“You should patch things up with him. He’s going to be in my life, which means he’ll be in yours.”
“I know,” he says, slurping his drink through his straw. “But I think I’ll make him sweat a little more.”
I almost choke on my burger, but I’m glad to see some animation back on my brother’s face. I soften my voice and my expression. “How are you really doing, Drew? You’ve been so quiet. I’m worried.”
“Don’t waste your energy worrying about me.”
“That’s a virtual impossibility, and you know it.” I reach for his hand. “Talk to me. You can’t bottle it all up.”
“I miss her,” he whispers. “I miss her so fucking much.”
“I know. I miss her too.”
“It’s like I’ve lost half of myself, and I don’t know who I am without her.” He props his elbows on the table, resting his face in his hands. “More than that,” he adds, piercing me with a serious look. “I’m scared of who I might become without her.”
“You’re still you.” I squeeze his hand. “And you’re one of the best people I know.”
An agonized expression washes over his face, and he yanks his hand from mine. “You wouldn’t say that if you knew the things I’d done.”
I remember Charlie’s explanation regarding their virginity, and I wonder what other things they’ve had to do. I don’t think I want to know. “If they’ve forced you to do things to survive, I would never hold that against you.”
“At what point do you have to stop and accept responsibility—even if it’s something that’s been technically forced upon you? If you’re the person who took the action, you are still to blame.”
“I don’t know, D. I’ve done things I’m not proud of, but we’re in a fight-or-die world, and I’ll always fight. In my heart, I know I’m a good person.” I pause for a beat. “A good person forced to make difficult choices. Forced to do bad things. But I never doubt what’s in my heart.”
“I never used to. Not until I lost half of mine.”
I’m still mulling over his words later as I leave the ballet studio after rehearsal.
Drew is drowning, and I don’t know how to save him.
A black Land Rover with dark windows pulls up to the curb, and the window lowers as I walk toward it. “Come on, slowpoke,” Drew says, shooting me a tender smile. “Hop in the back,” he adds, winking.
My brow puckers as I approach the car, wondering what he’s up to. When I open the back door and slide inside, the biggest grin spreads across my face when I discover Kai waiting for me.
I move toward him the same moment he reaches out for me, and I melt into his arms as our mouths meet. He holds my face in his large palms as he kisses the shit out of me, and I could happily die in this moment.
“Buckle up, lovebirds,” Drew says, revving the engine impatiently.
“What’s going on?” I ask, reluctantly moving away from Kai to put my seat belt on. He straps himself in, wrapping his arms around me and holding me close. “And why are you here?” I ask, stretching my head back to look at him.
“Aren’t you happy to see me, baby?”
I cup his cheek. “Of course, I’m happy to see you, but I recall my brother warning you to keep your distance.” I eyeball Drew through the mirror. “What’s changed?”
“Nothing,” Drew replies, glancing briefly at me as he glides the car out into the traffic. “But we need to do something, and I figured it was safe to bring Kai. I know what it’s like to crave the person you love. I can’t do anything about Jane, but I could do this for you.”
I unbuckle my belt and lean forward, poking my head through the gap in the front seats, and kiss my brother on the cheek. “Thank you. I love you.”
“Love you too, sis.”
“Sit your fine ass back down,” Kai says, fisting a hand in my sweater and yanking me back. “And put your belt on.”
“Happy?” I arch a brow as I secure my belt and nestle into the crook of his arm.
“With you in my arms, always.”
Drew makes a gagging motion.
