–Chad: Sorry, babe, but I can’t meet your parents this Saturday after all. My father got hospitalized with chest pain, and we aren’t sure what’s going to happen to him.
My heart drops.
–Me: I’m so sorry. Do you need me there with you? I can ask for time off.
–Chad: No, it’s okay. Charlotte is so far.
Chad’s parents moved to North Carolina after his father quit practicing dentistry in SoCal. I unfortunately haven’t had a chance to meet them, and Chad never got to meet my family before popping the question yesterday.
His proposal was actually kind of shocking. I was wondering if the relationship made sense for both of us. My feelings for himwere growing rather slowly, and I wasn’t sure if he was really into me because he’s so busy—especially on weekends, with seminars and further studies for his profession.
But I couldn’t say no. After all, he is probably the best I can get, and Max always says the best way to get over a crush is to find a new man. Chad promised to propose again, more properly, after getting my father’s blessing.
I had to laugh. Dad will probably have nothing to say except, “Thank God we can offload her onto someone gainfully employed.” Well, he’ll say it more diplomatically—I hope—but that’ll be the message. His biggest worry is that nobody will want me. It’s incomprehensible to both my parents that Katt is kicking ass and taking names, while I’m more or less “just getting by.” My salary looks like a joke compared to Katt’s millions, even though I earn enough to meet my needs and then some.
We’re sisters, after all. Twins even, albeit fraternal. With the same set of parents. There must be some kind of failing on my part stopping me from being the kind of success Katt is.
They believe that my job at Huxley & Webber makes me a disaster. In their worldview, unless I’m making millions a year, I’m losing at life. They did their best to make me move into the condo Katt bought so I could be less of a loser, but I know the real motive. A rival model bought a house for her younger brother, and my parents thought Katt should do something similar to boost her image. Katt didn’t really want to give me the condo, so it’s under her name—I was just supposed to live there, rent-free, even though it’s way too far from the office. They acted like I told them I snort coke on weekends when I declined. Even if it’s rent-free, I can’t drive three hours each way on commute. That’d be six hours of my life,poof, gone every day.
No more updates from Chad. Guess he’s already on his way to Charlotte if he isn’t there already. My phone buzzes again.
–Mom: Katt got a callback from the movie Ted Lasker’s producing!
–Me: Wow. That’s huge!
Itishuge. Ted Lasker is one of the most successful movie producers of all time. He’s turned countless newbies into major stars. I’m happy for Katt for getting the opportunity.
–Mom: We’re going to Peking Town for dinner tonight. You should come and celebrate Katt’s big milestone.
–Me: Peking Town?
–Mom: Yes. Can’t you make it?
I sigh with a slight resignation because Mom’s probably genuinely confused. I push down the feeling. It won’t do any good to be upset.
–Me: Seafood allergy.
–Mom: But Peking Town is Katt’s favorite. And it’s just one meal. Don’t make things difficult. Besides, not eating much won’t hurt. Might even help. Free immunotherapy, you know?
The words sting. Mom’s never hidden her disappointment that I’m nothing like Katt. She believes if I were more like my twin, I’d be doing so much better at life, making significant monetary contributions to the family, so everyone could enjoy greater abundance. After all, it was Katt who single-handedly saved us from financial ruin when she was discovered by a modeling agency. Mom told me if I were just thinner and taller, I could’ve been a successful model like Katt because we’re twins. We could’ve helped each other’s careers, too, by sharing opportunities and pulling each other to the top. Katt had to struggle alone—and harder—because of my shortcomings.
The muscle under my right eye starts twitching.
–Mom: It’s at seven. Don’t be late. Bring a gift for Katt.
–Me: Okay.
–Mom: Wear something pretty. A cute dress maybe, but nothing too slutty.
I try not to sigh too loudly.
–Me: I’ll head over right after work.
–Mom: Good. Say hello to Josh for me. Can’t wait to welcome him into the family.
She can share that sentiment with him directly. I’m not going to bother him with messages about how my family can’t wait for him to become my brother-in-law. Just too cringey.
I put down my phone and close my eyes for a moment. Purposely, I imagine some beautiful scenery. A crystal-blue ocean. The rhythmic sound of waves. Briny air. The image is everything I need to settle my emotions. I exhale, releasing negativity with the breath. Within a few moments, I’m much calmer.
