brows. “I dated a lot of women while I was in denial. Your mom was like no other woman I’d met, and she intrigued me. Of course, I didn’t realize she was a cold, calculating bitch until it was far too late.” He leans forward a little. “But I don’t regret it, because she gave me you, and you’re the most precious thing in my life.”
“I love you too, Dad,” I choke out. “And I want you to be happy. You’ve spent years miserable with Carole. You deserve some love in your life. And I don’t care if that’s with a man. I honestly don’t.”
Tears well in his eyes. “You mean that, honey?”
I pat his knee again. “One hundred percent, Dad.” I wet my dry lips. “So, eh, is there someone you love?”
He nods, and his eyes light up. “It’s Tom. Tom Price.”
“Coach Price?” I squeak.
“Yes.” He shuffles nervously on his seat. “Your mother wasn’t the only cheater in our relationship.” At least he has the decency to look ashamed. “I’ve been involved with Tom, on and off, for the last two years. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been so distracted. Why I didn’t notice what was going on with you.” Remorse is etched upon his face. “But I promise that’s not going to happen again.” He cups my face. “You come first, Emily. You willalwayscome first.”
“It’s okay, Dad. I can share you.” Tears prick my eyes as a giggle travels up my throat.
