Chapter Forty-Two
Fiona
The pungent scent of antiseptic tickles my nose. I sneeze, then wince at the pain radiating all the way down the left side of my face. My shoulders ache, and the skin on my wrists is raw. But other than that, I’m okay.
Better than okay. Smashing my head into Jude’s face was liberating. Exhilarating, even. It just felt so…rightto resist and show him I wasn’t afraid of him. Not anymore. And he isn’t going to have any blackmail material to manipulate me with. Did he think I was still the college sophomore afraid of getting un-adopted by Sherry?
I used to think she was the only one who could save me from being alone and unwanted. But recently, I’ve gradually started to realize that might not be the case. What I felt for Sherry wasn’t so much gratitude as an overwhelming sense of debt that I needed to be perfect to pay her back. She doesn’t feel the kind of love a mother should have for her daughter, either. She just sees me as a tool.
I now understand what love is—not just the romantic love I have with Bryce, but familial love. Although Bryce’s brothers haven’t warmed up to me, Akiko makes me feel appreciated just the way I am. Lareina treats me like my own person and wants to hang out together just because.
Aaron and Jude should’ve known that what worked ten years ago when I was young and inexperienced wouldn’t work again. Seeing my husband beat them gave me a kind of calm and satisfaction I haven’t experienced in forever. It felt like well-deserved justice, even though it’s taken so long.
“Fiona. You’re awake now,” Bryce says, his voice trembling. His warm hand cradles mine, which is like an ice block. “You gave me a scare.” He looks at me, his eyes bloodshot, his face unshaven. The hair is messy, like he’s run his hands through it endlessly. I’ve never seen him this haggard.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, my voice raspy.
“You were unconscious for three days.”
“Threedays?” I didn’t even realize I’d fainted. After the cops showed up and arrested Aaron and Jude, and Bryce promised they’d go to prison, exhaustion overwhelmed me. I only closed my eyes to rest briefly during the ride to the hospital.
He buries his face in my hand. “I was so scared I’d lose you.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.”
His head snaps back up. “Sorry? Are you serious? You should be pissed I was too late.”
“But you weren’t. You crashed into the room like a warrior and saved me, remember?”
His fingers hover over my swollen cheek. “If I’d been in time, you wouldn’t be here.”
“I’ll heal, Bryce.” I wrap my hand around his fingers and kiss the tips. “You saved me from another nightmare.”
“We,” he corrects me. “You did a good job defending yourself. I think you’re the one who broke Jude’s nose.”
Warm satisfaction unfurls through me. “Is it really broken?Good. I was hoping for that.” I put the other hand over my belly. “And the baby?” I ask, knowing the doctor probably already told Bryce when the hospital examined me in the last three days. Besides, my pregnancy isn’t something I can hide. And I don’twantto hide it, even if he says he doesn’t want us pregnant. I’m tired of secrets.
“Healthy. Thank you for protecting our baby,” he says softly, kissing the pulse point on my left wrist.
“Weprotected our baby. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
He shudders and tightens his grip.
I run my hand over his hair, finding comfort in the sensation of the soft, warm strands gliding through my fingers. “How did you know where I was?”
Bryce scowls. “Josh put a tracker in your purse when you stopped by to give me cupcakes.”
My jaw drops.Of all the possibilities…“Josh put a tracker on me? Seriously?”
“He was in the office to try to invite us for dinner, but I suspect he wanted us over there so he could put that thing in your purse.”
“But…why?”
Bryce bites his lip, his eyes flicking away briefly. “He doesn’t trust you. He thinks you’re going to betray me. He thought if he could listen in on what you were doing, he could stop you from hurting me.”
I inhale. Although it isn’t fair of Josh to distrust me, I’ve never explained what happened. “It’s…understandable. I wasn’t exactly the nicest person. The way I hurt you…” I close my eyes briefly, reliving the pain. It was the worst time in my life—even worse than when the first couple who adopted me decided to send me back. At least in that situation I had no choice in the matter. With Bryce…Idid things that hurt him. I should’ve trusted him not to shut me out because of the videos Jude and Aaron made. But I was too focused on being perfect, not understanding that I didn’thaveto be perfect to be worthy of love.
I sit up gingerly. This isn’t the kind of talk I want to have lying down. “You should know the truth about what happened back in college.” I look at him with remorse and regret. His expression shifts to one of quiet patience and openness as he takes my hand and warms it in his.
