“I speak English—obviously—and Spanish and some French and Japanese. That’s it. This opera is German.Fidelioby Beethoven.” He shrugs. “I might understand ‘hello!’ in German, if somebody says it. If they sing it, forget it.”
I laugh harder.
“But I don’t mind. The point is raising money for some charity.”
“I can see how it’d be worth the time.” I savor my final bite. I’m not super hungry after all the chocolate.
“Yes, but it’s also an opportunity for us to be seen together as a couple. With the pearls from Akiko.”
The image he creates makes my heart flutter, but caution holds me back. “But they’re too precious.”
His eyebrow rises in a warning. “Nothing is too precious for you.”
“But you said they’re heirlooms.”
“Exactly. Which is why they should be worn. So everyone knows that you’re with a Huxley.”
I fidget with the wine glass, running my finger up and down the stem. Although I’m trying to live in the moment, my mind can’t help racing to the future. “Josh…what we have—it’s only for six months. And we don’t even havefivemonths left now. What if—”
“Klein.”
I stop and wait for him to continue. Nothing happens. So I prompt him: “Yes?”
He hesitates. Anxiety, fear and grim determination pass over his face in rapid succession.Why is he reacting like I asked for a kidney?
“Klein.” He says my name again like it’s some kind of magic word. “We initially agreed to six months, but that doesn’t mean we have to stick to the timeline.” He takes a moment, as though searching for the right words. “An agreement can be modified if both parties are amenable.”
“Riiight.” I nod slowly, unsure where we’re going with this.
“We don’t have to force ourselves to end it at six months just because that’s what we initially said. To be honest, we didn’t even decide on that deadline ourselves. It was just that ridiculous challenge Chad threw at you. Right? So we can find our own fulfillment by ourselves, as a couple, without any artificial deadline, by taking it one day at a time.”
I blink a couple of times. Taking our situation one day at a time was an option I’d been considering, but I didn’t realize Josh thought the same. The knowledge is surprisingly comforting and reassuring. Just not having a deadline makes our relationship feel more solid—after all, every journey starts with a first step. Josh and I can stay together for as long as we want.
He gazes at me steadily. “The truth of the matter is I’ve liked you for a very long time. When I said I cared about you, it wasn’t just about getting into your panties.”
My heart stops just before my brain short-circuits.
“I just never wanted to admit it. I didn’t think I was good enough.”
I shake my head. That doesn’t make sense. Why is he saying whatIshould be saying? “That’s ridiculous,” I blurt out.
Self-deprecation cuts through his face. “But it’s true. Remember what I told you about my mother?”
“But that’s her, not you.”
“What do you think about her?”
“Zoe?” I purse my lips. From the intense look in his eyes, my answer is going to be important, and I don’t want to say the first thing that comes to mind—She’s a horrible person for trying to kidnap and hurt her own children. “She was nice to me, but knowing what I know now… I think she’s highly manipulative and doesn’t mind who she hurts for expediency. I’m so sorry that all those awful things that happened to you. You don’t deserve any of them.”
He lowers his eyes for a moment, like a man bracing for a certain defeat, and sympathy wells inside me. The Josh Huxley I know is confident and proud. When he raises them again, his expression is blank. “I never wanted to find love. I never wanted to care for anyone other than my family because you can’t escape blood ties. My mom used to tell me that she was most proud of me out of all her three boys because I was the most like her.”
His mask splinters, showing bleakness underneath. My heart shatters for him.
He continues: “And because I was such a fool, I was elated when she told me that. I loved her and I wanted to make her proud. I was overjoyed that I was like her, until I realized that she wasn’t anything like what I believed. She’s amoral and out ofcontrol. She doesn’t care about collateral damage as long as she gets what she wants.” His voice cracks. “Sometimes I’m terrified of the possibility that I really am like her. There are times I feel the urge to do something I shouldn’t so I can hurt her the way she hurt me.” He shakes his head. “And that can’t be normal, can it?” It isn’t a question but a desperate plea to be free of the heavy burden he carries. He’s afraid to answer the question because he doesn’t trust himself.
“Why not?” I say gently. “Wanting to get back at someone who hurt you doesn’t make you a sociopath. That’s just being human.”
He gazes at me, half hopeful, half scared, and suddenly I hate Zoe. Josh is the kind of man who shines no matter where he is, radiating power and self-assurance, and she’s sown him with self-doubt.
