I roll my eyes but give up fighting the inevitable, because there are bigger battles to pick.
“Why do you want a do-over?” I ask, staring straight ahead rather than looking at him.
“Because I didn’t want our reunion to go down like that.” He cups one side of my face, forcing my gaze to his. “Are you okay? Did they hurt you?” His mask is down, and concern shows on his face.
I gulp, taking a moment to compose myself before I lie. “They didn’t hurt me. I’m fine.”
“And the baby?”
The vulnerable look in his eyes almost undoes me, and I can only nod.
“I didn’t know, Abby.” His eyes penetrate mine, beseeching me to believe him. “I didn’t know they did that to you.” He drops his hand from my face, and his Adam’s apple jumps in his throat, as his chest heaves. The truth is transparent, and some knots in my chest unravel. It doesn’t alter the fact he still betrayed me, but it helps take away the sting.
“Why did you always have sex with me without condoms?”
“Because I fucking loved being inside you with no barrier. I was clean, and you were on the pill. Or so I thought.” A murderous look washes over his face.
“Was it Rick?” I choke out, and he bobs his head.
“Why?”
“Because we’ve been conditioned to hate you most of our lives, and when our father said he needed me to do it, I didn’t stop to question it like I should have,” Rick answers, stepping into the bedroom uninvited. Kai narrows his eyes at his brother. “I can’t let you take all the blame,” Rick says, crossing the room.
“And he did all that shit to me because he blames me for losing the love of his life,my mother, and ruining their escape plans?” My voice drips with condescension because it sounds no more believable than the first time I heard it.
“Dad’s fucked in the head,” Kai admits, and I snort.
“That’s an understatement.” My jaw clenches. “He’s the reason they sexually assaulted me.” I grind my teeth to the molars.
“Something else I didn’t know until the ballroom,” Kai says.
“Something neither of us knew, and the extent of his relationship with your mother,” Rick adds.
“I’m assuming he knew I gave my virginity to you, but how did he find out?” My jaw is tense as I question Kai.
“He didn’t find out from me,” Kai says, and a muscle pops in his jaw. “I didn’t tell anyone about our night on the beach.” His eyes plead with me to believe him. “You saw Hunt, Lauder, and Rick’s reactions when you let that slip.”
I did, and I know he’s telling the truth.
“It doesn’t alter what happened. Your father knows the elite. He had to have known what’d happen if that truth came out, yet he still did it. All for the sake of revenge. He’s as bad as the others, and there’s nothing you can tell me that’ll ever justify him using me to further his aims.”
“There isn’t anything to justify it. It was wrong.Hewas wrong, andIwas wrong, but you don’t understand what it’s been like these past ten years.” Rick props his butt against the edge of the dresser. “Kai can give you more of the background, but Dad turned to alcohol when we left Rydeville, and he was a drunk until about two years ago when he got sober. He spent years trapped in an alcohol-induced haze, and his sole focus was getting revenge on your family. Your father took everything from him, and in his eyes, you were the trigger that fired the gun that left him penniless and broken.”
“I was seven years old. I didn’t know any better.”
“We know that now,” Kai quietly says. “But when you’ve had something drummed into your brain every second of every day, for years, you believe it, even if your rational mind knows it’s not fair or true.”
I still think it’s a bullshit excuse, but I don’t probe further, because there are other more pressing questions I need answers to.
“Did you switch out my birth control or put something into the drip?” I ask Rick.
“I switched out your pill,” he admits, and at least he has the decency to look ashamed. “Our uncle Wes owns Femerst. It’s a pharmaceutical company which produces medication solely for fertility-related conditions. They have this award-winning medication that’s used to stimulate ovulation, and we swapped your pills out with it. It was easy for Wes to replicate the packaging and shape the pills so they looked exactly like your prescription.”
I jump up and slap him across the face, relishing the resounding thud that echoes around the room, and the way his head whips back from my powerful strike. “I will never forgive you for violating me like that.”
To think I used to have a crush on this guy.
Unfortunately, my taste isn’t any better now I’m all grown up.
